Young Matt: I can't believe you invited those clones.
Young Jenna: They're my friends.
Young Matt: The Six Chicks are not your friends, okay?
Young Jenna: Almost. And someday I'm gonna BE a Six Chick.
Young Matt: There are six of them, Jenna, that's the whole point. There can't be a seventh Six Chick. It's just mathematically impossible. Besides you're way cooler than they are, they're totally unoriginal.
Young Jenna: I don't want to be original, Matty, I want to be cool.

Jenna: I'm 13.
Lucy: Jenna, if you're going to start lying about your age, I would go with 27.

Arlene: Eminem is on the phone and he wants an answer now.
Jenna: Plain. *pauses looks at Lucy* Peanut. Plain.

Becky: I like your dress.
Jenna: It's because I got these incredible boobs to fill it out.

Richard: Who's your daddy?
Jenna: Wayne Rink.

Lucy: Get in the car.
Jenna: No.
Lucy: Come on Jenna, get into the car.
Jenna: No, I don't get into cars with strangers.
Lucy: Oh, don't you think that you're exaggerating, now get into the car!
Jenna: No, I don't get into cars with strangers!

Jenna: I saw his thingy!
Lucy: *sarcastically* Oh God, not his thingy.

Matt: Jenna, what are you... Why are you here?
Jenna: Matty, I told you - something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then, and then today I woke up and I'm this, and you, I mean - you're that! You get it?
Matt: Are you high? You been smoking pot? Doing X? Fallen into a K-Hole? You doing drugs?

Jenna: What happened?
Matt: I don't know. I can pretty much peg it to your 13th birthday party, when you were in the closet playing that game. Spin the Rapist?
Jenna: Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Jenna: You are rude, and mean, and sloppy, and frizzy - and I don't like you at all.

Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... Pukie! You're married!

Jenna: Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. Do you know what kind of person I am now, I mean - do you know who I am right now? I don't have any real friends. I did something bad with a married guy. I don't talk to my mom and dad. I'm not a nice person. And the thing is - I'm not 13 anymore.

Jenna: You want to know a secret?
Matt: Yeah.
Jenna: You're the sweetest guy I've ever met.

Jenna: Hey! You got arm hair!
Matt: Never got quite that reaction before.

Richard: Jenna, my balls - Excuse my French - are in an iron vice. Corporates are twisting and squeezing like a bunch of dominatrixes on steroids, and now Lucy is presenting her own re-design without you. Could you tell me what is going on?
Jenna: What is going on is that you are going to have more choices.
Richard: With all due respect to Lucy, I'm far more anxious to know what you've been working on.
Jenna: Thank you.
Richard: I'm not trying to compliment you. I'm trying to pressure you.
Jenna: How long until your balls get totally squished?
Richard: Hopefully never, I'm rather attached to my balls.
Jenna: Can they hang in there til five?

Lucy: OK, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van look from your face.

Matt: It doesn't matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my poprocks in the third grade.

Matt: You can't just turn back time, Jenna.
Jenna: Why not?