JURASSIC PARK 3

2001

If you're the kind of person that needs to see this story told for the THIRD time, then maybe you'll enjoy this version. Basically, the outline is the same as for the others. Take a group of people (in this case led by two of the dumbest and most irresponsible parents ever put on film,) get them to "THE ISLAND," and then set a bunch of dinosaurs loose. The bad guys and the ugly guys will always die first! The thin thread of a story proceeds from one "scream-moment" to the next. The big mystery of this version is why a good actor like William H. Macy would sign on as the father. Teo Leoni, playing the mother, would play the rear end of a cow if it got her screen time! Here she plays Fay Wray in "King Kong," screaming more than she speaks. Perhaps that's a blessing. Even the special effects no longer seem as startling as they first did, probably because we've seen these same computer-graphics dinosaurs on every thing from the Discovery Channel to commercials for yeast infection!!!

2 Stars

NJB

With Spielberg having handed over the reigns ot the Jurassic Park series to director Joe Johnston, I was hoping that Joe would have done the one thing that actually could've saved this franchise: made it darker, scarier, and gorier. Instead, I think he just watched the original and decided to re-do it in his own less-than-clever style. Make no mistake, there is no reason to see this movie. I really thought we had gotten good closure with the second installment. How they got William H. Macy, Tea Leoni and Sam Neill to do this stinker could probably only be answered by the size of their paychecks. There is some decent action when the team first gets to the island, but then its pretty much melodrama and weak chase scenes with some raptors mixed in. Oh, but the raptors talk in this one. Interesting twist, huh? I'm pretty sure that Jurassic Park 4 has the dinosaurs discovering how to make their own firearms and then in Jurassic Park 5 the dinosaurs and humans join forces to fight aliens. Does anyone smell dino doodoo?

1.5 Stars

CDF