There I stood, utterly unaware of the increasing weight of the luggage I held firmly under my arms, staring resolutely at the door not even a foot from my nose. A good 5 minutes must have elapsed before I realized that I hadn't even rung the bell.
I wasn't anxious, but I wasn't at ease either. My emotions were in shambles, and all that was guiding me now was raw instinct.
The door swung open, and our eyes met magnetically.
"Hi Brian" I said placidly.
Brian felt that all too familiar tug at his heartstring as he gawked in to those warm hazel eyes. "Felicity…" he uttered, his astonishment vibrant in his voice "What are you doing here?"
I blinked, unable to stand another moment of his penetrating gaze. This was going to be more difficult than I thought. What was I doing there? "I just got back from New York…"
"Does Nick know?"
My head snapped "No?" I answered intriguingly. My stomach was churning at the mere mention of his name. Why was Brian bringing Nick up, anyway? Since when did he care? Last we met, Brian had practically threatened to bash Nick's face in to the wall.
Shifting uneasily, his eyes darted over to the two small suitcases that she was clinging to. "You came here directly from the airport?"
I nodded firmly, and before I could even think twice about what I was saying, the words issued from my mouth "I don't have anywhere else to go, Brian. Could I stay with you?"
Brian stared at Felicity as though she had two heads. "What do you mean you have nowhere else to go? What about Nick?"
"What about Nick?" I burst out testily. Why did he have to bring him up all the time?
Brian was slightly taken aback by her outburst, but it was all it took for him to realize what was wrong. "Did the two of you have a fight or something?" he queried delicately.
'Or something' was more like it, I thought to myself. "Look, Brian" I began, fixing him straight in the eye "I really don't feel like discussing this just now. Can I please come in?"
"No"
My mouth had opened in gratitude, but then froze when his actual reply hit me. "No?" I repeated, bemused.
Brian's chest swelled. He himself had not anticipated his answer, and for the split second that he met Eli's eyes, he came very close to forgetting his own reasoning for denying her. But then his nerves kicked in again. "Felicity" he said firmly "I think that you should go to Nick"
I couldn't believe my ears. "But I don't want to go to Nick! That's the point!" I exclaimed; my head shaking incredulously.
Brian groped the handle for support. It would be too complicated and far too difficult to try and explain the kinship he now felt towards Nick. Brian had vowed to no longer meddle in their relationship, even if that meant turning away the woman he loved. Besides, he didn't feel he owed Eli much of an explanation.
"I think that you and Nick should work out your problems on your own. If I let you stay here, I'd only be interfering-"
"Brian, do you hear what you're saying?". My mind was reeling now "I'm telling you that I don't want to see Nick. I can't face him. I have no place else to go, Brian!"
Mustering every ounce of manhood he possessed, Brian lifted his eyes to hers "I can't let you stay with me, Felicity, I'm sorry. Go to your boyfriend"
Horrified, Eli watched as the one door that she believed would always remain open to her shut silently in her face.
**On The Road**
"Dare!" exclaimed Rick eagerly.
Laurel sunk her head deep in to her pillow. "Again?" her muffled voice moaned "Rick, I couldn't come up with another half-decent dare to save my life."
Though their first round back at the hotel in Philadelphia had ended 2 days ago, Rick and Laurel's Truth or Dare antics had kept them occupied on the flight over to NYC, and now back again. Unfortunately, while Rick's enthusiasm for the game was still burning strong, Laurel was starting to find just keeping her eyes open challenging enough.
"Me sleepy" she whined groggily.
"Oh come on!" he pestered "Don't wuss out on me now"
"I'm not wussing out on you" she groaned, her eyelids heavy with fatigue "But I'm getting tired. Can't we just rest for a bit?"
"No" Rick went plainly.
Laurel let out an exasperated whimper.
"Fine. Then I'll ask this time." He was on far too great a high to even consider a break "Ok, let's see, let's see…" he pondered heavily, as though solving a difficult equation. In the meantime, Laurel's exhaustion was quickly getting the best of her; she was slowly drifting off. Finally, a mischievously grin appeared on Rick's face "Alright" he smirked "I think I've got one."
"Shoot" she mumbled, half asleep.
"Are you a virgin?"
This was all it took to get a rouse out of her. "Did you just ask me if I was a virgin?" she whispered loudly.
Rick's smile broadened "Well are you?" he went, very pleased with himself for having found something that embarrassed her so.
Laurel frowned "Shut up!" she squealed "Like I'd tell you!"
"Don't be such a loser" he laughed "It's not a personal question."
"Excuse me, that's about the most personal question you could possibly ask a person" she retorted "How would you like it if I asked you that?"
