Chapter Forty Nine; Part Two I Need You Now Somehow
**Same Night**
Stiring inanely in his covers, Kevin let out a fatigued groan as he settled in his thirty-forth position since he'd first laid down. Anxiety about Naila and their current "situation" kept him alert that evening. He still hadn't approached her about what he had discovered in the waste basket the other week. Partially because he felt that he should allot her the time necessary before breaking the news. Mostly however, due to the fact that he was scared shitless of what he feared was true. What his soul told him was true. There was hardly a shadow of doubt left in his mind about her being pregnant. As the days progressed, the warning signs became increasingly apparent. But there was one more notion which lingered in the back of his subconscious. One which frightened him most of all: Abortion.
Just as his lids began to flutter off to the land of nod, a sharp light slowly crept through the room.
Plopping up on his shoulders, he strained his eyes to look at who had just entered. "Buffed out?" he teased.
Smirking, Naila gently pushed the door closed behind herself and kicked off her shoes.
"Didn't mean to wake you" she murmured, gliding across the darkened room while pulling her top off over her head.
"Nah, I wasn't sleeping any---"
"BANG!"
A loud thump followed by an agonizing cry resonated against the walls; making Kevin jolt out from under his sheets and quickly spring over to his crouching girlfriend.
"Ouch, shit!" Naila cussed, angrily knocking over the tray that had been vacuously left at the foot of their bed. Wincing, she wiggled her toes to insure that she hadn't fractured a bone "For God's sakes Kev, put your damn stuff away!"
"I'm so sorry, baby" he apologized, standing the cart back upright.
Grimicing, Naila felt lukewarm liquid drizzle down her hand "Just look at this" she bellowed angrily, bringing a fist with her now ruined white shirt drenched in pea soup up to his face. "What were you thinking?" she demanded, violently hurling the T at his chest.
That was all Kevin could stand. He'd had enough of her cataclysmic mood swings, and there was no restrain him. "What I was thinking? Well I'll tell you what I was thinking" he retorted, finally letting his temper flair "I figured it would be a nice gesture to order my girlfriend a substantial meal, for a change. For Christ sakes, you've been eating like a bird, when a women in your condition really should b---"
"A woman in my condition?!" she repeated loudly.
Kevin bit his tongue and sheepishly looked down at the floor. But it was too late. It had slipped out. He shook his head "Forget I said anything" he mumbled.
Feeling her blood boil, she glared at him bitterly. By now, she had completely lost control of all her senses and was riding on furry alone "Kevin!!!" she barked "Kevin, you tell me this instant!!!!"
"Honey, would you just calm down?" he pleaded, attempting to hold her, only to have her brusquely brush him off.
Crossing her arms doggedly over her chest, Naila stared into his eyes with resolution. Her glare was cold, and sent shivers down Kevin's spine. He knew that he had no alternative but to fess up. "I know" he demurred plainly.
Her brow furrowed "Know? Know what?" she pressed.
Kevin brought a delicate hand up and placed it over her stomach. "I know" he said again.
A feeling of sheer terror came crashing down upon her like lightening. How could he possibly have found out about her dieting? That was all it was- dieting. Nothing more than getting into shape and shedding pounds. But she wasn't naive either. She knew that to an outsider it would seem more serious than it actually was. Too many Oprah specials...
"...I'm not upset that you didn't tell me sooner. I understand how difficult it must be for you. But I want you to know that I will be here every step of the way over the next 9 months. This is our child, and I was raised to-"
"Excuse me, what?"
Naila shook herself as he gave verbatim restatement of his claim. "Kevin, I'm not pregnant!" she corrected, realizing what he'd actually been referring to.
He eyed her skeptically. "Naila" he began, figuring maybe he should have approached the matter more delicately "I found the test. I know what I saw"
"What you saw, Kevin, was an error" she disputed "The first test was faulty. I've taken 8 more since- every last one coming up negative. I'm not pregnant"
Kevin felt a sudden weight lift off his shoulders. But the decompression was short lived, for it didn't take long for Naila to return to her unbridled conduct. This time however, he couldn't help but tune out her incessant lamentations. Not a single syllable about how he shouldn't have been snooping around in affairs that didn't concern him was loud enough to penetrate his thoughts, and barely construing it himself, he headed towards the door.
