Walt: What's a four-letter word for snatch?
Bob: Grab.
Walt: Oh... right. Whoopsie.

Cher to her young lover: Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning.

Bob: We're not siamese. We're American.

Doctor 1: I'm afraid... we lost them. *girls gasp and begin to cry*
Doctor 2: *enters* It's okay, they'd been taken up to the top floor. We found them.

Walt: Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself, *whispering* masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.
Bob: What are you talking about?
Walt: Oh, please, last night it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.

Rocket: *Bob is doing a bad job of cooking burgers by himself* Hey Bob, get the lead out of your ass!
Bob: Hey, up yours, Rocket!
Rocket: *sarcastically* Oh, Nice Comeback.

Walt: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
April: Tit?
Walt: No, I've tried that already.

Morty: If you do this your committing career suicide.
Walt: That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".
Morty: You're shitting me. He quit?

Walt: Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?
Dave: Got it. How about you there, Bob?
Bob: No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.