Chapter Fifty Three

Revelations



**Times Square**


(Author's Note: lmao Rick, FINALLY. It's FINALLY here.)

Huddled in corner on 45th Street and Broadway, a group of twenty people were trying to catch a glimpse of the monitor before them.

"This is it, Rick" beamed Laurel from the front of the line "The rough-cut of your Pepsi commercial. I can't wait to see it!"

Tingling head to toe from excitement, all Rick could manage to do was grab hold of her hand and squeeze with all his might.

"Here we go" announced the director.

Rick held his breath as all heads turned to the screen.

(sung a cappella): Rick walking down NYC streets in total darkness except for a spot light.


Have you heard this new thing I found
The power of one man's sound
It came along this midnight clear
and you know what got it here
Thats right
Ya know it's Pepsi


The music comes in...lights blast. Rick solo dances down broadway with lots of lights flashing; cars are slamming on brakes to let him pass, etc.


The unbelievable, unconceivable Joy of Pepsi, yeah
Do you feel me


New Yorkers begin to join Rick here.


Anytime you wanna drill me
It's all inside
The grounded sound, the taste in your mouth
It's Pepsi
You know how it goes so here it is


Everyone comes in for large group dance in Times square.


Ba ba ba ba ba; ba ba ba ba ba.....yeah

The Joy of Pepsi
The new taste of your soul
You got to know


Flashes of Rick on Times Square Big Screen from time to time from here on.


The joy of Pepsi
Everything indeed
Babe its all you need
The Joy of Pepsi
As we grow strong
take the world on
The Joy of pepsi
Yeah....


The crowd erupted in to mad applause as cast and crew alike scrambled around Rick to shake his hand.
The director came up behind him and clapped him firmly on the back "Good job, kid". He then turned his megaphone to crowd "Everyone- that's a wrap!"

And as people fought to clear off the street, a single tear of joy glinted in Rick's eye, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt now, that he had finally made it.


(Author's Note: Guys, this entire Pepsi scene was Rick's brainchild, so for the thousandth time, thanks to him and his superb creativity and lyrical skills. Leave him feedback in the MB, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.)


**NYC: A Few Days Later**


It was nearly a quarter passed 7:00 by the time I arrived in the lobby. I had no valid excuse for my tardiness, because all I had done over the last hour was sit in front of the TV, reflecting on the situation at hand. In a few days, I would be sent back to Orlando. Back to Nick; Back to Brian. Back to a life that caused me more grief and aggravation than it was worth. This was the last 'vacation' I was would be having for months to come. And who knew what would happen once the tour wrapped up? Chances were I'd probably have to get right back on the road! Even though I tried my best to avoid thinking about it, I realized that this would be my final opporunity to visit my family for months to come. My desire to see them had been steadily increasing in me for a while now. These days, nothing but the deepest shame and guilt kept me from them. That, and the daunting fear that they no loner wanted anything to do with me.

"Hey you" greeted Ron as I approached him. He was wearing an elegant olive green dress shirt which brought out the color in his eyes.

"Hi" I replied vaguely, mentally reevaluating my choice of garments. I wondered whether jeans were perhaps a fashion faux-pas for the evening.

"You look nice" he commented, and for some reason or another, he seemed to be avoiding eye-contact.

"Thanks. So do you"

Apparently fascinated by his own shoe lace, there was a definite tension in the air that had not been present that afternoon.

I tried to act as normal as possible. "So where are the others?" I enquired.

"Ah, well- there's been a small change of plans." He said all this in a placid tone, but his body language gave his nerves away. He kept compulsively rubbing his nose.

I gave him a quizzical look. "Oh?"

"Yeah" he mumbled, and for some reason appearing very upset with himself as he did so. "We're going to meet there instead"

I grinned "Alright"

Somewhat more at ease now that they were on their way, Ron still hardly managed to string two sentences together all through their ride, even though the post rush-hour traffic kept them trapped in the streets of upper Manhattan for a very tedious 45 minutes.

The limo slowly swerved down a narrow alleyway. "Is this it?" I asked him.

"Err yeah" went Ron. The engine stopped, and even though it was an extremely tight squeeze, the chauffeur managed to open our door to a 60 degree angle. After jostling our way out, Ron whispered something to the driver. The man nodded his head, got back in his limo and drove off- glimpsing Felicity in his rearview mirror.

Without a word, Ron indicated for me to follow him out of the alley. My eyes rested on a sign that read "Haru Broadway"

"I hope you like sushi" he said; a taut smile curling on his face.