In mid-yell, Naila froze a moment "Where do you think you're going?" she scram after him "I'm not through with you"
"No, but I am"
Dead silence.
Breathing heavily, he kept his focus on the exit before him. He knew what had to be done "Naila, you know I love you, but this is getting out of hand. You obviously have demons that need sorting out, and you've made it quite clear that I am only getting in your way."
"You're breaking up with me?" her voice faltered, not believing what she was hearing.
Gathering every ounce of self-discipline he had, Kevin restrained himself from flocking back to her at the sound of Naila's first torrent sob. He adored her with every fibber of his being, and stepping out that door against his will asserted that more than remaining there and allowing such behavior to persist ever could. It was for the best.
"Relationships are for people that can trust one another. This isn't a relationship. Let me know when you're ready for one"
**Before**
Pulling her knees to her chest, Laurel rested her chin on her knees and popped on the tele. Her humor was still foul from her earlier squabble with Rick, and she found herself resenting him for spoiling what ought to have been a perfectly pleasant day of leisure. "Moron", she puffed.
"... Live, it's the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. On today's show, funny man Bill Murray; Star of box-office giant 'The Lord of The Rings', Elijah Wood; and rising pop-sensation, Rick McLaughlin"
"Oh no!" Laurel groaned, rolling her eyes. Wherever she turned, there always had to be some kind of reminder of that stupid twirp. About to switch channels, she felt an unknown force refrain her. "I hope he falls on his face" she hexed roguishly.
Listening to the fatuous celebrities jesting pointless anecdotes back and forth like a ping pong ball, her eagerness unconsciously began to heighten in anticipation of Rick's arrival. As much as she presently loathed him, she still lionized his artistry. He had a gift, and no amount of animosity could blind her from acknowledging that.
Finally, Jay announced him. Her face scrunched as she guilefully watched his impeccable performance. The brat never faultered! Not once; not ever; not even---- huh? Laurel's mouth curled in to a smug grin. Maybe he wasn't so faultless after all...
**Earlier**
"Come on, just do it" I ordered myself, shifting uneasily as I stood in front of the door. The key was already in the bloody keyhole, and yet I still couldn't bring myself to unlock it! Nick was in there, no doubt about it. He was there, and he was waiting for me. My hand nervously grasped the handle. Gulping hard, I slowly pushed it open.
"Eli!", I heard him exclaim before I had even slid in.
I smiled meekly "Hi" I greeted, as I watched him saunter towards me with greasy hair ; droopy eyes; and disheveled clothes. There was no sense in trying to con myself. He reeked of booze-
"I love you" he said, wrapping me protectively in his arms.
I hesitantly returned his embrace. "Me too" I answered softly, wanting desperately to get away from his retched odor. This was the epitome of his recent behavior. Constantly smothering me, then lashing out, which would only result in more smothering. He was an absolute wreck, and I had somehow become his perverse pillar of strength.
"Nick, I uh-"
"Yes baby?" He asked, gently pulling away and caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.
Overting my eyes from his, I felt myself surrender to my cowardly nerves. But my gut kept tugging in the other direction, and I was thankfully able to gather my courage. "I just thought I should-uh, tell you that-" What? Tell him what? "That I promised Kristy we'd have a movie night" I fibbed through my teeth. I felt awful about lying to him, but I just had to get out of there, and fast. "I wanted to warn you so that you wouldn't worry."
I could feel the outset of one of his tantrums, so I quickly stepped back and fumbled for the knob "She's waiting for me" I chuckled, giving him a quick peck before vacating "Wouldn't want her starting without me. Goodnight"
And with a tense sigh, I was back where I started: in front of the door. I knew that I couldn't very well keep on avoiding confrontations, but I was at the end of my rope. The Nick I knew was gone, and I had nowhere to turn. Part of me wanted to flee- escape this life of shambles I was so ashamed to call my own. Run away from the torment which was rapidly eating me alive. All I wanted was to be happy again. I was just so- confused. Who was I? Who did I have left?
Sensing a presence, I turned around and met a pair of eyes that had been beating down my neck from a few suites down.
