Chapter 8: Haunting Memories of the Past

Jack, Rose and Emily stepped off of the train and into the welcoming sunlight of Philadelphia Station. It had been over 20 years since Rose and her mother had been back home. Although Rose had wanted her mother to go, Ruth had been unable. She had caught another sickness and had been bedridden for weeks. The children, Matthew and Katherine, had stayed home to watch Ruth to the best of their ability.

Rose glanced around the station then back at Emily, who was looking happy at the idea of seeing John but still extremely nervous when she thought about the confrontation about to take place. The group kept walking down the street until Emily finally spoke.

"We're meeting John and…his family back at their house. John said that there'd be a driver waiting for-" but before Emily could finish, someone interrupted her.

"Excuse me…are you Miss Dawson?"

Dumbfounded, Emily replied, "Yes…who are you?"

"My name's Joe. I'm the Hockley's driver. John told me to look for a beautiful woman with curly red hair."

Emily smiled as she turned her head to look approvingly back at her parents. Rose just rolled her eyes and grabbed Jack's hand for reassurance.

The Dawson's arrived at the Hockley mansion within a matter of minutes. Rose looked up at the all too familiar building, which now was hovering over her. She was suddenly thrown back in time…back to 1909. Yes, it was so long ago…but it felt like only yesterday she was nearly 15 years old, standing in the same spot with her mother.

In the early year of 1909, Rose's father had died sending Rose and her mother into turmoil. But the problems that the mother and daughter were having were completely different. Rose was thoroughly depressed, refusing to eat or talk to anyone but her favorite maid Trudy. Ruth didn't understand her daughter and quite frankly, didn't care. She was too concerned with the families money situation to even notice the pain Rose was going through.

Mr. Hockley, Nathan Hockley that is, had asked Rose and her Mother to dine with them that night. Ruth and Nathan had been discussing the possibility of Rose marrying the Hockley's youngest son Anthony. Anthony was only a year older than Rose. There was something different about Anthony though, something that Rose couldn't quite figure out. He seemed to be special, like he was different from all the others- almost as if he had been thrown into the same predicament that she was.

Rose remembered that time so long ago when she walked up to the door for the very first time. The maids had led her and her mother into the sitting room. Then, from down the hallway walked father and son. Nathan Hockley had his hand placed controllingly on Anthony's shoulder. Anthony's head was hung down as he walked into the room. Rose was also looking away. She didn't want to think about what was happening to her. Nathan quietly nudged at his son's arm. Anthony flinched but kept his head down. His father nudged again, only a little harder this time. Anthony finally looked up to see Rose and her mother before him. He was about to return his head back down but something caught his eye and he had to do a double take. He finally noticed the beauty standing before him as his jaw nearly hit the floor. Rose had finally looked up as well and when their eyes met, they seemed to be transfixed on one another. The conversation around them had disappeared. They seemed to be in their own little world. Rose was thrown abruptly back into reality when her mother nudged her arm. She looked up, startled.

"What Mother?" she asked in a daze.

"I said, why don't you and Anthony go outside and get to know each other a little better while Mr. Hockley and I discuss some things?" Ruth said in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Whatever you say Mother." Rose returned her gaze back to Anthony as they both made their way to the balcony.

Anthony motioned for Rose to sit on one of the benches and she did. Anthony leaned against the railing. The silence was awkward at first, but it seemed to disappear once Anthony started talking.

"So Rose…I guess this could be it." Anthony said nervously.

Rose looked down at her folded hands and meekly replied. "Yes, I guess so." Her voice seemed sad and lonely. Anthony noticed this and went to sit next to her. He seemed a little concerned about her.

"What's troubling you? Is it this marriage? Go ahead and tell me what's on your mind. I won't get angry." He seemed so gentle and so sincere. Rose was taken aback. She didn't know what to think. She certainly hadn't been expecting this. She wanted to just reply "nothing" but that wouldn't be true at all. Somehow, she felt she could trust Anthony.

"Well…I suppose. I guess it's mainly because of my father."

"What about him?"

"He…died…a few months ago. It's just…well…I've felt so lonely, especially because of my mother. "

"Oh I'm so sorry. I can understand what you're going through. But the loneliness will ease over time, trust me."

"Did you know that you're the first person who's offered any reassurance. You're the first person to even notice me. Thank you." Rose looked at Anthony then back down at her hands. There were a few moments of silence before Anthony spoke again. When he spoke, Rose looked up at him.

