Gardener: Hey your hat is fabulous, Mrs. Nefler.
Phylis: Thank you so is yours.

Freddy: You had so much potential, such energy. You were so creative. I couldn't wait to see what you would do with it. And now I know what you did with it. You went shopping!
Phylis: Hey I went shopping, buster, to furnish your perfect house, to build your perfect image, to be your perfect Beverly Hills wife!

Tessa: Daddy, my theropist (sp?) would say you're defenitley blocking reality.

Claire: Come on mom, I'm not just a kid on TV. I'm one in real life. I want to do something normal for a change, ok?
Claire's mom: Normal with Phylis running the show? That's highly bloody unlikely.

Phylis: I got a black belt in shopping.

Phylis: He's a shit, but he's a cute shit.

Phylis: IN the wilderness of life we can never be to prepaired.

Phylis: It was a cold, rainy day in March. I went to Kristov's where I usually get my hair done, but Kristov had mysteriously disappeared and in his place was a stranger named, Renaldo. I'll never forget him, his eyes were stealy gray, very cold, and his hands were like ice. He said, "I'll streak your hair and I'll give you a body wave." He worked very fast and then as he turned my chair around to face the mirror, I saw it. HE PERMED ME!!
Girls: AWWWWWW! Ew, ew.

Velda: Where is your leader?
Lily: You can torture me, but I'll never talk.

Phylis: Ok, so I'm not perfect.

Leo: You don't buy them, you have to earn them.
Phylis: Right like jewlery.

Lisa: Damn it, throw me a life savor.
Phylis: No problem. Butterscotch or wintergreen?

Phylis: So what do you do for fun? Do you have a boyfriend?
Annie: Well, that depends what you mean by a boyfriend. If you mean a man I go out with...no. If you mean a boy that's just a friend...no.

Cheech: Are you related to Pee-Wee Herman?

Velda: I'm warning you Nefler. Someody's going to get hurt and it's going to be all your fault.

Phylis: I lost my will to shop.
Claire's mom: Phylis, that's not funny.