Donna: You're breaking up with me... in a birthday card? Why?
Tommy: Well, they don't make breaking up cards.

Donna (vo): I left my job at Big Lots and thought about becoming an alcoholic. Just kidding.

Sally: No matter where you're from, no matter who people think you are, you can be whatever you want. But you got to start right now.
Donna: But how?
Sally: You should start by buying my book.

Sierra boss: We fly gamblers and drunks.
Donna: Right. Well, I want to provide those gamblers and drunks with the best service in the sky.

Pilot Steve: I'm a pilot. It's my job to know where people are going.

Christine: Yeah, well, it's my trademark. That and my hickeys.

John: You two will be staying in dorm...C. That's fun one.

John: Now what did we learn from this exercise? We learned you have to get off of your ass to make a buck.

John: You put the wrong em-pha-sis on the wrong syl-lable.

Donna: Cleveland is like this great, big, giant waiting room.

Christine: I never stabbed you in the back.
Donna: You switched our exams.
Christine: Well, if you're going to nitpick.

Sally: Donna, did I ever tell you about a nasty habit that flight attendants pick up on the job?
Donna: No.
Sally: We learn to always keep smiling, even when we're out of Bloody Mary mix.

Sally: And to remind you, the last person off of the plane has to clean it.