"Hey", I croaked, not expecting to see him, of all people.
Studying her posture and facial expression, it didn't take long for him to recognize that she was troubled. However much he wanted to snub her, and just turn the other cheek, he simply couldn't bring himself to tear away from her sorrowed expression. The enchantment she cast over him was far too powerful.
"Is something the matter?" Brian asked with concern.
I bit down on my lip apprehensively before answering. If there was one person I could trust, it was Brian. But then again, perhaps all I needed was 5 peaceful minutes without additional woes. "I couldn't sleep"
"Oh" he replied softly. An idea immediately sprung to mind; just as soon spurting out his lips "Do you... I mean... Would you like to stay in... my room?..."
Grinning warmly, I accepted his offer and strolled over to him. "Thank you" I mouthed, as he graciously gestured for me to enter.
"Wow, you certainly haven't changed" I joked unobtrusively to lighten the atmosphere.
Brian tried hard not to stare "Yeah, same old messy me." he muttered.
Truth be told, he was a bit amazed to have Eli there. This whole ordeal with Kristy had really helped put things in perspective, and there was no more denying his feelings, for they only grew stronger and fiercer by the minute. But his gut also told him that this may not be the appropriate time to bring up the matter.
"I really appreciate this" I confessed "I just- need to be around someone stable right now"
"What's wrong?" he queried, eyeing her worriedly.
I snickered weakly. Ah, what a question. I tried changing topics "So, what's up?"
Gounging his memory for any possible source of small talk, his eyes eventually came to rest on the coffee table. "Actually" he began, walking towards it and picking up a few wrinkled sheets "I was in the middle of writing some new material, when I got stumped and decided to get some fresh air to help rejuvenate my creativity"
I smiled at how precious he was. "May I?"
"Please" he insisted, as we both plopped down in the cushy loveseat.
Combing my long hair behind my ears, I tilted my head so that the light would hit the paper at a better angle. Without even realizing, I started to croon a melody to the lyrics.
There are people
Who say what you wanna hear
Even on a rainy day
They'll tell you the sky is clear
When you really really love someone
Am I right when I say you want them near?
And if you can't even tell them things that they wanna hear
Brian's voice chimed in-
Always Forever
All the things that she said
And never say never
Those simple lies that she fed
I will never leave you
All the love I thought she had
I trailed off in melancholy as he went on
But can you blame me, no
'Cause that's what she said
"No chorus yet..." He added, flowing into the next verse
And there are people who say what they really mean
She said she'd always be there
She said she'd always care
But just when you think that you can
Trust that someone you love
Tell me why do you know how stars can fall from above?
"Missing piece again" he sang...
'Cause you made promises that you couldn't keep
But you're not hurting yourself
You're only hurting me
Why would you say things
That you really you didn't mean
Oh how can I make you see just what you did to me
With his eyes locked in mine, he finished.
... If I were you I could not lie even once
To the face of the one that I love so much...
Gingerly leaning into her, Brian brushed his long fingers through her silky mane and felt his heart skip a beat. He longed for nothing more than her sweet touch. As his lips grazed the corner of her tender lips, Eli drew away at once. "Brian..." she drawled, gently placing a restraining hand on his chest.
He deferred a moment, then went in again.
"Brian!", I exclaimed, forcefully shoving him off me "What are you doing?"
"I love you, Felicity"
My body became limp "God" I whimpered in despair, standing up "Brian, I really, really don't need this right now."
"Well what do you want me to do?" he rebutted, getting up after me and gripping me by the arms so that I would face him. "Felicity, I love you. I love you! For crying out loud, ILoveYou! I've tried moving on, I've tried forgetting, but when I lay down at night you're all I think about. I need you, Felicity" Probing my bloodshot eyes, his tone quelled "I need you"
I could feel my tears roll down my flushed cheeks, utterly overwhelmed by emotion. "What are you trying to do?" I cried deliriously "What do you want from me? What do you wish to accomplish by telling me this? Do you expect me to just throw myself into your arms and pretend everything's Ok? Well everything is not Ok, Brian, and I just can't deal"
He swallowed hard "But I lov-"
"No!" I shouted back, still weeping. I raised a hindering finger "No. Don't say it. I don't want to hear it."