I had never bothered trying sushi before in my life, but that was far from being my main concern at the moment.
"Where are the others?"
Asides from the hustle and bustle going on inside the restaurant, the pair of us were in fact quite alone as we stood outside.

"The others…" trailed Ron, glancing at his watch before wiping his nose again. "There aren't going to be any others."

I stared.

Ron looked more nervous than ever. "Felicity" he mumbled, and, for the first time, dared to look her in the eye "I like you. I like you a lot" he chortled uncomfortably "And I was sorta thinking that this could be a- a date."

If ever the term 'ill-at-easy' could be applied, this was the time. Polite rejections were formulating in my brain. Ron interpreted my lapse in to silence as a definite snub, for he quickly added "I'll understand if you're mad or you--"

"No, that's not it" my vocal cords suddenly kicked in "Under normal circumstances… but… I'm really flattered, Ron… I have a boyfriend!"

It was an odd moment.

"Oh" said Ron.

"Yeah" I said, flushing slightly "I'm really sorry"

"That's Ok" said Ron, looking as though this was the furthest thing from the truth.

We just stood there uncomfortably looking at each other until Ron fianlly asked "Who is he?"

"Oh" I went again "Err"
Dawn had long ago instructed me to deceive the public in to believing that Brian and I were still a couple, but at that moment, I just didn't give a crap any more. I didn't want to lie.
"Nick" I answered plainly "Nick Carter of the Backstr--"

"I know who he is" Ron interrupted; and I was surprise to see him frown as he did so.

"Ok"

There was yet another awkward pause. Ron once again chose to break the silence first. "Weren't you dating Brian?"

I couldn't help by smile at this. "Long story" I grumbled "Don't ask".

"Alright, I won't" Ron assured her, his dimples resurfacing. He scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Want me to hail you a cab or something?"

There was no camouflaging how incredibly foolish he felt. How daft could he be to actually believe that a woman like her would actually consider a man like him?

Eli fiddled with her handbag. Truth be told, she had been looking forward to letting her hair down for a change and enjoying this scarce opportunity to spend time in the company of new people. However, since it all turned out to be some cheap ploy to dupe her in to going out with him, she felt almost obligated to leave. And yet… And yet she didn't want to.
"I'd actually prefer going on a walk instead, if that's Ok with you."

Startled, yet immensely pleased by the fact that he hadn't been completely blown-off after all, Ron suggested a nice stroll through Central Park "… It's only a few minutes from here, so we might as well…"

"Sounds like a plan" I beamed, gladly accepting his proposal.
"You know" I began as we crossed the busy intersection "I actually grew up in Manhattan"

"Really?" snorted Ron "You don't come off as a New Yorker"

I wiggled my eyebrows furtively "Mmm, you'd be surprised! I may come off all innocent and sweet, but I am more than capable of handling this city… muggers included".

"Ha, if you say so" he snickered "When did you move?"

"When I was 15, To Vermont, of all places! Big- Colossal change. Going from the grandest city in the world to living in some little dinky town in Vermont doesn't exactly top a teenagers wish list, I'm telling you" I shook my head, vividly recalling it as though it were yesterday "God, I hated it. Took a lot out of me, but I finally learned to adjust. Gave my parents a hard time with it too. I was the eldest and instead of setting an example, I behaved like a selfish brat. By the time I realized how immature I was being, it was too late".
The words issued from my mouth like a torrent of water, and I wouldn't have even troubled to stop had Ron not spoken up just then.

"It's never too late". What a platitude, I thought to this "There's always time to make amends. Just call them, or write them a letter or…"

"My parents are dead, Ron. They were killed when I was 18, and unless you've found a way to communicate with the dead, spare the John Edwards spiel."

We both stopped. Ron made a move as though wanting to touch or hug me, but then thought better of it. "I didn't know" he said softly.

"The public's not supposed to know" I answered flatly. I didn't' know what had gotten in to me, but all I knew for certain was that I was in a very foul mood indeed. Ron surveyed me for a second, then spoke very clearly "Want to talk about it?"

I fixed him in the eye, as though sizing him up- getting the measure of him. Did he really want to know, or was it merely for the sake of being courteous? Worse even, out of pity? But the truth of the matter was that I wanted nothing more than to burst the dam filling in my chest. To finally be able to discuss the way I felt with someone; anyone who'd be willing to listen. Complete stranger or not. Yet I knew better.
"No" I replied acidly.

