Chapter Forty One
Breaking Inside




"Sir"

"Yes?"

Crossing his arms domineeringly over his chest, 6 foot 4, 300 pound Ron stepped in front of the young blond and glared at him supremely "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Gulping, the young boy reached into his collar and pulled out a pass.

Slightly squinting so that he could verify the authenticity of the object, he hesitantly lay off and gave the boy a skeptical glance "Go ahead" he mumbled underneath his breath.

A bit frightened by the brick wall of a security guard standing behind him, the young blond made a quick run for his life. "Whoa" he awed, making his way down the majestic hall. He still couldn't bring himself to believe how suddenly his life had changed. Two weeks ago, he was sitting back home in Philly, watching re-runs of Fresh Prince, and now, here he was about to open for the biggest group in the world! Life sure could be funny some times...

"Yeah, Ok- Tell A.J I'll be there in a second..."

Hearing a voice, he immediately spun around "Holy shit!" he gasped, as the tall brunette wized by him.

Alyssa's ears pricked at the sound of the sacrament, and she spun around to arrive face to face with a cute blonde teen boy. Thinking he might be a fan, she extended her arm and cordially introduced herself "Hey, I'm Lyss. Nice to meet you"

"Hey, I'm Rick. Rick Mclaughlin. I'm going to be opening along side you for The Backstreet Boys"

"Wha- You're the new act? I didn't even know we were getting a new act..." Alyssa said, quite confused by the boys claim.

Trying not to stutter, Rick nervously answered that he was taking Aaron Carter's place, since he was now opening for Britney Spears.

"Oh Ok" Lyss accepted, not wanting to waste any more time "Well I'm sorry I can't stay and present you to the gang, but if I don't meet up with my boyfriend in about, ooh, 5 seconds, I'm a dead woman"

Rick chuckled tensely "That's Ok" he grinned.

"Catch ya later" Alyssa hollered as she jogged off.

Smiling contentedly, Rick reached under his luggage to get a better hold on it. Meeting Alyssa made him realize one thing: After today, he was gonna be a star!


**Later**


Exhasperated, Kevin plopped down on the big cushy couch in his dressing room, and let out an enormous sigh. He had completely forgotten to tell the others about the benefit dinner they had been invited to this evening. They only had one show to do today, and it was an afternoon performance! He couldn't just ask them to give up their precious moment of leisure in exchange for mingling with a bunch of snobs.

"Well they don't all have to come" Naila reasoned, applying her make up in front of the mirror as she prepared herself for her show "You'll be there, along with me. Most likely Howie and Dawn... How many more do you need?"

Kevin shook his head "No, we have a new album coming out. We all have to be there. It's free exposure" moaning, he took his head in between his hands and closed his eyes. "Shit"

Smiling, Naila came up behind him and slowly began to message his tense shoulders "Baby" she purred "Don't stress yourself over something like this. It's not the end of the world"

Kevin let out a grunt at the touch of his lovers soft hands "Baby, you always know just what to say"

"I'm gonna ask the girls if they wanna come too. If I can get Lyss to come, A.J will surely tag along"


**Not Long After**


Peeping over his shoulder, Nick triple checked to insure he was not being followed. He rapidly stepped onto the bus, and walked by the bunk area when he felt a hand grab his knee cap. "Oh, there you are" he smiled, immediately proceeding to crawl into the restricted sleeping quarters.

"Hey" I whispered, wrapping my arms adoringly around his neck and kissing him deeply.
I'd left his room early this morning to avoid being spotted, and we hadn’t seen each other since. Just a second apart can feel like eternity when it comes to the one you love.

Nick gingerly pulled himself away from her lips as she made herself more comfortable. With her back against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her petite frame and placed his chin on the of her shoulder. Planting soft butterfly kisses on her neck, Eli began to giggle.

"Quit it" I laughed, tensioning the muscles in my neck to keep him from tickling me.

"Don't think so" he chuckled, his fingers rapidly making their way all over my body.

"No-please- can't breathe" I laughed hysterically as he tickled my side mercilessly.
"Uncle!Uncle!"

Finally stopping, he gave me a sly grin as he watched me regain my breath "Any one ever tell you how cute you look when you squirm?"

"You dork" I said, blushing. Looking down at my watch, I gasped "Yikes! I gotta go get ready"

As I rolled out of the bunk, Nick grabbed me by the hook of my jeans "What? Baby, I really have to go" I told him desperately.

"No, I know" he said, coming out after me "I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me to this thing Kevin just ask me to go to tonight?"

