Dean: Billy there is a God and he loves me.
Billy: You're not going to shave your head are ya?
Dean: No.

Dean: What's the score Billy? I had my eyes closed.
Billy: 32-10.
Dean: Who's winning?
Billy: The guys with the 32.

Joey: I can't stop itching.
Joanna/Annie: Well, what do you expect when you go rolling in poison oak?

Joanna/Annie: You know forks were invented so that man could at least make a pretense of separating himself from the apes.
Dean: So were thumbs.
Joanna/Annie: What did you say?
Dean: Nothing. It was... my stomach.
Joanna/Annie: Well try to control your bodily noises so I can hear myself think!

Joanna/Annie's mom: But darling, if you have a baby, you won't be the baby anymore.

Joanna/Annie: I don't belong here, I feel it, don't you think I feel it! I can't do any of these vile things and I wouldn't want to. Oh, my life is like death! My children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil. Oh God!
Dean: But baby, we like you.

Joanna/Annie: You ... and the closet!
Dean: That's right. This is me and I'm standing in front of the closet.
Joanna/Annie: Something's familiar!
Dean: Yeah, well ... that's 'cause we used to do it in the closet.
Joanna/Annie: Oh stop with the sex stories!

Travis: Are you sure this is gonna work?
Charlie: My ideas always work. I'm gifted!
Travis: I loved it when you glued Joey to the toilet seat!

Dean: What could I possibly give you ... ever ... that you don't already have?
Joanna/Annie: A little girl.