Rick smirked "I'd like that very much, as a matter of fact"
Laurel's cheeks went slightly pink; she crossed her arms over her lap and pursed her lips "Well then…" she coerced.
"Ha!" Rick laughed; and laughed- and laughed some more.
"Ok, I get the point" said Laurel sheepishly.
Still snickering, Rick placed a gentle hand over her knee "Hey, don't worry about it, kiddo" he told her in what he intended to be a sensitive manner "You're a good kid, and I wouldn't think any less of you for it."
Laurel's eyes traveled to the hand resting so proudly on her leg and sneered. "I'm not"
Rick's smirk dissolved. "Huh?"
"I'm not" she reiterated with her nose high in the air.
For Rick, who had always distinguished Laurel as one of the world's biggest prudes, this came as an immense shock. His head was suddenly buzzing with questions. "Who?" He demanded without reservation.
"That's none of your darn business!" she answered snootily "Besides, it's no one you know."
"Did you love him?"
This latest inquiry came very unexpectedly to Laur. Making a face, she tilted her head to look at Rick, who bore a very impetuous expression. This was the first time she could recall him ever looking so concerned about something that had absolutely nothing to do with him. "This time you gotta admit that you're asking me a personal question" she giggled nervously in an attempt to change the subject.
"So?" Rick exclaimed "So what if it's personal? We're friends, aren't we?" He didn't know why, but he was suddenly growing quite jealous.
Breathing heavily, Laurel fidgeted uncomfortably with her hands. "I dunno." She began quietly "I thought- I dunno what I thought. I-… It's the one thing I ever regretted, Rick" she finally sighed. "It might be a little hard for a guy to understand, but most girls want their first time to be special, and with someone they love. But I never loved him."
Laurel's last words hung uncomfortably in the air for a few seconds, during which time Rick couldn't tare his eyes away from her. Before now, he had never noticed how truly beautiful she was. She dressed and acted plain, but she was anything but. Her natural blonde locks and grayish blue eyes rivaled that of any model, and her figure, although lanky, was the eponymy of femininity. She was sweet, good-natured, fun-Rick was suddenly seeing her in a whole new light.
"Laur…" he spoke softly.
Glumly, Laurel turned to him "Hmm?"
Rick leaned forward; tenderly pressing his lips to hers. She barely had time to return his kiss before he pulled away "At the risk of sounding cheesy, I can see myself falling in love with you. I'd usually drop hints about sex to my girlfriends from the get-go, but-"
"Wait", and she could scarcely believe that she could bring herself to speak after what she just heard "I'm your girlfriend?"
"Would you let me finish?" Rick smiled "I'm being suave here."
Laurel nodded impassively for him to go on.
"Right" Rick continued "As I was saying, I usually have one thing- that one thing being sex- on my mind when I'm with someone. But it's different with you; I respect you. And-" it suddenly occurred to Rick how blunt he was being, but saying all this just felt right, so he went on "I think that I could love you."
Laurel, never feeling more bashful or uplifted in her life, cracked a coy grin to lighten the mood "That's so sweet, but if you think that that's going to get you laid, you've got another thing coming."
"Like you could ever resist me" Rick laughed.
**That Evening in Orlando**
Stressed and extraordinarily frazzled, Kristy had to utilize what little energy she had left to sit down on the king sized bed in front of her. "I am so- blah" she groaned.
After the last anonymous note and flowers were delivered at her own home, Kristy wasted no further time in contacting security. And this time, they finally took the situation seriously. Within minutes, Kristy's personal bodyguard had showed up at her doorstep accompanied by local police. They confiscated all the previous letters (those that she hadn't torn) and conducted all sorts of bizarre security measures-Kristy could scarcely recall what they had done. All she knew was that she had never been in more fear of her wellbeing. An eccentric admired that follows you around on tour was one thing; but a person that tracks you down in your home and leaves you threatening messages is more than just your overzealous fan.
Fortunately enough for Kristy, Brice flew out shortly afterwards. Nothing (and that includes football quarterback sized burly security agents) made her feel as safe as having him around. Until they made further developments in the case, the agents demanded that Kristy stay at a hotel as an extra precaution. At this point, no one could fathom what this stalker fellow was capable of.
Through her puffy lids, Kristy lifted her eyes to her bodyguard. "I think I'm ready to call it a night, George. Thanks"
George, who after all did not take his client's safety lightly, rotated his massive neck and glared at the pint-sized mongrel standing at his side.
"It's alright, George" Kristy yawned "I want Brice to stay. I'll call if there's anything. Goodnight"
George scowled, but did as he was instructed. The door latched loudly behind him.
"I somehow get the feeling he doesn't like me very much" smirked Brice, slipping his hands in to his jean pockets.
