R/C CARS

I love radio-controlled cars. It's racing without the whole death thing, except for turn-marshalling 1/8 scale cars which weigh seven pounds and have three horsepower. Getting speared in the nuts by a 60-mph 7-pound titanium and aluminum bullet can hurt. These are some manufacturers and organizations in the world of R/C.  Currently I own a Team Associated RC10T3, a Clodzilla IV, and a Trinity Street Spec Stock car.

Team Associated makes the B3 and T3. They make serious race cars that avoid the dreaded neon-everything disease that struck the entire R/C industry in the late '80s and has not let go. Every other industry found the vaccine for this disease by 1994. Lately, the color purple has joined neon to become the dual-ailment plague of the R/C biz. Purple Fever struck the motocross and watercraft worlds in 1994, and they were able to get the purple monkey off their backs by 1997. Since the R/C companies are a little slow on the uptake, they didn't notice that purple was "cool" until 1998. Now every high end R/C car comes slathered in purple and neon yellow, except for Team Associated's. That, and the fact that Associated uses the blocky-letters-with-cutoff-corners font on everything make them the best overall R/C manufacturer.

This is ROAR. They are the sanctioning body for most R/C races. ROAR stands for Radio Operated Auto Racing, but I think it would whip a llama's ass if it was ROOOOOAAAR! -- Rokken' Outstanding Opossum O.J./Ozzy Operated Aboriginal Awesome Auto Racin'.

Team Losi also makes good R/C race cars, like the XXX. They are really good at stealing fast guys from Team Associated. As you can see, they have neon disease and their logo is butt-ugly. I came up with a better one:           

Trinity mostly makes R/C motors, batteries and accessories. Their website is pretty cool, other than the fact that the image on their splash page is so old that it leads me to believe that they still take Confederate bills for their products. Trinity's site has something called TechTalk, which is the official religion of most R/C racers.
C.R.C.R.C. (Columbus R/C Racing Club) is the track where I usually raced at (the rock and roll has really cut into the R/C time), and they put together a great racing program every week. They are an indoor off-road track in Hilliard, Ohio. They now have a flashy logo, which made my old Wingdings one obsolete.

CORCAR is an on-road track that races during the summer on Sundays. Back in my day, trying to catch their web page when it was actually up was a perilous journey where many men lost their lives. Most fell into the evil 404 cavern that is full of deadly Piranhacons. If you happened to catch their website during a fleeting moment of up-ness, you found out more about this well-organized track. Mega super happy update time 2000: They now have a permanent website that is not down nine months out of the year. Also, they race at Lowe's on Georgesville Road (Columbus, OH) now.

This link leads to esp's webpage. I figured that since they make the clodzilla, I should honor them by typing this in the font called "ESP". It adds to the experience, doesn't it? Of course, you can't see it unless you have the ESP font on your computer. Clodzillas have 10 inches of axle articulation (aka suspension travel). that's right, clown.

 

Fire up the DeLorian, set it to the eighties, and accelerate to 88 mph

 

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