Glancing across the street at Central Park, Ron's face looked like he was retaining very bad gas. "Felicity" he went, and you could tell that this required every ounce of nerves his lanky body possessed. His lips moved soundlessly and then "I know that we're virtual strangers, but you can trust me. That is, if you wish to talk about it. I'm not going to force you, but it would probably do you good to vent, and I am more than willing to - to lend an ear"

And that was all it took. Without the slightest foreboding, I spilled the beans on my innermost secrets and anxieties as we paced the outskirts of the park. Everything from the way I had met the BSB, to how I got discovered came gushing out. Ron listened wordlessly with unwavering attention as she spoke; too enthralled to interrupt. When time came up to bring up her first visit back home however, my voice faltered. No one- not even Lyss, Brian or Nick, knew what had occurred that faithful day. Consumed by remorse, I fought hard not to let myself get too emotional as I spoke.

"And you haven't seen them since?"
Ron was aghast.

"Haven't even heard from them" I whispered glumly.

Night had fallen around us, but we were far too preoccupied to notice. Illuminated by a nearby lamp pole, Ron's features looked ghostly.
"Felicity" he began slowly "That's awful! Have you at least tried reaching them?"

I shook my head guiltily. "I was too ashamed, and too cowardly, so no. Wait- I did try" and I could hardly believe myself for forgetting.

"What happened?"

"Nick walked in- we had a fight. Then- well, kinda drove it out of my mind."

"Hmph"

I peered up at Ron, who was frowning in the same particular fashion he had when I had previously brought up Nick's name. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?" I asked curiously, folding my arms over my stomach.

He dismissed it "It's nothing" he grumbled.

"No, no. It's something" I persisted "That's the second time I've mentioned Nick, and that's the second time you've made that face. Is there something you're keeping from me?"

Ron sighed. "Let's just say I've worked with Backstreet before… But forget it, forget it. It was years ago… people change, so forget about it, ok?"

But one glance at Felicty's resolute face was enough to tell him that she wasn't going to drop the subject so easily.
"Fine" he breathed reluctantly "It's been a while, but I still remember it clearly enough. They were my first case, so I guess that's why it sticks out in my memory to this day. The guys were all real friendly- Kevin, A.J and Howie especially. Brian was a little more low-key, kept to himself, mostly; was on the phone with his girlfriend a lot. And then there was Nick." His features contorted "Let's just say he liked to play the field; would disappear right in the middle of shoots to meet up with different girls; annoyed the guys nearly as much as it did me. Pissed his friend off most of all, though. Damn, what was her name again? Cheryl? Shannon?"

"Sheridan" I prompted "Go on"

"Sheridan, that's right". Ron eyed Eli keenly before pressing onwards "Anyway, she wasn't at all pleased by all those sexual escapades of his. She'd rag on him 24/7 about how she didn't approve of his promiscuous lifestyle. It was clear to everyone why it hit a nerve with her, though. That is, everyone asides from Nick. See, she was in love with him. But Nick, being himself after all, was far too self-involved to notice. I barged in on a screaming match between them once. She was going on about how he needed help, and that she wouldn't tell anyone about his problem if he accepted to seek someone out. Never got the chance to figure out what she meant, albeit."

"How- how come?" I croaked.
The Nick he was describing sounded nothing like the one I had first met, but exactly like the one I knew today.

"Because" went Ron, and there was only resentment in his voice now "Nick spotted me; accused me of eaves-dropping. Cost me my job."

I gazed vacantly ahead of me- too unsettled to speak.

Ron checked his watch. "It's late" he said "The limo could be here in 15 minutes, or I could just fetch you us a cab if you prefer"

"I'll walk"

Ron stared. "You'll walk?" he repeated, speaking as though the mere thought of it was sheer lunacy.

"Yes" I answered flatly.

"Look" and Ron chuckled unwittingly "I know that you're tough and all, but you can't expect me to let you walk through the streets of New York alone at this time of night. It's not safe!"

I looked up at him. My mind was set.
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself" I protested stubbornly "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight"

I turned around and strode off. I had hardly made 10 paces before he seized me by the elbow. "Felicity…" he uttered earnestly.

"I said goodnight, Ron" and with that, I wrenched my arm away and marched in to the night. I needed time alone to reflect; to reevaluate. I found my way back in one piece, just as I had surmised.
Entering my room, I felt more resolved and motivated than ever. I knew what had to be done once I returned to Orlando, and now, for the first time, felt capable of doing it.


