Richard Levy to Tad: *about the Enquirer article* Congratulations. You're actually drinking, driving, smoking, leering and groping at the same time.

Pete: *about the contest* Heaven is just a mouse click away.

Pete to Rosalee: Tad Hamilton is an actor. How do you know he's not acting with you?

Tad: Yeah, Pete told me if I ever hurt you; that he would tear me to pieces with his bare hands or with his vicious rhetoric.
Rosalee: Pete told you if you hurt me, he would tear you to pieces with his bare hands or with his vicious rhetoric? That is so... adorable.

Rosalee: Yikes-a-bee.

Rosalee: You have five smiles Pete. One when you think someone an idiot. One when you think someone's REALLY an idiot. One when you're singing to Barry White. One when you're getting all dressed up. And one when you're looking at me.

Angelica: Well is it love, big love, or great love?
Pete: What do you mean?
Angelica: Well, love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and great love, well great love... changes your life. So which one is it? *Pete just takes a big gulp out of his drink.* Oh my god, it's great love.
Pete: Yeah, that just great.

Rosalee: What did you want to ask me?
Pete: Oh it was nothing, it was nothing really. No, wait a minute, I remember what I was going to say. *Pete kisses Rosalee* Rosie, I'm in love with you.

Pete: Rosie, there something I want to ask you... *Tad walks into the breakroom* What is the worst thing that could happen to me right now?

Rosalee to Tad: Do you think it is possible to love someone your entire life and never realize it?

Pete: I'm telling you, she is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She is not just some wholesome, small town girl, some like, good for you breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy only sees once, you know? Once! So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please, just for her sake, walk away man.
Tad: I could never break Rosalee's heart, ok?
Pete: Good. Because if you do I swear to God I will tear you to pieces with my bare hands. Or vicious rhetoric.
Tad: You're a good guy Pete.
Pete: Well yes. Apparently not good enough.

Pete: I cannot remember a time... BEFORE you started telling that story.
Rosalee: I was asked to provide a detailed explanation of the evening.
Pete: And you did, Rosie, you really did. I really felt like I was there... sort of against my will.

Rosalee: They also said that in first class you may personally view the film of your choice.
Cathy: All right. I would like to touch intimately the person who thought of that.

Rosalee: Your standing films will time and test themselves.
Tad: Thank you.

Henry: Sometimes Goliath kicks the shit out of David. It's just nobody bothers to tell that story.

Tad to Rosalee: What happened here tonight was a force of nature. Two people set out to be friends, but nature would have none of it. Nature wanted them to be more and nature's going to want that tomorrow.