Viktor: Creative differences? The difference is you're not creative. *to limo driver* To hell, please.

Viktor: Elaine, do you know what these are?
Elaine: Mike 'n' Ike's?
Viktor: No, these aren't any Mike 'n' Ike's. These are cherry Mike 'n' Ike's. Do you know why, I Viktor Taransky, two-time academy award nominated director...
Elaine: Viktor that was short subject.
Viktor: ...overseeing the most cherished movie project of my entire career am walking around with -- look, look, look pockets full of these thing?!
Elaine: I have a feeling you're going to tell me.
Viktor: I'm going to tell. Why, because Ms. Nicola Anders, supermodel with a SAG card, has it written in her contravt that all cherry Mike 'n' Ike's be removed from her candy dish, along with strict intructions that any room she walks into must have seven packs of cigarettes waiting for her, three of them opened. That there be a personal jacuzzi within 80 paces of her dressing room, and that anytime she travels, her nanny must fly with her first class.
Elaine: So what's wrong with that?
Viktor: Elaine, she doesn't have children. Don't you see? They're mocking us Elaine. They're mocking -- we're at their mercy. What happened? I mean we always had movie stars, but they used to be our stars, remember? We were the ones who would tell them what to do and we would tell them what to wear, who to date.
Elaine: That's what you want?
Viktor: When they were under contract to us, we could change their names if we wanted to. More than once.

Viktor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I know I may be guilty of a crime, but it was committed with the purest of intentions. I wanted to send a message to the acting community who... put themselves above the work, who put themselves above me.

Lainey: She's a miracle dad. Where did you find her?
Viktor: I saw her picture... on a computer.

Viktor: *answering about who Hank is* They were at one time inseperable.
Reporter guy: and now?
Viktor: Now, sadly to say only in spirit.

Viktor: Simone appears only when I want her to appear.

Viktor: She considers herself an... instrument.

Viktor/Simone: You're going to get in a lot of trouble, Mr. Taransky.

Reporter guy: *trying to really, really find Simone with satellites* Nothing from space!

Viktor: *the studio executives come into the set to find the computers and not Simone in sight* She's a computer... addict. She's a computer addict! She's buired in here day in, day out.

*Simone won Oscars for both her movies*
Elaine: Who's Hank? Her agent?
Viktor: Her father.
Lainey: Why didn't she thank you?
Viktor: She did. Didn't she?
Elaine: No.

Viktor: I'm going to tell you a secret now, Elaine. Simone isn't a real person. I invented her.
Elaine: Every actor is an invention, Viktor, please. Look you're lucky she's loyal enough to stay with you. Maybe she's staying out of pity. Who knows? She certainly doesn't need you Viktor.
Viktor: Listen, she's thin air. She's pixtels.
Elaine: What?
Viktor: Computer code, molded by me from a mathematical equation I inherited from a mad man.
Elaine: How much have you had to drink Viktor?
Viktor: There's no Simone. I'm Simone.
Elaine: You're Simone?
Viktor: I've done the impossible. I have recreated the infinite nuances of a human being - a human soul. I have taken nothing and made it something. I have breathed life into a machine. I made a miracle.
Elaine: Viktor, please stop. Please.
Viktor: I swear, Elaine. As God is my judge, I swear I made Simone. I made her.
Elaine: You made Simone?
Viktor: Yes.
Elaine: Viktor, she made you.

Viktor: You bitch. I'll destroy you.

Viktor: You made me. I made you first.

Simone: I just think all elementary schools should have a firing range. How else can the children learn how to defend themselves.

Simone: If there is a hole in the ozone layer, how come I can't see it?

Simone: Immigration? God! Isn't it crowded enough?

Simone: But God created furry animals to be worn.

Simone: Have you ever tasted dolphin? Pan-fried with a little garlic and fennel?

Simone: Everybody talks about the negatives of cigarettes, but look at the benefits. I mean, you don't eat as much and you've got something to hold in your hand.

Viktor: She killed you hank, now she's killing me. She's a serial killer. But I don't know how to stop her. I mean, she's taken on a life of her own.

*Press conference after Viktor pulled the computer plug or gave Simone a plague*
Viktor: It is my sad and solemn duty...to announce... the tragic passing of Simone.
Reporter: How did she die?
Viktor: It was a rare virus she contracted on her Goodwill Tour of the Third World.
Reporter guy: Did she suffer?
Viktor: Mercifully, it was quick.

Hal: *about the coffin* That's why it was so light.

Elaine: There's no evidence that Simone isn't real.
Lainey: Listen to what you're saying, mom. I mean. is there any evidence that she is?

Lainey: One part of dad's story may have been true. Simone may have contracted a virus.

Viktor: *in jail after hearing that Simone "isn't" dead after all* She's indestructible.

Simone: *talking to Frank* Viktor and I are both very concerned about what kind of world our new son, Chip, is going to grow up in.