"He's just looking out for me" Kristy told him sleepily, curling up on the bed "I am so tired."
Watching her intently, Brice was making a lot of twitchy movements, as though battling his insides. Kristy, who of course was lying with her eyes shut, did not notice.
Moaning, she stirred and got to her feet "I'm going to take a quick shower before I completely run out of energy" she said as she stretched her way in to the washroom "If I'm not back in 15 minutes, knock on the door to check if I'm still awake"
"Ok" Brice laughed nervously.
Getting entangled in her own clothes, it took far longer than usually for Kristy to get undressed. Stepping in the tub, the hot water hit her body like a shower of sleeping pills. She lathered herself up with soap and let the water do the washing for her. In a matter of minutes, she was toweling herself off and slipping in to her Winnie the Pooh pajamas. "Oh yeah" she thought wittily as she caught her reflection "I'm sex-on-legs".
Chortling to herself, she rung out her hair and grabbed the door handle. "K, I'm done" she hollered as she slowly opened the door.
The room was deserted.
"Hu-low?" Kristy called, "Brice, baby, where are you?"
She turned her head to the bed to check whether he had perhaps fallen asleep. A great feeling of unease was coming over her. Everything went very quiet, and all Kristy could hear was her own ragged breathing. Something was definitely wrong…
Every instinct in her being was telling her not to look at the other side of the room; and as her head tilted to her left, she saw something that paralyzed her on the spot.
A bouquet of perfectly blossomed lilacs and a sealed envelop stood neatly on the coffee table not 6 steps away from her.
Too petrified to yell, Kristy spun around in an attempt to make a dash for the door, only to bump chest first in to-
"Brice!" she shrieked.
Without warning, the man threw his arm around her neck and gagged her. Kristy's shouts were muffled by the rag bound to her mouth. She made a go at him with her fist, only to have her hand snatched in mid-air. As he backed her up against the wall, she felt something cold clasp around her wrist. Shaking from head to toe, and too dazed to do anything else, Kristy stared incredulously up at the person who stood before her. It just couldn't be.
"Don't scream" Brice began, reaching around and pulling up a chair for himself "Kristy, we need to talk."
But whatever he said- whatever he needed to discuss- Kristy did not hear. All she knew was that she had discovered who her anonymous stalker was, and she was looking directly at him: It was Brice.
**That Evening**
After being so coldly dismissed by Brian, I wandered the neighboring sidewalks until I came across a payphone. I seldom carried a cell, and of course did not have one handy when I needed it the most. But it didn't bother me. While I waited for my cab to show, I reflected - yet again- on my situation. While in NYC, I decided that staying with Brian would allot me the time necessary to set my affairs in order. Of course, I never once dared surmise that he wouldn't be there to support me. So much for unconditional love, I thought bitterly. I spent the remainder of the day nursing coffees and scones in a local Starbucks; pouring over page after page of a lengthy letter that was long overdue. I was writing to my family.
As the shadows of the setting sun crept over my tinny table near the window, I realized that day was slowly turning in to night, and I still hadn't a place to stay. Hotels were always an option, but after ages of knowing but that, the prospect of finding another "Have You Found Jesus?" pamphlet in my drawer was enough to make me hurl. And of course, there was Nick. I would have to face him sooner or later, and although the latter would have suited me just fine, I knew better.
Once 6:00 o'clock rolled by, and I was done polishing my letter, I gathered my belongings and called for a taxi again.
The ride over to Nick's was a silent one. My mind went blank and I felt hypnotized by the sound of the drizzling rain and windshield wipers swishing from left to right. As the driver pulled up to the gate, I let out a heavy sigh. I rang the buzzer and waited- getting only slightly drenched in the process. A shadowed figure emerged from the brightly lit mansion, and it was only until the person was within 15 feet of me that I realized that it was Mrs. Carter.
She stopped on the other side of the fence and her eyes went wide. "Felicity?"
I forced myself to grin "I'm sorry to intrude on you unannounced like this, Mrs. Carter, but I just arrived and…."
"Dear, you're going to catch your death out here!" exclaimed Mrs. Carter, just as soon hitting the mechanism that would open the gate. Without a word, she picked up one of my luggage's and raised her umbrella over both of our heads.
"It's so good to see you again, sweetheart" she smiled "Nick will be ecstatic to see that you're here once he gets back!"
I glanced at her as we trekked up the path "He's not home?"
"No, he went over to Brian's, I believe. He should be back shortly"
At that moment, Mrs. Carter extended a restraining arm in front of me before I could set my foot on the first step to the main house "Actually, I think that it would be a better idea for you to wait for him in the pool house. He usually goes there directly when he comes home."
"Oh, well thank you" I said inattentively.
