Chapter 15 The Hockleys and the Dewitt-Bukators were at the tail of the procession, partly because Ruth didn't care much for attending such services and partly because she wanted to keep her daughter as far away from Jack Dawson as humanly possible. Rose herself was lost in a world of her own. She couldn't help but think of Jack during these few awful, heart wrenching days. She knew that Jack had been very close to his uncle and that his loss was probably causing a great deal of pain. As the group stopped in front of a what Rose assumed to be Andrew's burial spot, Rose could just barely make out Jack's golden blonde hair as he solemnly watched a group of men prepare to lower his uncle into the ground. He carefully wiped away a stray tear as he gently closed his eyes, trying to escape the reality of what was happening to him. Everyone seemed to be in their own little group as each of the guests quietly mingled amongst themselves. Of course Jack knew that they were all most likely talking about him. There was no way around the rumors and the gossip that had started since his uncle had died and they wouldn't stop until the whole subject started to fade away and everyone found something new to talk about. Jack could see the sorrowful faces directed at him as he quietly weaved his way around the room, not at all ready to talk to anyone. He felt extremely out of place and uncomfortable as he heared the whispered voices as he passed each group. His eyes, being tired and a little puffy, scanned the room for an escape. On noticing an open door that lead to the outside patio, Jack quickly and quietly made his way to the door and stepped into the cool and refreshing night air. He glanced back towards the door, making sure that no one had really noticed him as he continued to walk further away from the house. Once out of complete view from the house and any prying eyes, Jack collapsed on a nearby bench as he buried his head in his hands and let out all of the pain and frustration that had been bottled up inside him for the past three days. "Why? How could you do this to me?" Jack cried as he stared up into the starry heavens, which were full of glistening stars. Jack buried his head back into his lap as he continued to free his pain. "He didn't deserve to die…of all people, he didn't deserve to die..." Slowly and cautiously, Rose quietly came up behind Jack. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder. She could feel his body tense as he quickly looked up to see who had so rudely disrupted him. He looked up to find Rose, his dear and sweet Rose, with tears in her eyes and a pained expression spread across her face. "Rose…" Jack looked up into her eyes as he gently grasped her hands, pulling her down to the bench. She sat opposite him as he held her hand in his lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was out here. I-" Rose put her fingers over Jack's mouth, silencing him. "Shh…it's ok. It's my fault- I'm the one who should be apologizing. I didn't mean to intrude-" Rose began to get up, feeling the need to leave Jack alone in his thoughts once more. "It's ok Rose." Jack quickly pulled Rose back down to him. "You weren't intruding." Jack paused as he looked down at their entwined hands. "I just feel so. . .so. . ." "Lonely? Afraid?" Rose spoke the words that Jack had been searching for. He, in turn, gave her an astonished somewhat of a smile as he realized that Rose had gone through all of this before too. "You feel like no one in the world is really concerned about what happens to you although wherever you go, everyone is always saying how sorry they are and what a pity it is and so forth. Every time you enter a room, you have to just swallow your pride and move on because you know that everyone is whispering about you." Rose paused to see Jack silently nod. She wanted more than anything to be able to take his pain away. "The people. . . they'll soon move onto more interesting and more scandalous conversations about some other unfortunate person and you. . . you too will move on with your life. No matter what anyone says, you'll always have a special piece of your heart tucked away for all the wonderful memories that you and your uncle shared, just like I'll always have a little piece of my heart tucked away for my father." Rose placed her delicate hand on Jack's cheek. She looked him straight in the eye as she spoke. "The pain will ease and soon, the rumors will stop…it's just up to you to remain strong." |
