Mikey: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday!
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.

Mollie: Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, and she moved to Queens. The end.
Julie: That's not a story!
Mollie: It is tonight. Good night.

Rocks: Ma, hey Ma! Check it out! I got these things on my face to open. I can see! I can see . . . wrinkly butts. Yuck!
Rocks's mother: Oh, they're not mine. They're your brothers' and sisters.'
Rocks: Good. That makes me the cute one.

Mollie: James.
James: What?!
Mollie: Don't tell jokes.
James: I'm funny!
Mollie: You are funny, honey, in sort of a...
James: Corny.
Mollie: Corny, kind of funny.

James: Mike, what do you think of this suit?
Mikey: You look like my principal.
James: See? Even he thinks it's stupid.
Mollie: He is not offering you a dental plan.

Julie: Look! They like each other!
James: *to Mollie* See honey, they like each other.
Daphne: Mongrel.
Rocks: Bitch.

Mikey: We need a dog. 'Cause like those guys who come to our door to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off.

Mikey: Stop brushing her, Julie. She already looks like a Q-tip.
Julie: Your dog smells like a diaper.
Mikey: Does not!
Julie: Diaper dog! Diaper dog!
Mikey: Q-tip head dog.
Julie: Stinky dog!
Mikey: Bald-butted dog.