Clark: What can I do with 5 dollars?
Blackjack Dealer: Gee, I don't know. Buy a bullet and rent a gun? Hahaha!

Blackjack Dealer: Why don't you give me half the money you were going to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts and we'll call it a day!

Clark: Eddie, don't you worry about radiation?
Cousin Eddie: All I know, Clark, is that my teeth have never been whiter, and my garden's spittin' out 50 pound tomatoes!

Cousin Eddie: I keep tellin' him he's gonna pierce himself shut one day, but what can you do? The boy likes eatin' through a straw!