"A thing Kevin wants you to go to?" I repeated, pointing out just how unclear his question had been.

"Oh, you know what I mean" he snapped playfully. "So, will you come?"

He gave me the sad puppy dog look, and I just couldn't help but melt. "Alright, I'll come" I mumbled, giving in.
He thanked me by planting a juicy kiss on my cheek, before running off hoping the others hadn't noticed he'd left.


**Meanwhile**


"But I don't wanna go to a stupid piece of shit banquet" A.J whined childishly. "I wanna sit in my hotel room and vedge!"

Alyssa rolled her eyes at her boyfriends laziness "Come on, it'll be fun" she attempted to persuade "Plus, I need to the publicity. Please baby?"

"No!"

Loosing patience, Alyssa let out a loud grunt "A.J, you can be so selfish at times"

"Me selfish?" A.J retorted in shock "What about you? Me-me-me, that's all I ever hear you talk about"

"Do not!" Alyssa protested, giving him attitude.

"Do too!" A.J snarled.

Annoyed by her boyfriend's behavior, Alyssa turned her heals and stormed out of the room. "Stupidpieceofshitselfishspoiledbratasshole..."

"Nice to see you too"

Startled, she made a quick 180 and found herself facing J.C "You again?!" she said, half kidding, half serious.

"Better get security" he joked "You got a stalker on your hands"

"Funny J" she grumbled, continuing her rampage down the busy hall "I'm really not in the mood"

Quick on her tail, J.C tried his best to keep up with the angry girl "What's the matter?"

"My boyfriend's a fucking brat, that's what" she screeched through gritted teath.

J.C let out a small smirk "McLean? A brat? Naah" he said sarcastically.

Gradualy slowing down, Alyssa let out a heavy sigh and turned to face her friend's concerned expression "It's just that, ugh, he can be so stubborn at times!"

"Come here baby" J.C smiled, extending his arms to take Alyssa into a tight and more than friendly bear hug "Now you tell J all about it"

Alyssa proceeded to tell J.C all about the special affair that was to take place that night, and how if A.J would refuse to go, she'd have no other choice but to turn down the invitation aswell and "J?"

"Yes?"

"Would you come with me?"

J.C took one surprised step back "Huh?"

Alyssa grinned with pride at her ingenues plan "Oh please J-Bear" she squealed, jumping into his arms "Please say you'll accompany me? Pleaseeeee"

The prospect of going out on a date with her (unofficial or not) was almost too good to be true. Staring deep into Alyssa's emerald green eyes, he wonder how anyone could ever deny her what she wanted "Ok" he agreed, trying to conceal his own exhilaration.

"Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Alyssa yelped, giving J.C an unexpected, yet not unappreciated quick peck on the mouth. "I owe you, BIG TIME"

As she walked away, J.C couldn't help but have a goofy grin on his face "I'll be sure to hold that to you!" he shouted after her. She winked at him, and he could literally feel his knees buckle beneath him. His finger tips grazed his lips, and he found himself unconsciously licking them. If a girl could have such an effect on a man, he thought, then she was most definitely worth fighting for...


**That Evening**


Brian paced angrily around the elevator, trying to fix his boe tie as he grumbled a few unholy words under his breath.

"Need help with that?" Kristy offered, somewhat amused by her companions childish behavior.

"God, I just can't seem to get anything right these days" he scram, kicking the panel next to his foot and banging his head against the door.

Kristy watched him attentively before reaching out to him. Cupping his chin in her hand, she bit her lip and gave him a stern yet caring look "You've gotta stop acting like this Brian" she said, beginning to arrange his boe "No one wants to be around you any more. Your mood swings are worse than a woman in menopause! You've gotta move on and go back to being the goof ball everyone loves, instead of the old ninny you've turned into"

Brian looked down at her, his stature remaining motionless. He hadn't told anyone about what he had witnesses the previous night, and at that moment, he felt as though he hadn't either. His hands reached out and took hers, delicately placing them on his chest. Every muscle in his body was betraying him one at a time, rapidly giving way to the urge to kiss her. As he leaned forward, Kristy's eyes began to flutter closed, her lips puckering in anticipation. Mere millimeters from meeting her mouth, he pulled himself away and turned around.

"DING!"

"Uh, thanks for the, um, tie" he stuttered before quickly making his way out of the lobi and into their limo.

Kristy just stood there a few seconds trying to grasp what had just happened. She came so close to letting him kiss her... How could she have let her guard down like that? It was constant battle against her conscious when it came to Brian. Her heart said yes, but her mind said no! All that was left now was to decide just who to listen to.


