Bob: There are two types of people in this world. People who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.

Bob: Baby steps.

Bob: what if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one...and my bladder explodes?

Convenient store lady: That son of a bitch.
Husband: She never says that.

Leo: Why are you always wearing black? What is it with you and this death fixation?
Sigmund: Maybe I’m in mourning for my lost childhood.

Leo: All's I want is some peace and quiet!
Bob: Okay I'll be quiet.
Siggy: And I'll be peace!

Leo: He faked suicide.
Faye: Isn’t that a cry for help.

Dr. Leo Marvin: You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole point! He's never gone!
(Leo opens the door; there's Bob.)
Bob Wiley: Is this some radical new therapy?
Dr. Leo Marvin: YOU SEE?!?!

Bob: Roses are red/Violets are blue/I’m a schizophrenic/and so am I

Bob: What are you doing with the gun, Dr. Marvin?
Leo: Death Therapy, Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.

(Leo is strapping a bomb to Bob)
Leo: This is black powder, Bob. A teaspoon of it can blow up a tree stump.
Bob: How much you got there?
Leo: Twenty pounds.

Leo: You understand right? There's no other solution. You won't go away.
Bob: Yes I will.
Leo: No you won't. You're just saying you will, so that when I don't kill you, you'll show up again and make everyone else in my life think you are wonderful and I'm a shmuck. But I'm not a shmuck Bob, and I'm not going to let you breeze into town and steal my family away just because you're crazy enough to be fun.