<---Winter 1998: Hell, I don't remember exactly when this picture was taken, but I do know that I was 19-year-old senior in high school and that I look like a fucking wuss. I NEVER, EVER, WANT TO LOOK LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN, EVER! Heed my words, high school dudes: Don't be a lameo and wear what the cool guys are wearing. In each high school there are four dudes that bang all the hot chicks, leaving none for the rest of us. No amount of Abercrombie or Hilfiger will get you ass. Unless you're one of those four guys, just wear what you want.

October 2000: This is the last time I got my hair cut for a long time. That fucker Cody is already a longhair. Notice that I'm giving the old metal salute that was still allowed back then. In 2001, we (metal) decided that we aren't going to do this gesture any more. It had been watered down by it's use amongst the Britney Spears crowd. Ronnie James Dio invented it, and is now turbo pissed.

<---January 2001: Notice how much happier I am with just three months of hair growth! Am I fucked up at all? Hell no! I was considering making up another version of this picture with all of the male faces blurred out so that people could have extra fun at Night of the Living '80s, but I decided against it because it contains too many of the other guys' ex-girlfriends. Turbo pissed ex-girlfriends are bad.

March 2001: My hair isn't much longer here, but it sure is greasy! Armored Saint rules, so I wear this shirt too much. This was the night of my first band's debut show. It was an evening full of Sabbath and Priest and drinking jitters away.

April 2001: This was the last month that I was able to wear hats.

The legendary Kip Winger picture takes care of May.

This is at the end of the school year, sometime in mid-June. Being on quarters instead of semesters fucking sucks. At least my hair looks really long.

December 2001: Welcome to the frizzy stage. It's big, it's curly and people constantly called it an afro. Definitely a low point.