Voice: There's someone in here.
Christina: Sorry.
Voice: It might be a while.
Christina: How long?
Voice: Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick!
Courtney: Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?

Christina: Ew! What is that?
Courtney: What is what?
Christina: You don't smell that?
Courtney: Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Christina: Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!
Courtney: I don't smell anything!
Christina: It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!
Courtney: Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.
Christina: You did!
Courtney: I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!

Courtney: How could you not know what a glory hole is?
Christina: Well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockcliff, I don't usually spend much time in men's public bathrooms.

Courtney: Oh, you know, the usual. Defending the rights of my broken hearted clients and try to squeeze every single penny out of their miserable cheating spouses.

Courtney: Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true, which means, you do wanna go to this wedding but you are too afraid to admit it. So, by making some sort of joke about it, you get to say what you really want without being vulnerable.