Floyd Rose: A Fucking Genius, Part I

3/9/2002: Things around Night of the Living '80s have gotten very guitarified lately. I know that. There have been a lot of jokes that only guitar players get put on here lately (by the way, I was wrong about "Ride the Sky" on the Helloween page. Those are F#'s, not open E's. Stop e-mailing.) Sure, Floyd Rose made something that goes on guitars, which again, is very guitar player friendly. But! The idea of a Floyd Rose Tremolo System transcends the world of guitar. A Floyd Rose allows you to do those super-wicked torpedo drops with your guitar. It also lets you pull notes up so that you can squeal a note up into the stratosphere. Being able to do these things is integral to having a correct ('80s) guitar sound. Plus, once you get in tune (which takes a while) you won't have to tune for weeks. Floyd Roses were first put on Kramer guitars. Kramer is a guitar manufacturer that died in 1990. Their guitars were only for shredders or aspiring shredders. Here's a popular Kramer ad from the '80s.

If you look really closely, you can see that Eddie Van Halen is actually peeking through the window in fear. He is spying on the next generation of shredders that are out for his blood. It's not like today, where the nu-metal kids would be trying on work shirts and figuring out ways to tune their guitars even lower. Also, they would be eating, because every nu-metal band has at least two fat guys in it. They definitely wouldn't be practicing, because if they had a desire to be good guitarists, they wouldn't be in a nu-metal band.