Blanks: Kyle Blanks reporting for duty, sir!
Chief Hurst: Get away from me you asshole.
Blanks: Yes sir.
Chief Hurst: What do you say about that?
Commandant Lassard: That bitch. (about the mayor)
Commandant Lassard: My name is Comdnt. Lassard. Welcome to the new police force. Your training time here will last...
Lue. Harris: (mouths) 14 weeks.
Comdnt. Lassard: 14 weeks. You will be schooled in fire arms, police procedures, local laws, and many, many other things. After those 12 weeks, some of you will be police officers and some of you will not. Some of you will be - (dog comes up starts to hump his leg) - here at the academy, here at the academy you will learn...you will learn...
Barbara: Princess, Princess.
Comdnt Lassard: Princess? Looks more like a Prince to me.
Lue. Harris: Give me that dog.
Barbara: But he's mine sir.
Leu. Harris: He's a queer.
Harris: My name is Leu. Harris! In case you missed it. This is Sergent Callahan! In case you missed it. We are the meanest instructors here! We've got you because you are the worst people here! You people are the d-squad. D for dirtbags. When I say "hey dirtbags!" that means you. You people are going to hate my guts for the rest of your lives. I am going to make you sorry that you ever came here. Now it is traditional here at the academy for each squad to have two student squad leaders. I have chosen cadets Blanks and Copeland. Step out please. If these two cadets give an order, obey it. Now I thought it would be nice to close out our first afternoon together with a nice stroll around the campus.
Harris (shoepolish around his mouth): So far nobody has quit, but they will. (Lassard starts to laugh)
Harris: You make me sick.
Mahoney: Thank you sir. I make everybody sick.
Mahoney: Hey Thompson.
Thompson: Yeah.
Mahoney: Why do you want to be a cop?
Thompson: I like to dress like a man.
Mahoney: Me, too.
Harris: One down, several to go.
Tackleberry: It's time this cop meet the public.
Lassard: What's wrong with this man?
Spackler: There was gun play sir, and he missed it.