Quietely, Brian made his way to the door and threw it open "Please leave" he requested apathetically.
My entire being crumbled "Pardon?"
"Please leave" he repeated coldly, unable to look at her. He was well aware of how cruel he was being, but he just couldn't take any more suffering.
Pained, I walked by him and paused in the frame. "I never meant for any of this to happen, you know that, don't you?" I told him earnestly "I still care for you deeply, and cherish what we ha--"
"Please leave" he said again firmly.
Blinking hard, I took a step back and winced as the door slammed in my face. Resting my head against the wall, I felt myself breakdown. "I don't wanna be alone" I cried, as violent sobs continued to rake through my body.
**Later That Night**
**Warning** The following scene is for mature eyes only. ( Had to keep mine closed as I wrote it ;) )
Alyssa had become utterly oblivious to the time that had elapsed infront of the television. Even Naila had retired two and a half episodes ago.
"Ah ha!" she exclaimed, having found the part she was searching for.
Clicking play, she settled in to watch her favorite Spike scene. Something about that character was so carnal ... so erotic... so... ugh! Everything about him made her hot and bothered. "Thank goodness I'm not a guy" she giggled, thinking about the massive boner she surely would have had by now.
Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.
Say it's true. Say I do want to. It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. You're beneath me.
Alyssa's jaw dropped at Buffy's brutal words "That is so harsh!" she remarked out loud.
"Gawd, not again!"
Expecting to find her peacefully slumbering in their cozy bed, A.J was royally peeved to see that Alyssa was still slobering over the tube at this hour of the night. Belligerently sashaying over to where his girlfriend was parked on the carpet, he snatched the remote out of her unsuspecting hands and shut off the TV.
"Hey!!" she protested, watching in dismay as her boyfriend marched to the window and pitched the controller out the top floor of the Ritz Carlton.
Smirking boastfully, he wiped his hands and proceeded to remove his clothes without so much as a peep.
Alyssa huffed at his immature behavior. "Well" she began, rotating herself a few degrees so that she'd be facing him "Aren't you at least gonna help me up?"
"Hell no, woman!" he leered, dismissing his jeans on one of the chairs "Why don't you ask Spike to, since you obviously need him more than me!" he retorted childishly.
Normally, she would have spat back some malignant cheap-shot, but her rump was truly too soar from being stagnant for such a long period to stand on her own. So she swallowed her pride "Please baby" she cooed, batting her lashes.
Lyss smiled triumphantly when she saw him coming her way.
"Thank you, baby" she hummed, extending her arm to him.
Catching her off guard, A.J tackled Alyssa and straddled himself over her. Hearing a muffled grunt escape her throat, he trailed between her thighs and past the elastic of her underwear. He could feel the arousal that Bloondie the Vampire had caused her slick around his fingers. "Maybe Spike could do it better..." he whispered hoarsely, bringing his mouth up to her ear. He then traced the contour of her lips with his tongue; guilefully tugged at the bottom brim, before abruptly standing up and trotting away; leaving Lyss behind light headed and craving more.
"You little bitch!" she puffed, bolting to her feet. What a rancorous snot he was, getting her all worked up like that.
Incapable of withstanding any more of his haughty sniggers, Alyssa stormed off to the washroom and angrily slammed the door behind herself. Grumbling bitterly, she lurched the shower curtain open and turned on the faucet. She just couldn't believe what he had done to her. "Bastard" she muttered, stepping in to the tub. Resting her hands against the cold tiles, she lowered her head, and waited before turning on the heat. As she watched the icy droplets drizzle down her body, and then to the drain, her mind continued racing with lewd thoughts of her prior escapade on the floor. She and A.J had never actually had sex- yet. Sure, they fooled around and had gotten quite heavy, but something (or someone) always managed to interfere. At first, it didn't bother her so, for she figured that at least this way they would have the opportunity to get to know one another on a more spiritual level.
But now... After months of perpetual teasing... After hundreds of arousal’s left unsatisfied... After Spike...
Exhaling, she flipped on the hot water and reached for the soap. Working up a frothy lather, and still caught up in her own cerebration, she failed to notice the curtain slither open.