"You know, I remember when my mother died a few years back. Everyone around me just seemed to turn their back on me. I thought nobody cared. But I had to realize that people have their own ways of grieving. Some decide to look at all of the happy times they shared with that person, some decide to spend their life in mourning. Others…well…they don't want to look at the sadness. It's too hard for them to get through. They turn their head the other way. It's just much easier for them. They don't realize it, but they end up shutting out the world around them, usually leaving out some of the most important people in their lives."

Rose looked at Anthony in astonishment. He made so much sense and yet his words were so comforting. "May I ask you a question Mr. Hockley?"

"Oh please, just call me Anthony. And yes you may ask me any question you please."

"Ok then…Anthony. How did you get through the pain?"

"Well to be completely honest with you, I never really did. It will ease over time though. I'll always have that empty space left in my heart that no one can fill. That space is my mother's and my mother's only. But things will get easier with time. You just wait and see. I know exactly what you're feeling right now- sadness, loneliness, and an indescribable void in your heart. Right now, when you think of your father, you feel all of these things because you see him as though he's gone, never to return. But you have to think of all of the happy times. These are most important. Because when you think of the happy times that you shared, you'll think of your father and it will make you smile, not cry."

"How do you know so much? Everything you say seems so right. How do you it?"

"Well, most comes from experience. I know it seems impossible, but you'll get through it. I know you will."

"I think you have more faith in me than I do."

Anthony smiled. "You just wait and see."

Rose went home that night feeling much better about things. The pain hadn't gone completely, but it seemed to have eased.

Months went by after that. Every Sunday the Hockley's and the Dewitt-Bukators would go to church together, then back to the Hockley house for dinner. Anthony and Rose began to get to know each other much better over time. They ended up becoming great friends. They both looked forward to their special day of the week when they would be able to see each other again. By the time that Rose turned 16, she and Anthony had fallen in head over heals in love. Nearly one month after Rose's birthday, Anthony proposed to Rose who gladly excepted the offer. Of course, they didn't plan on actually getting married until they were both of age. Both Ruth and Nathan were ecstatic.

Months went by. Rose and Anthony started to see one another regularly. Rose was nearly out of finishing school. She was so happy because once she was done with school, she could start to make the wedding plans. She finally did graduate and everyone gave her a huge party in her honor. This is where she was first introduced to Anthony's older brother Caledon, who seemed to be quite the ladies man. Rose hadn't met Caledon yet because he had been away at school, learning how to take over the family business. Rose couldn't help but notice the way Cal had been looking at her all evening. She was a little uncomfortable with it, but didn't think much of it and quickly shook any thoughts out of her head.

The next couple of months were hectic. The wedding plans had just started to take place. Both Rose and Anthony were sick and tired of all the fuss they were getting. They barely had any time alone anymore.

It was July 18th, 1911. Anthony had fallen extremely ill during the past week. Rose had insisted on staying with him until he felt better. After a brief visit with the doctor, the Hockley's were informed that the virus was contagious and the house was to be quarantined. So Rose was forced to stay in the Hockley mansion for two weeks. But she didn't care. She would have stayed with Anthony anyway.

It wasn't until the doctor notified Nathan Hockley of his son's critical condition. Anthony was slowly dying of an unknown disease. There were no medicines to ease the pain or kill the virus attacking his body. Anyone in the house, including Rose, was liable to get it.

That night, while laying next to Anthony, Rose had fallen asleep. Her head rested on his chest as she held his cold hand. It was nearly midnight when Anthony's eyes flickered open. He looked down at his sweet Rose. She had insisted on staying with him at all times, even though he had told her that he didn't want to risk getting her sick. But she had been stubborn as usual and hadn't left his side since he fell ill.

Anthony ran his hand across her soft curls. Even though she was a little pale from exhaustion and her hair was a bit snarled, she looked like a goddess to Anthony.

He took a deep breath. It even hurt to breathe sometimes. He knew he didn't have much longer. He had overheard his father talking with the doctor. The doctor said himself that he didn't think Anthony had more than a day or two left. Anthony remembered back to earlier that day. The doctor had just come into his room to see how he was doing. After leaving the room, the doctor stopped outside the door to talk to his father.

Doctor Hubbard's voice was hushed, making Anthony strain to listen to their conversation. "Mr. Hockley…these are very crucial moments. Although Anthony may look like someone with a typical cold or flu, he's not doing very well. From what I've seen, some of his most important organs are failing. I honestly don't know what to tell you. I've never experienced any cases like this one before. All that I know is that it doesn't look as though he has much time left. Maybe a day, two at the most. Nobody could survive something like this. I'm sorry to have to bring you such sad news Mr. Hockley. I'm doing the best I can to ease any pain he might be experiencing. I understand that he's planning on getting married." Nathan was stunned. He didn't know what to say. A single tear ran down his face until many more followed. He leaned against the wall, all emotional guards falling down in one big heap of sadness. "Mr. Hockley…"

"Yes…Rose. She's Anthony's fiancée. She's downstairs with my other son Caledon."

