Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Without warning, I will attack you. In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert. *attacks Ponton, but Ponton hits Clouseau* Good one.
Ponton: Thank you.

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Clouseau: It's true. My surprises, they are rarely unexpected.

Agent 006: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?
Inspector Clouseau: Yes! You are just one shot away from the big time.

French journalist: Inspector, was the killer a man or woman?
Inspector Clouseau: Of course it was. What else could it be, a kitten?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something.

Ponton: He was found dead.
Inspector Clouseau: Was it fatal?
Ponton: Yes.
Inspector Clouseau: How fatal?
Ponton: Um, completely.
Inspector Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!

Accent Expert: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen."
Accent Expert: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen."
Accent Expert: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen!"