"Not a problem, dear" gushed Mrs. Carter "Besides, I think that you two kids would want your privacy, am I right?"
I smiled timidly in response.
She walked me across the yard and unlocked the small flat for me. "There are some fresh towels in the linen closet. Would you like me to bring you some clean clothes?"
I shook my head. "No, that's alright Mrs. Carter, thank you. I'll be fine"
She grinned kindly again "Ok, well if you need anything, you know where to find me. Welcome back, dear. Have a good night"
"Goodnight" I called after her as she ran back through the downpour.
I turned back to the empty room and took a good long look around. Nothing much had changed since last I'd seen the place, except perhaps that the maid had clearly not been around, because there was dirty laundry scattered all over the furniture.
Chewing my lip, I wondered how Nick would react when he'd find me here. Worse even- how I'd react. 'Might aswell make myself useful' I thought as I started peeling dirty socks and boxer shorts off the floor. "God, Nick, you're such a slob" I groaned aloud as I spotted a crusty green jersey dangling over something on his speaker.
I toddle across the room to retrieve it. I pulled it off the speaker, and accidentally knocked over whatever it was hanging on. I looked down at my feet and felt my heart lurch. Bending over, I picked up the picture frame and stared raptly at it. It was a photograph of Nick and I, taken some time ago-even before we started dating. Exhaling, I placed the frame back in place and crossed the room again in search of a hamper. Nick's happy face was haunting me, and I began to lose patience with the filthy garments I was carrying in my arms. "Where the fuck do you keep your hamper, idiot" I grumbled after having searched the washroom. I swung open the linen closet in what I thought was a final futile attempt to find it, when I spotted it: big, brown, and stuffed to the brim.
I took a step back, and gawked. "Screw this" I thought, and shot the clothes aggressively in to closet. Once again, I succeeded in knocking something over.
A shoebox went crashing to the floor, and its contents spilled all over the carpet. And to my surprise, they were- letters!
Intrigued, I squatted and picked one of them up. Sitting down on my knees, I brushed my hair out of my face and pulled the paper out of envelope.
Dear Eli,
Jena and Jason are saying that I should stop writing to you becuz you never write back but I don't want to stop becuz I miss talking to you very much. Why don't you write back or call? I don't like having Mary be my mommy.
I love you xoxoxox
Holy
It felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. Shoving the letter in my blouse, I picked up another one at random.
Felicity, It was Jason.
I'm going to make this very short because if what Mary has told us is true, I have nothing more to say to you. Did you or did you not sign those papers?...
"What papers??" I asked frantically, as I pocketed that letter too and fished another one out from the pile. This one seemed more official and was not addressed to me.
Dear Mr. Carter,
Our client, Miss. Maria J. Walters, has received your consensus with regards to the case of Felicity A. Lawford and would like to extend her gratitude for your cooperation. Let it be made clear then that hence forth, full custody of Jason Lawford, Jena Lawford and Holy Louise Lawford has been awarded to our party…
"Eli?"
Springing to my feet, I spun around and saw Nick standing beneath the glowing spotlight of the ceiling fan. He looked both enraged and terrified.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"What the hell is this, Nick?" I demanded; the last letter still clenched firmly in my hand.
Nick looked at the paper, then down at the 60+ others that lay sprawled all around her. His mind was spinning stories at a dizzying rate, but there was just no use lying.
Tears of fury were stinging my eyes. I had never felt such disgust in my life. "You've been keeping my family from me!" I shouted loathingly at him.
"It was for your own good!" Nick yelled back, near panic.
"For my own good?" I screamed "FOR MY OWN GOOD? Who the fuck gave you the right, Nick? How dare you!"
Nick felt his anger snap, and he stepped forward and drew out his arm as though preparing to silence her with a smack, only to have her throw his arm out of the way.
"Don't you dare lay a finger on me, Nick. Don't you even dare!" I warned, my eyes blazing "You selfish son of a bitch! You'd rather see me miserable than have me leave you, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?"
Nick said nothing. His nostrils were flaring nervously.
A hot tear trickled down my cheek. I just couldn't believe this. "How could you?" I spat.
"I love you" he blubbered in his usual drunken state.
I shook my head, the sickening feeling I felt before resurfacing. "You don't know what love is, Nick. You don't betray the people you love. You don't abuse the people you love!"
"But…"
I raised my hand to his face "Save it! I've had enough!" I said plainly.
I marched passed him and was about to reach for the door handle when Nick gripped me tightly and spun me around.
"You can't leave!" he said, his eyes brimming with tears.
My face was like stone "Or else what?" I asked "You'll hit me again?"
These words stabbed Nick straight through the heart, and it was almost as though touching her skin was painful. So he let go and watched her, dejected, as she walked out of his home in to the inky night.
