Baker: Women can't live without 'em and they can't pee standing up.

Baker: What's he pointing up there? Does he know somebody?

Harry: That looked like the Terminator, only slower. Maybe it was his out-of-stater, or it could have been the Hibernator--that baby is definitely going away for the winter. Whatever for Vaughn, it might be see-ya-later. He's probably gonna become a spectator.

Harry: The outfield walls now look like the yellow pages. And, any of you folks having trouble finding a good proctologist might want to come down here and check out the area around the 375 foot sign.

Harry: Good news, fans. The Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact, they appear to be beating the crap out of each other.

Baker: You're standing on the tracks, and the train's coming through, butthead.

Baker: There ain't no odds against beating yourself no matter what the percentages are.

Rick: Did he say free and queer?

Parkman: It must be tough to be old.

Baker: Yeah what the hell. My momma always said it was better to eat shit then not eat at all.

Harry: ...apparently he's bathing now...(about Rick)

Harry: Back goes Cerrano, he'l need a rocket up his ass to catch this one.

Johnny: Bite me Velbonne.

Lou: Forget the damn bird, run, run.

Johnny: Wild Thing, you make my butt sting!

Harry: The Indians have a runner. I think I'll wet my pants.

Johnny: You ain't got nobody left Taylor! You're old mother Hubbard and only Vaghn's in the cupboard!

Baker: Hey when the tough get going, the going get tough.

Baker: Who are they?
Jake: They are our center fieldman.

Lou: Hey Hayes. What are you doing?
Willie: Going deep. Buffed up this winter.
Lou: You needed to wearing all that jewelry.

Baker: They're going to send me back to Yamaha, and I don't even live there.

Baker: Cerrano, I made it. I'm on the rooster.

Kid about Vaghn: What's he doing in a suit?