Dave: You know, "A Woman's face with nature's own hand painted, has thou, the master-mistress of my passion."
Girl: I heard you drive a beemer.
Dave: *looks down at the dog* Ahhh...bad dog.

Guys: *chanting when girl exits Adam's room* The girl was fair who went upstairs with her favorite KOK. She knocked around and came back down, and now she takes the walk. The walk of shame - she's not to blame. Who could resist the KOK. The walk of shame, she found her fame and now she takes the walk!

Doofer: *explaining to Adam and Dave after being kicked out of the house* Well, I just finished studying for some school when I noticed Adam's speaker was tipped over. On the floor was a little video camera rigged to a motion detector. I noticed that its input cable had come loose, so I carefully traced it to its source. It led to a metal footlocker at the bottom of Adam's closet. Which was, you know, already unlocked. Inside, I found a video cassette recorder. Well, naturally, since it was his private property, I didn't touch anything.

Doofer: I pledged 20 minutes ago man. *about the D.O.G house*

Doofer: Oh my god man! Look at this little handbog. This'll go perfect with my shoesies.

Doofer: My name is Roberta and I'm addicted to porn and I masterbate constantly.

Doofer: Oh my giant. My gentle giant.

Doofer: *gets kicked in his balls* I want my giant.

Patty: What did you call me?
Tri Pi: Chickenshit.
Patty: No, after that.
Tri Pi: Scatchswatch.
Patty: No, before that.
Tri Pi: Freak.
Patty: Thanks.