Corey: So, according to this, we're in Goblin Valley. Great. I mean, I mean, I mean... it couldn't be Happy Valley or Wonderful Valley. Goblin Valley. Why not, Axe Murderer's Valley?

Putnam: All right, I'm looking for a couple of kids. This one's a mental case, have you seen them?
Pinball Teen: Does he dress like you?
Putnam: No.
Pinball Teen: Then he can't be too much of a case, all right?

Haley: Aaaaaaaah! He touched my breast! *pointing at Putnam*

Jimmy: California.

Sam: Hey where the hell are we? *eats a donut*
Nick: What is that? Donuts?
Sam: Yeah. So?
Nick: That's disgusting.
Sam: Ha ha. From the guy who steals my pickup, who stays up drinking. From the guy with a foul mouth, that's a compliment.

Corey: Two tickets to California.
Bus Clerk: Do you have someplace specific in mind or do you just want to be dumped off at the border?
Corey: Is Los Angeles specific enough?

Haley: Hi, I'm Haley. If you don't tell me what you're doing, I'm going to scream.
Corey: Could you scream quietly?
Haley: What do you think I'm stupid?

Corey: Where are we?
Haley: Does it matter? We're broke.
Corey: Oh yeah you're telling me! You're the one with all the trucker friends, the one who knows all the codes.
Haley: I got you this far, didn't I?
Corey: Oh, I don't even know where "this" is!
Haley: A lot of faith you got.
Corey: Oh will you stop Haley? I mean we don't have any money. Aren't you just a little scared?
Haley: I don't get scared! Now give me the four bucks you're holding out on.
Corey: What?
Haley: You flashed 21, you stashed four from the change at lunch. They didn't get it because you put it in your shorts. Now dish it up!
Corey: You're getting awful personal you know.

Sam: *after bumping his truck into Putnam's car* Sorry about that!
Putnam: WOODS! You maniac! I'm gonna sue! Ya hear me? I'm gonna SUE your ass when this is over!
Sam: You make money off of little kids, you miserable jerk! YA OUGHTA BE SHOT!