Cheryl to Viola: Chew like your telling a secret.

Monique to Andrew: Girls with asses like mine, do not talk to boys with faces like yours.

Viola: Sorry mom, I have a strict "No Ruffles" policy.

Coach Pistonek: I'm afraid you'll have to forfeit. No girls allowed. Read the rulebook.
Coach Dinklage: What rulebook? *tears the rulebook in half* Here at Illiriya, we don't discriminate based on gender!

*After getting hit with a soccer ball in the crotch*
Viola as Sebastian: Oh.. right. OWWWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!!!!!

Toby: I need your advice man. I got lady troubles.
Viola as Sebastian: I'm here for you bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge.

Olivia: We could double. I'm sure Eunice is available.
Eunice: I am so there, it's insane.

Malcolm: I swear he's a she.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, I have had a talk with him and I assure you he is 100% red-blooded male just like you and me.
Viola: *on phone with mom* Fine mom. No I will not wear high heels. Because they were a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and so they can't run away.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No.
Principal Gold: It's no that easy.

Roger: Is it me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?

Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me but when Sebastian likes her she's hot. No, screw you guys. I hate high school.

Duke: It's just like Coach says before every game: 'Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them.' I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.

Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.

Viola: You know what? If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.

Viola: Hi, Eunice. Sorry for running out on our date.
Eunice: It's okay. My intensity scares some people.