Megan: You'll get a new heart and before you know it, you'll be back in your garden, you'll be painting... you'll be getting asked out by fantastic men.
Grace: I'm getting a new heart, not a new ass.

Angelo: She’s thanked God enough already, ok?
Marty: You’re going to be long while in purgatory, you are.
Angelo: Really? Well, I’ll be with friends.

Laura: Aunt Grace, are you ok?
Grace: Yeah. Whatever it was, it didn’t hurt.

Megan: I'm just saying, for safety, don't shave your legs, because then you definitely won't let it go too far.
Grace: Megan, it's a first date.
Megan: I married a first date. I'm sure you plan on being level-headed, but once you're in the moment, the male brain seems, I don't know, everything they say suddenly seems brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.
Grace: You should needlepoint that on a pillow.
Megan: Hey, all I know is that it kept me a virgin until... well, whenever.

Angelo: Sophie got a perm today. Scalp was still burning so she went home early.
Marty: Oh of course she did. Why did I ask. Will you go find yourself a gondola.

Megan: No stopping anywhere Joe. You come straight back here when you're done with them.
Joe: I'm going to stop at a lap dancing bar.
Megan: Oh that's so funny.

Marty: Ah, this guy you're talking about can't sing at all.
Angelo: Can't sing? Then how come he's got such a big band?
Wally: To drown him out.

Megan: Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!

Megan: "What do you expect most from a relationship? A: Companionship. B: Sex. C: Respect." I'd have to go with B: Sex. But let's mark "C" so we get a higher score. ...This is pathetic, I'm cheating on a magazine quiz.

Bob: No, Charlie, I just can't make it. I'm, uh, I'm watching the game. Cubs. What's the score? *fumbles frantically for the remote, which doesn't work; gives up* Uh, Cubs are losing.

Bob: Elizabeth and I were married by the time we were twenty and we'd been going out since we were fifteen so this may sound a bit juvenile but... can I hold your hand?

Bob: Would you go out with me?
Grace: Yes?
Bob: Is that a question?
Grace: No, it's a yes. Yes.
Bob: Tomorrow night?
Grace: Yes.
Bob: Eight o'clock?
Grace: Yes.
Bob: Pick you up here?
Grace: Yes.
Bob: My, you're a very difficult woman.

Bob: I miss Elizabeth. I'll always miss her. But I ache for Grace.

Marty to Bob: I know that what's happened has been overwhelming. And I know it's going to take a while to sort it all out. But while you're sorting, I want you to remember that all the times I prayed that Gracie would have a second chance at life, I always knew that if God blessed us, the heart she got would have to be from a very special person, if it were going to be at home in Grace. When she met you, her heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always.