Vicki: I'm going steady, and I french kiss.
Audrey: So? Everyone does it.
Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

Aunt Edna: You were the one's who sent me the fruit cake for christmas. It made me sick.
Ellen: Oh, I'm sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruit cake.
Aunt Edna: You enjoy throwing up every 5 minutes, Claud.

Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie?

Clrak: The moose says you're closed, I say you're open.