Lola: This isn’t really going to be your last show, is it?
Garrison: Every show is your last show. That’s my philosophy.
Rhonda: Thank you, Plato.

Yolanda: How about just a moment of silence?
Garrison: Silence on the radio. I don’t know how that works.

Garrison: The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you’re wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I’m not?
Dangerous Woman: Why is that funny?
Garrison: I guess because people laugh at it.
Dangerous Woman: I’m not laughing.
Garrison: Well, you’re an angel.

Lola: What if you die some day?
Garrison: I will die.
Lola: Don’t you want people to remember you?
Garrison: I don’t want them to be told to remember me.

Dusty: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Lefty: What?
Dusty: That’s cute, but can you breathe through it?

Guy Noir: *narrating* the show had been on the air since Jesus was in the third grade.

Guy Noir: Look, I’m a man of the world like yourself. But these people, they’ve put their lives into this show.
Axeman: Well, now they can put their lives into something else. That’s the beauty of the world, there’s always something to put your life into.