She suddenly felt a damp finger tarry over her spine. Startled, Alyssa spun around only to be engulfed in a fiery embrace. She struggled to part her lips from his, but only managed to breathe his name before succumbing to both their desires. Their tongues fervently continued to duel, as their hands roamed their bodies feverishly. "I love you" he breathed, kissing and sucking his way down her jaw to her collarbone. Dizzy with yearning, all she could respond with was a loud moan of consent.
Deviating his mouth back to hers, he felt her fingers circle his neck and push him further in to their passionate embrace. His hands roved down her back and swiftly lifted her; pinning her up against the wall. "I want you" she finally managed to pant, feeling his hand deviate back to where she ached for it to be. She quickly wrapped her leg around his waist and felt him hard against her opening. Needing no further prompting, he roughly entered her and caused them both to cry out in pleasure. As they both got adjusted to the sensation, she nibbled on his shoulder while he started to thrust inside her. "Oh God, baby" A.J grunted, lavishing in the incredible feeling she was providing him with. His rhythm began to increase; the sensation of her nails racking over his back and hot water beating down their glistening bodies almost too much for him to bear. But he kept a steady course, not wanting to reach his peak before her. Biting down on her clavicle to stifle his growing moans, he plunged in to her a few more times before feeling her walls contract around him. Crying out his name in ecstasy, he continued his pace until he couldn't take any more and came in turn.
While their hearts continued to pound savagely, A.J kissed her adoringly and pulled out of her.
"Bet your Spike couldn't do that..." he panted.
**12:48 AM**
Curling up in a small ball, Rick grimaced at the perky dandelion obscuring his view. His eyes narrowed, and shooting it a venomous glare, he angrily plucked it out by its roots and bitterly lobbed it to the ground. He was still devastated over his disastrous appearance earlier that afternoon. What a fool he was! What an ass he had made of himself! And on national television, at that! Sniffling, he wiped a disappointed tear from his cheek as he continued to gaze out at the city.
Hearing footsteps crunch through the gravel, Rick tilted his head to see who had joined him on the rooftop.
"Come to gloat?" he spat, cleverly masking his broken ego.
"No"
"I bet" he snickered sarcastically. "Who told you I was up here, anyway?"
"George said you'd be here. Wanna talk about it?"
Rick shook his head in disbelief "Don't patronize me, Laur." he mumbled "I acted like a major dick, and I'm sure you're glowing about how rotten I was. Bet you think I got my dues, too"
"Well, you did" she told him bluntly. Laurel felt nothing but contentment when she watched him humiliate himself before millions of people. But at the same time, she also knew that Rick was probably crushed by the entire experience, and would undoubtedly need some compassion. "However..." she continued, taking a seat next to him on the bench "I also think you've learned a valuable lesson from this experience"
"Oh, trust me on this" he vowed, bundling tighter into his flimsy jacket as a cold gust of wind blew passed them "From this day forth, Modesty is my middle name. Not that it matters, anyway. My career is dead"
Laurel raised an eyebrow. "Your career isn't dead, Rick. You had one bad performance. So what? Shit happens." She affirmed, hunching over so that she'd be looking him straight in the eye "You're an incredible talent, and you're gonna be so huge. Trust me, I can tell. And besides," she grinned "What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger, am I right?"
"You really think I'm talented?" Rick pestered, cracking a quirky smile as he turned to her.
Placing a supportive hand on his leg, she smiled back. "Cross my heart" she answered without a shred of falseness.
Ruining the moment, Rick's nose twitched as a frigid drop of something landed on his nose. "Oh wow"
"It's snowing!" Laurel squealed, jumping to her feet. "I love snow!" she giggled, sticking out her tongue as to catch one of the delicate flakes on it.
Rick laughed as he watched her twirl joyfully around the roof. She was absolutely the most adorable creature he had ever encountered.
"Hey Rick, join the party" she giggled, closing her eyes as the flakes daintily landed on her long lashes. Suddenly, her spinning came to a halt as two warm lips pressed against hers. She felt herself go numb, and allowed Rick's tongue to enter her mouth as he wrapped her amorously in his strong arms; the snow peacefully hovering around their sweet embrace.
