Suzanne: Oh my God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Paul: No, actually. I just got hit in the head by a racquetball.

Coach Gennero: Well, is it fatal?
Doctor: Indigestion? Only in Mexico.

Coach Rig: Not much of a crowd.
Coach Gennero: Well, at least we have the home field advantage.
Coach Rig: The Alamo was the home field.

Coach Rig: How about that, he stinks at two sports.
Coach Gennero: I can work with him, just butt out of my offense.
Coach Rig: If you can build an offense around a guy who throws like Edward Scissorhands, we're gonna be playing a hell of a lot of defense.

Coach Gennero: Wally, did you hire an Assistant Coach without telling me?
Coach Rig: No, I found a Quarterback without telling you.
Coach Gennero: Well, I hope he gets younger as he gets closer.

Coach Rig: Ok Banks. Ready, Hut! Come on, Banks, you're supposed to be hitting a sled, not humping a butterfly! I want you mean, I want you nasty! I want you to eat raw meat! Get your ass outta here! Alright, Next! *Andre readys himself to hit the blocking sled* Ready, Hut! *Andre knocks Coach Rig off the sled*
Andre: Andre does not eat raw meat. 'Cause Andre is a vegetarian.
Coach Rig: Eat whatever the hell you want Andre!

Coach Gennero: Get up, Wally, people are watching. Not many... but they're watching.
Coach Rig: If this wasn't friggin astro-turf, I'd dig a grave for myself.

Coach Rig: Now, let's analyze what's been working for us. *pause* NOT A GOD DAMN THING'S been working for us. Like this goddamn suit doesn't work for me... and this stinking tie... and this goddamned shirt. IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WINNING HARD-NOSED FOOTBALL? YOU PLAY FOOTBALL LIKE ED GENERRO PLAYED FOOTBALL. A guy who gave his life for this football team. He was a 140-pound halfback, and HE PLAYED LIKE A GODDAMN WILDMAN! NO! LIKE A GODDAMN RAMPAGING BEAST! And that's the way you got to do it! YOU GO OUT THERE! YOU TEAR THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF, AND YOU SHIT DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray.

Chuck Neiderman: I hope you stay tuned as the Texas State marching band does its salute to gun racks and open beverage containers; which is only legal in Texas.

Edison: How many timeouts do we have left?
Paul: Three.
Edison: Can we take 'em all now?

Paul: You alright?
Andre: Oh, I'm doing fine; except for the fact somebody hit me with a chair.