**Around Midnight**


When they looked back on it, even years later, neither Nick nor Brian could justify what had brought them to mend the pieces of their extremely broken friendship so suddenly. All they knew was that they had reached an unspoken agreement the afternoon Nick had showed up on Brian's doorstep, pining over the thought of losing Eli. That gesture had, from Brian's respect, proven Nick's unswerving devotion to his girlfriend. Coming to terms with this was something Brian has always tossed around during discussions but was never something he had been sincere about. In reality, every step he had taken since the break up's sole purpose was to get back together with Eli. Because it was never about losing a girlfriend. It was about the loss of trust in the one place where it should always be found: your best friend. Nick had betrayed him in the worst possible way a man could betray his fellow, which in turned provoked a series of behaviors so un-Brian like that he scarcely recognized the person he had become. Eli became an integral part of his life so fast and unexpectedly that when the time came for him to let go, he was so blind sighted that something deep inside him just downright refused to do so. And it would have remained that way had Nick never appeared at his house on that faithful day. The devastated expression his friend had worn made Brian realize that Nick had not chosen to fall in love with Eli any more than he had. So what was he to do? Stoop beneath him, trying to win her back the way he had been, or finally grow some balls and face his defeat like a real man. It was time to burry the hatchet, and what better way to do so than by going out like good old times.
They of course had to consult a third party before committing to anything, and for some reason, the first person that came to mind was AJ, who, craving to let loose himself, suggested hitting a local hot-spot.

The three arrived at the club at a quarter to midnight, installed themselves in a secluded booth, and started ordering drinks almost immediately. Brian, who was never much of a drinker (or partier, for that matter) contemplating his bear during a good half hour while the other two guzzled 8 to 9 hard liquors between them.

"I need another drink"

Brian looked to AJ's side and raised an eyebrow at Nick. "You ok, dude?" he asked suspiciously "You're going through those drinks awfully fast"

"Faster than me" A.J chuckled tipsily.

Nick ignored the commentary "Who's up to lining up shots?"

"Me" AJ grinned, promptly raising his hand in the air.

"No surprise there" Brian mumbled under his breath. Leaning to his left, he peaked out from their booth and scanned the club for their waitress. The place was too packed to spot anyone. "You know what" he grunted, heaving himself from his seat "I'll place the order at the bar myself. Be right back."
He got to his feet and started squeezing through the congested crowd when a very familiar voice caught his ear.

"Alright, I'll just get us some drinks in that case, k?"

"Sheridan?" he exclaimed, doubling back and accidentally trodding on the foot of a very attractive, curly haired brunette.

Sheridan tried turning back, only to get wedged between some silicone breasted redhead and a rather obese bald man. "Ouph" she groaned, forcefully attempting to dislodge herself from the unseemly pair.

"Sheridan!" Brian called again.
A strong hand suddenly gripped hers and pried her out from between them. Stumbling clumsily forward, Sheridan smashed chest first in to the person that had rescued her.

"Hello Brian" she greeted, with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Hello Brian?" he repeated, gawking in dismay. "Sheri…"

A voice over his shoulder interrupted "Bri, change of plans! No offence, but me and Nick don't really trust ya when it comes to… Sher?"
A.J cut himself short when he spotted who Brian had been conversing with. A grin spread across his face "Dayum, Sher! It is you!"

Sheridan however, paid no attention to either of the men that had addressed her, and instead glared, rather bitterly, at the one standing erectly behind A.J's shoulder.

Nick returned an equally harsh stare. "Hello" he muttered coldly.

Sheridan didn't utter a word. She had definitely not anticipated bumping in to any of them tonight. For all she knew, they were off touring Zimbabwe…

A.J and Brian exchanged concerned glances. Neither of them really knew what had put an end to Sheridan and Nick's friendship, but judging by their behavior, it mustn't have been pretty. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"So Sheri" A.J began, striking up a conversation before it could possibly get more uncomfortable "What have you been up to?"

"Oh" she went, dimly waving her hand, not really wanting to get in to it "Nothing really."

Nick scoffed, and Brian and A.J smiled nervously at his reaction. Sparks were flaying dangerously in the air now.

"Yeah" said Sheridan, eyeing him defiantly. She glimpsed at his hand, and noticed him holding 3 empty glasses with his fingers. "Back to your good old habits, I see" she commented snidely.

"Shuddup" snapped Nick. Would she dare mention anything in front of the others?

