Ben: I am thinking she is a virgin. Or at least she used to be.

Newton Crosby: Where are you from, anyway?
Ben: Bakersfield, originally.
Newton Crosby: No, I mean your ancestors.
Ben: Oh, them. Pittsburgh.

Stephanie: Life is NOT a malfunction!

Ben: I don't know about you, but I am planning to scream and run.

Ben: I am standing here beside myself.