Aunt Francis: For more than 200 years we Owens women have been blamed for everything that has ever gone wrong in this town.
Sally: Is that why people hate us much Aunt Francis?
Aunt Jet: They don't hate us sweetheart. We just make them a little nervous.

Aunt Jet: But with the sweets comes the sour.

Aunt Jet: Be careful what you wish for.

Aunt Jet: You see this couple here? He's having an affair with the babysitter and she can eat a pound cake under a minute.

Sally: He really loved my mint oatmeal shaving cream. He couldn't stop eatting eat.

(Gillian coming back and Aunt Jet offering her a brownie)
Aunt Jet: You've been away too long.

Mom #1: Is that a smake tattoo?
Mom #2: Yeah there's one on her boob too.

Aunt Francis: Yes, it's a very distinct smell. It's a smell of bullshit.

Aunt Jet: Broom fell company's coming.

Sally: One green eye, one blue.
Gary: Yeah, I was born with it.

Aunt Jet: There's a little witch in all of us.

Mom: I wonder if that'll work on my ex-husband?

Sally: What would you do Gillie?
Gillain: What wouldn't I do for the right guy?