Fez: In my country still I would string you to the tallest tree.
Hyde: We're not in your country Fez.
Fez: Right. Good luck with Donna.

Fez: If you hate the fuze on your ass, why don't you shave it off.

Kitty: All families are embarrassing. If they aren't embarrassing they're dead.

Hyde: I can't wait. My favorite place anywhere but here.

Kelso: Guess who just made out with Pam Macy?
Eric: Everyone.

Eric: Thanks for letting me drive home.
Red: Thanks for not killing me.

Kitty: Oh that's nice. That's music to a mothers ear.

Red: This isn't going to work. We're going to kill each other.
Kitty: Fine kill each other. Just do it together.

Red: It's not about the money. It's about the rules. Without rules, we might as well all sit up in a tree and fling crap at each other.

Hyde: Why don't you two get a room.
Eric: We have a room Hyde, it's my basement.

Red: Leisure suits are for dumb asses.

Kitty: Sex, it's not dirty.
Red: It's not clean either.

Hyde: Yeah on the plus side, you walk into a liqure store carring a baby, man, they'll sell you beer.

Donna: Jackie you're a sophmore. How could you do this?
Jackie: Heloo, I'm a sophmore.

Red: Be responsibly for your own faults.
Kelso: Oh yeah, that's real easy for you to say!
Red: That kid's on dope.

Donna: Jackie I went on the pill.
Jackie: Oh my God. You are going to be so popular.

Fez: I am so sad for you. Can I please have her phone number?

Fez: May I cut the cheese?

Red: Do I look like a carborator?

Hyde: Irony, far out.

(After his dad tried to explain what he does.)
Kelso: I'm just going to say you're a farmer.

Donna's dad: Migets make money. I don't know why, but whenever someone sees a miget they buy something.

Red as Obi-Wan: Jedi Knight, phhh, Jedi Jackass.

(All four parents seeing Star Wars.)
Donna's mom: Is this a true story?

Red: What are you going to put on your reseme? Dumb ass?

Hyde: It does not look like a pot leaf. It looks like a hand giving the finger.

Red: Kitty that's nonsense. The kids not on drugs. He's just...weird.

Hyde about Jackie: Oh she's nuts.
Fez: I know you are not fat.

Hyde: Kelso no offence, but you sound like a chick.
Kelso: Man I do.

Kitty: Eric your father and I have noticed how strange you've been acting.
Red: Are you on dope?

Red: What the hell happened to Bob's hair?
Eric: Beats me.
Red: He looks like a poodles ass.

Fez: Hyde you're right about Disco music, it is evil.

Fez: Someone go make toast right now!

Hyde: Disco is from hell. Not the cool part of hell with the murderers, but the lame part with all the accountants.

Eric: That's brilliant man! I'm getting the tape recorder.

Hyde: You saw a keg of beer and didn't say anything? Back of the line!

Kelso: I'm good looking and he's jealous. I'm telling you Jackie, this body is a curse.

Hyde: We were put on a farm here by aliens and we're cattle man! We're cattle!

Eric: Ever since yesterday I can't stop thinking about you. I want you. I want you so bad.

Fez: Don't resist me, Mama. It's boogie time.

Kitty: A car is not a bedroom on wheels.

Jackie: I have to go to the bathroom. Donna!

Fez: Can I see your giant tongue?

Hyde: Man my favorite gift is cash.

Jackie: You know what is both thoughtful and sentimental? Diamonds.

Kitty: Well, you can't have a christmas party without punch! That's just insanity!

Eric: I haggled.
Laure: From who? Smokey the bear?

Jackie: Hyde, if you want to make-out with me the answer is probably no.

Donna: Eric why's your grandma sleeping in the car?
Eric: She's not sleeping, she's dead.

Fez: So where were we? Oh yes, you were picking me up.

Kitty: When the timer goes off, one of you better take the roast out of the oven or there will be hell to pay.

Fez: Oh my God, there's a body in here.

Fez: I'm so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fez man, it's Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.
Hyde: Hey Forman, man, this thing better be good. if I don't see some space jugs I'm going to be super pissed.
Eric: Oh hey guys, I heard it was ok.
Kelso: Well, there is no way it's better than the Planet of the Apes. I mean those apes were really good actors.

Eric: And then they go into this bar and theres all these space creatures and then someone makes a mistake about picking on Obi-Wan Kenobi and then he takes out his lightsaber and he goes whoosh and chops the guys arm right off cause it's a saber made out of light.
Kitty: Well you know this doesn't sound like a nice movie. Now the Way We Were, that's a nice movie.
Laurie: So Eric are you going to get some Star Wars pajamas now?

Kelso: So Jackie you want to go see Star Wars tonight?
Jackie: Now Michael I told you I don't like space.

Kelso: Star Wars is a limited engagement.

Laurie: I'm bored.
Kelso: If you're bored you should go see Star Wars.

Kelso: Once again what's her name and I are back together.

Hyde: See this is why your country lost the war.
Fez: My country never fough a war.
Hyde: Yeah big surprise.

Kelso: I mean Leia right. She acted like she was mad at Han, but I could tell she liked him.
Hyde: Kelso man what are you an idiot? Leia likes Luke. She kissed him on that bridge.
Kelso: Ah phh just for luck.

Jackie: You guys just got to come over to the dark side.
Fez: They have free food.