**At The Banquet**


Dawn, Howie, Nick, Eli, Brian, Kristy, Kevin, Naila, Alyssa and J.C all arrived together. Evidently, few were actually holding hands, most especially Eli, who was still shunned by Backstreet fans everywhere. Surprisingly enough though, Alyssa and J.C arrived arm-in-arm, their relationship appearing somewhat more than "strictly platonic", as the press quoted them as saying.
A.J was pissed off, to say the least, when Alyssa told him who she was bringing along. But she didn't care. She made sure to point out the fact that if he had accepted to come, she wouldn't have had to resort to bringing another date. To that, he just snarled and walked away.

"I hope you don't mind if I invited Rick to come along" Dawn said as they all sat down at their reserved table "He's under my management, and I thought it would be good exposure"

"I still don't see why we weren't told about the kid" Kevin said, evidently not too thrilled about the lack of information in the communications department "We should be warned before receiving new acts"

Dawn pressed her finger against her lips to silence them as Rick made his entrance. He was wearing a Regis'esk black suit, with a silkish gray/blue tie. His eyes scanned the room nervously, when he spotted Britney Spears, he just about fainted!

"Rick! Darling! Over here!" Dawn waved.

Smiling, he went to join his fellow tour mates at the table.

"Everyone Rick Mclaughlin; Rick everyone" she introduced before taking her first sip out of glass of wine.

He was greeted by a few "nice to meet you's" and "welcome to the crew's", but what really caught him off guard was when Kevin chose to address him directly
"I'm sorry we couldn't watch your performance this afternoon" he apologized "It was just too hectic back there"

"Oh, that's alright" Rick rambled "It wasn't all that good anyway. It sorta sucked! Infact, I always suck" His eyes bulged when he realized just how bad that sounded "Uh, well, I mean, I don't suck literally, that's not my style" coughing awkwardly, he reached out to grab the glass of wine infront of him.

"Riiight" Nick commented, giving him a odd look.

Rick could hardly believe that he had single handedly managed to make a fool of himself in under a minute. Was he off to a great start or what?

This Rick kid looked absolutely adorable! He had kindness and sincerity written all over his face. Though I must admit, he did look quite nervous.
"How old are you?"

"16"

"Really?"

"Well I'm gonna be 17 soon..."

"Well that's wonderful" I smiled "Get a head start on your career"

The conversation came to an end at that point. The lights were dimmed, and some man in his 40's stepped on stage, followed by applause.
"Hello and welcome to the..."

"I'm already bored" Nick murmured.

I smiled and reached under the table to hold his hand "Patience baby" I mouthed.

With his hand tightly clenched around his fork, Brian watched the two make googly eyes at each other. At this point, he didn't know what to think any more.

"... And with that, we would like to ask Miss.Aguilera to grace us with her presence and voice here on stage"

The crowd began to applaud as they waited for Christina Aguilera to make her appearance. They waited, waited and waited....
The man on stage grew weary of clapping his hands together, and after just about two minutes of waiting, he approached the mic
"Uh, Miss. Aguilera?"

Just as he said that, a tall bonny man who appeared to have a toupee on his head came up and whispered something in his ear.

Crackling his voice, the man returned to the microphone and adjusted his tie awkwardly "Well it appears as though Miss.Aguilera is ill, and couldn't join us here tonight." Quite embarrassed, he tried to come up with a solution to this predicament "Well, we've got a room full of performers here. Would any of you be willing to come here on the spot to entertain a room full bored guests?"

The room immediately filled with ruckus.
"Well I sure as hell ain't going!" I heard J.C say as he put his arm around the back of Alyssa's chair.

"I got someone!" Dawn unexpectedly announced, standing up, just as soon becoming the center of attention. "He's new, and he'll be huge: Rick McLaughlin"

Rick, who was sipping some juice from his glass, sent it spraying into the linnon at the mention of his name "Wha'?"

Dawn grinned sweetly, took him by the arm, and lead him to the stage.
"Knock em' dead" she whispered.

Gulping loudly, Rick timidly stepped up to the mic and introduced himself.
"Hey, um, my name is Rick McLaughlin, I just joined The Backstreet Boys on tour. I'm not signed with a record label yet, uh, so there's a hint" he laughed "Anyways, I write and produce my own material, so I guess I'm gonna go ahead and do an a capella version of one of my songs. This is: 'Breaking Inside'.

He took one step back from the mic, and with all of his heart, began belting out a beautiful tune.