"Do you suppose I should inform her of his condition?"

Nathan looked around. He covered his eyes with one hand, using the other to stable himself against the wall. "I…don't know. I don't want to put such a burden on her shoulders. But I think she has a right to know after all."

"Very well then. I'm very sorry Mr. Hockley. Please call on me again if you should need me."

"Yes…I will. Thank you."

Doctor Hubbard tipped his cap and walked the remainder of the hallway and down the stairs.

Nathan Hockley dabbed his face as best he could with his handkerchief and went inside to his son's room. He stopped in the doorway and looked at his son's pale face. He couldn't bear to see his son like this. Instead of walking over to Anthony, Mr. Hockley turned around and went into his study, leaving a saddened Anthony behind.

Within moments of his father leaving, Rose quietly entered his room. If he looked close enough, Anthony could see Rose's reddened eyes and her tearstained cheeks. She walked over to him and sat on the side of his bed. She forced a reassuring smile as she gently placed her warm hand on his cheek. He loved the feel of Rose's hand on his cheek. The love shining through her eyes seemed to radiate through him.

"Rose…what's going to happen to me? I'm going to die, aren't I?" Rose's face suddenly clouded over.

Almost as if nothing were wrong, she told him, "Oh no Anthony. Don't talk like that. You're going to be just fine. Even Doctor Hubbard said so. There's nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be just fine."

Anthony looked up at her. He could see she was trying her hardest to keep from crying. He couldn't take this anymore. He had to hold his Rose. "Oh God Rose…come here." Anthony said as he pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to worry anymore Rose. I already know. I heard Doctor Hubbard talking to my father."

"Oh God Anthony! I love you so much. Don't leave me Anthony. Don't leave me." Rose said as tears freely flowed from both of them.

"I won't Rose. I'll never leave you. I'll always be with you my sweet Rose. I'll always be right here-"

Rose interrupted him, knowing all too well what he was about to say. She pulled away from him to look him in the eye. "Don't say it Anthony…please don't say it! You're not going to die Anthony. We're going to get married Anthony. And were going to have kids and grow old together. This isn't how it's going to end Anthony. Not for us."

"Rose, please. You know as well as I do that this is the way it was meant to be. It's happening for a reason Rose. But just remember…I'll always be with you; just like your father, remember? No matter where I may be, I'll always be right here in your heart. People go away Rose, but memories never die unless you will them to."

For the rest of that night and much to the dismay of the Hockley's and Rose's mother, Rose spent her last moments with Anthony rapped up in his loving arms. And when he died early the next morning, Rose cried her last few tears for him and went home. She knew that she would never forget him and the time they had shared together.

Months went by after that. By the time December rolled around, Ruth was becoming reckless. Now that Anthony had died, she had no way of escaping her bankruptcy. So she went back to the Hockley's. This time Nathan came up with the idea of marrying Rose and Caledon. Anthony's death was still on everyone's minds, but this would solve all problems both families were experiencing. Nathan could marry his son off to a beautiful young lady while Ruth had the peace of mind to know that she would be provided for.

So Rose and Caledon Hockley spent nearly everyday together. Rose was usually uncooperative with the whole matter but learned to change her ways of thinking when Ruth put the pressure and guilt of their financial situation on Rose's shoulders. And eventually, within months, Rose forced herself to like Caledon Hockley; maybe even love him. But both families knew the fake love that Rose and Caledon shared was nothing in comparison to Rose and Anthony's love for one another. But it would have to do.

By the time Rose was engaged to Cal for a couple of months, she became depressed and frightened of him. He was completely different with her now than he had been when they had been courting. His charm and romantic demeanor had completely vanished, replaced with a cruel and cold-hearted man. Many times had Rose tried to talk to her mother, begging her not to have them married. But Ruth refused.

Rose had all but given up in her freedom and love. She wanted a way out of this wretched world- anyway out. And so that night as Anthony watched and protected her from above, Rose decided to end her life. And that night, Anthony sent down an angel; one that could protect and love her for as long as they shall live. An angel to guide and protect her, love and cherish her, and have the a life with her that only Anthony could dream about. This angel was a man named Jack Dawson.


Chapter 9
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