Jackie: So what do you want to do tonight? Oh and if you say Star Wars again I'm leaving.
Kelso: You don't want to leave, you want to see Star Wars.
Jackie: Stop it, you are weird and I'm going home.

Fez: Oh no Dick Tracy got trapped in a giant clam. So long Dick.

Fez: You are a bitch. (to Kelso)

Kelso: Cartoons make me horny. Oh and food.

Kelso: That's a major burn!

Fez: I've noticed Red is a real hard ass.

Kitty: Well, that must have been quite an accident. Was he killed?

Jackie: I want it to be really, really special.
Donna: How can it not without a gigantic banner?
Jackie: Exactly.

Officer: You get one phone call.
Fez: Anywhere?

Kitty: Well, honey you took away his car. He has to walk everywhere.

Bob: Married woman do not abandon their familes.
Donna: Sure they do dad. It's the 70's.

Red: Ok what kind of feature are you looking for?
Lady: Something cold.

Hyde: If God wanted us to walk he wouldn't have given us Forman.

Fez: With a car like that you must e knee deep with whores.

Kelso: Who cares I'm tired and i never want to walk again.
Jackie: Michael walk me home.
Kelso: Ok.

Kelso: You have both your legs Frank.
Frank: Like I said. I did not loose a leg in Vietnam to serve kids.

Kelso: Where's your mom?
Eric: SHUT UP! DON'T YOU DEAR TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER!

Fez: My friend and I would like a sponge bath now.

All the guys: Kelso did it!!

Bob: Theropy that's for crazy's.

Midge: I think I'm going to like theropy.

Hyde: Well, see there Bob. You're on your own.
Fez: See how you drive people away.

Jackie: Look Michael Kelso and I had beautiful sex.
Donna: Eww. No wait. No, ew.

Wrestler: I give, and I give, and I give.
Red: Boo hoo. Get back in the ring.

Red: I am not Santa Clause.
Kitty: Well, thank God you're not Santa Clause. You'd scare away the children.

Fez: You use to be my hero.

Hyde: Give me a breal Forman. I just lost my mommy.

Donna: Excuse me Jackie, when did you lose your soul?
Jackie: Cheerleading camp.

Red: I could have had a corvette.

Eric: He's not an orphan, his mom abandoned him.

Kitty to Laurie: You get in the basement.

Fez: Ah oh. Ths van won't be rocking.

Lady: Hey those sideburns?
Hyde: Since eigth grade.

Red: For God's sakes, don't let Donna suck you neck.

Fez: Excuse me, can I please have a hikey please?

Laurie: Give me a reason for me not to set you on fire?

Eric: Well, whatever you taught, she flunked it.

Midge: Looks like you're going shopping with the big ass.

Eric: She's stupid and evil. Mostly stupid.

Hyde: God, you're nobile.

Jackie: Michael I told you. I don't like Texans.

Fez: Free candy?

Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch.

Jackie: Out of my way?
Kelso: I didn't say that.
Jackie: Yes you did. Right before you knocked her over.

Fez: All right. Nobody move. Somebody took my last box of sugar babies. Oh wait, I was sitting on them.

Midge: Kitty and I watched the soaps all the time. Now it's like you're Kitty.

Eric: Oh this is the worst Vanstock ever.

Fez: Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to cuddle.

Kitty: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie: No. I was hoping to just get by on my looks.

Kelso: The truth is out there, man, it's out there.

Hyde: Okay. Alright. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Kelso: (laughing) Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Hyde: I bled. I didn't cry.
Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled AND you cried.
Hyde: And you laughed, man! A lot! While I was bleeding! ... You see my point?
Kelso: Yeah: it's funny when friends get hurt.
Hyde: Close enough.

Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she's going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I'm talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I'm not even from here, and I got it.

Hyde: I read somewhere that people in India fast, man. And, that it makes them think better. And, sometimes they can actually think themselves to death, man.
Kelso: I wonder if that's what I'm doing right now? Sometimes my brain is doing things that I don't even know about!
Eric: Man, we think of some great stuff down here! But, later on I can never remember it.

Laurie is going out
Kitty: Who with?
Laurie: Doctors and Stock holders.

Red: Oh holy hell.

Kitty: No we don't know.
Red: Trust me we know.
Kitty: No, no we don't know what they did.
Laurie: I know, I know.

Red: You're a helpless idiot.

Eric: So are we ok now?
Kitty: Oh honey, no!

Kelso: I love her.
Fez: Yeah, but you don’t deserve her you son of a bitch.
Kelso: What did you say?
Fez: I said good cheese puff, you son of a bitch.

Red: That works. That time we told you when…
Kitty: Shhh.

Fez: My cheesie Puff has become my enemy.

Kelso: I miss Jackie
Eric: I know!

Red: We took him into our home. We treated him like our son.
Eric: Treated him better than your own son.

(Red's dream the way he thinks they're doing pot)
Fez: Here's the new shipment from where the hell I am from.

Jackie: Guess who?
Hyde: It's either Jackie or the cold hands of death.

Donna: Have you all of a sudden becme the stupidest man ever?

Fez: Kiss my brown ass.

Red: He's doper.
Kitty: Hey you say that like it's a bad thing.

Kitty: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie: No. I was hoping to just get by on my looks.

Hyde: They should've X-rayed your head at the hospital.
Kelso: They did. And for your information, they found nothing.

Bob: Now be a good girl and sneak out some of them Jordan almonds for Daddy, okay?
Donna: No Dad, those are for the feminists!