Sheridan's brow narrowed menacingly "Never say I didn't give you a fair warning, Nickolas. All it takes is one drink and some girl problems to…"

"I told you to shut up!" Nick barked, loudly enough to catch the ears of passers by "I don't need to take advice from Justin Timberlake's whore."

It happened in a flash. Sheridan lunged forward and clasped her fingers around a fistful of Nick's precious golden locks and wrenched him forwards.
"Ass hole!" she screamed, twisting his hair till his knees buckled in agony "You stupid jerk. Look at yourself! You're pathetic. You're nothing!"

"Sheridan! Sheridan, let go!"
A.J was desperately trying to detach her from Nick's scalp as Brian fought to hold her back.

Sheridan's fingers untangled from his hair long enough to allow her to smack him sharply across the face.

It might have been a long time since she'd last seen him, but every ounce of animosity she had ever felt towards him came rushing back with a vengeance. "I can't believe you!" she shouted, sounding more disappointed than upset this time "How could you let this happen?"

Nick, whose eyes were still glistening from having his hair nearly yanked out by its roots, peered up hazily at the woman standing before him. "Don't talk about things you don't understand" he cautioned.

"Well, well, well"

Sheridan flinched, hoping against hope that she wouldn't find Justin standing over her shoulder. But there was just no mistaking that snide voice.

"Fancy bumping in to you here, Carter" he drawled.
Much of the room had come to standstill by now; some star struck, others spellbound by the scene that was unraveling before them.

"Blow me, Timberlake"

Justin's head shot to his left, and a malicious grin curled his lips. "McLean!" he smiled, "My, my, I didn't see you standing there behind er- 'B-Rok', is it?" he sneered smugly "Looks like the whole Backstreet posse has come out tonight"

Brian grimaced. "Fuck off" he snapped.

"My, what foul language, Littrell. I do hope you don't kiss your girlfriend with that mouth." Justin's eyes went wide with malice "Oh, that's right. You don't have a girlfriend any more. She dumped you for Carter."

Nick placed a restraining hand over Brian as Justin smirked at his expense. "Don't worry" Justin assured, making sure to speak quietly enough for only Brian to hear "You can have her back once I'm through with her."

Brian jerked Nick's hand off his shoulder, and rounded on Justin with bared teeth. No one else having heard what was said, a whisper that was audible even over the blaring music spread across the room like wild fire.

"What about you, McLean?" went Justin, swiftly avoiding a near disaster with Brian by pinning the spotlight on A.J instead "Where did you leave your girl this fine evening?"

"My girl is none of your damn business, Timberlake, so you'll do well to shut that trap of yours if you know what's good for you" he replied warningly.

"Touchy, touchy" Justin tutted, amused by his defensive reaction "Although with a looker liker her, it's understandable to be a little insecure. Not that I would know…"

"If you have a point" retorted A.J shortly "Then I suggest you make it"

Justin lifted his arms innocently in the air "Just throwing caution to the wind, my friend. Just throwing caution to the wind."

No one, not even Justin, uttered so much as a syllable until another rumbling spread through the crowd 20 seconds later. "Is that Britney Spears?" a flabbergasted voice exclaimed out of the gatherers.

Justin bent in to a mock bow "If you'll excuse me…"

The 3 Backstreet Boys watched with slit eyes as he slithered out of sight. The onlookers slowly went back to their business, and everything returned to normal.

"Some company you're fraternizing with, Sher" said A.J, still shaking with anger "I thought we were friends"

Sheridan could hardly believe her ears "Friends!" she burst out, startling everyone asides from Nick (who remained stony) "Some friend you are! You didn't even bother trying to reach me after I left the tour!" her voice was shaky, but she didn't care. Friends?! That was the last thing they were.

"But Justin's a creep, Sheri" Brian reasoned "Even a rat deserved better than him!"

Sheridan shot him an angry look "That's my boyfriend you're talking about" she told him severely.

"Well your boyfriend just left with his girlfriend"
Nick pointed behind Sheridan, who spun around just in time to spot the back of Britney and Justin's heads exiting the club.

An expression of complete humiliation and hurt appeared on her face as she fought the heavy lump of shame building in her throat.

"Let's go" said Nick softly.

Brian and A.J shook their heads before following him to the exit, neither one of them feeling the slightest bit of remorse for leaving her behind.
Sheridan simply stood there in disgrace; silent tears rolling down her cheeks.



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Posted September 6, 2002
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