Oh....
Like I said yesterday
I could never stay
I know you care for me
But we're just not in love
You say maybe if we pretend to be
It would all fly away
We'll always have the memory
It's okay, but I cannot stay
I'm just not in love with the memory
But I guess I couldn’t see
Why she didn’t love me
And I really tried to be
All she ever wanted
But in reality I guess
I'm loosing my mind
Underneath my conscience
I'm gradually breaking inside

Friends ask me how I feel
Like I did something
I really want to reveal
The fact I'm vulnerable
So I go on with my life
I keep praying at night
Then I turn off the lights
And I begin breaking inside

What do you do
With someone who's devoted to you?
Make them stop wanting you?
Cause I haven’t got a clue
What to do with the one who wants you
I've been through the crowd
And I've really tried
But I don't like this way
Nobody hears my say
Should I hold on or maybe just slip away
But I guess I couldn't see
Why she didn't love me
But I guess I tried to be
All she ever wanted
But in reality I guess I'm loosing my mind
Underneath my conscience
I guess I'm gradually breaking inside

Oh.....
Breaking inside, steadily falling outa sight
But I guess I couldn't see
Why she didn't love me
But I guess I tried to be
All she ever wanted
But in reality I guess I'm loosing my mind
Underneath my conscience
I guess I'm gradually breaking inside


(Authors Note: This song was written by the real Rick y'all!! Hats off to him)

After the final verse, the room broke out into monstrous applause.
All Rick could do was bow in return.

Back at the tables, he was getting standing ovations from everyone. While clapping, Kevin leaned over to Howie and whispered "I think we found our man"

Howie just nodded approvingly.


**~~**


After enjoying a gourmet dinner, everyone settled in for some mingling and chit-chat.

"Can we leave yet?" Nick complained for the millionth time.

"No!" I answered sternly "You're the one that wanted me to come along- deal"

Pouting, he crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.

Shaking my head, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Kristy.

"Why don't you send him to the back? That's where Brian went with Rick and J.C to shoot some hoops."

Nick had somehow managed to over hear that, and before I could even blink, he'd disappeared.

Brian or no Brian, B-ball beat mindless chatting any day! Besides, things between he and Nick were more or less settled now. Of course there were still a few uncomfortable brushes here and there, but nothing that a good game of 1 on 1 couldn't settle.
As he stepped into the court, he automatically threw his jacket to the floor, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves.

"Ya joining us Carter?" J.C hollered, giving him a friendly high five.

"You can bet on it!" he responded, tousling his hair to undo the mold the gel had shaped it to.

Brian's blood pressure went sky high at his sight! He still didn't know what to think about what he saw last night. There was no denying it- he saw it with his own two eyes. Eli's tongue was jammed down Nick's freakin' throat!

"Ya ready Frick?"

Brian forced a smile on his face and passed him the ball.

The game went on for a while. Each side scoring point in turn.
Although it wasn't visible, the tension in Brian was building more and more at each glance he took of Nick... His hair, his mannerism, even the way he wore his pants was irritating him to no extent! He could hardly keep his concentration on the court, he was so distracted...

"Double dribble!!"

Brian spun around "Wha'?"

Nick walked up to him motioning for him to pass him the ball "Double drible! You stopped and dribbled. The ball goes to my team"

Shaking his head, Brian protested "No I didn't!"

"C'mon Frick- I was you! Give it up!"

"Fuck, I'm not that stupid! I wouldn’t make a foul like that without noticing"

Nick looked at him oddly. He knew that Brian was a sore looser, but to this extent
"I didn't say you were stupid Frick- but ya did..."

"Fine! Fine! Want the ball?" Brian snapped, "Here! Take the fucking ball!" he shouted, hurdling it violently in Nick's face.

Thankfully, it smacked Nick's cheek, and not his nose. But still, it stung like hell.

"Yo, that's not cool man" J.C could be heard, disapproving.

With his hand pressed on his cheek, Nick blew a fuse "What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled after his former best friend.

Stopping in his tracks, Brian spun back around and stomped over to 6 foot 2 blonde and grabbed him by the collar. Nick didn't even wince- instead showed no fear, and looked him straight in the eye.

"C'mon! Take your best shot!"

Brian's face hardened "You hurt her- I kill you!" was all he said before dropping him to the floor and disappearing back into the mansion.

"Yo, shit! What the hell was that all about Carter?" asked J.C, jogging up to him to help him off the floor.

Feeling his cheek, Nick shook his head in disbelief "He knows" was all he said before he too walked back to the well lit party.



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