John: I thought that was a dog around your neck.

John: Ma'am, perhaps you would like to eat your luggage.

John: Ma'am, I'm sure there are a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.

Russell: Yes, you speak some English.
Foreign guy: Son of bitch. Shit.

John: You can't go. All the plants are going to die!

John: I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.
Russell: You still have your health.

Russell: No. We are not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.
John: Yeah. Will they send us someplace special?

Ox: *to Stella and Louise* Excuse me, stewerdise is there a movie on this flight?

Russell: I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

Sgt. Hulka: Son there ain't no draft no more.
Cruiser: There was one?

Sgt. Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.
John: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.

Sgt. Hulka: How does it sound to you mister?
John: I think it sucks.

General Barnicke: Are you telling me that you men finished your training on your own?
John: That's a fact, Jack!
Soldiers: That's a fact, Jack!

John: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia! We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again! We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia! It's like we're going into Wisconsin.
Cruiser: I guess we're going after John and Russell. I can't believe they're Russian spies. Can you?
Psycho: All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.