THE SMELL OF GLASSES CASES by Jobellywot GT
This is an essay about the way in which glasses cases vary in the type of smell they produce. When they are opened, sometimes a horrific stink comes out which makes your nose shrivel up, or maybe, when the case opens, a pleasant smell hits your nose. Whatever that is, I'm going to try to find out more about this subject.
To start with a went to an opticians down a street in Harrogate. I don't know where, but it's near the new cafe that Spam calls "Nerd" and opposite QC's. I was in there with Miss Marshall while waiting for studious Spamantha to find a pair of glasses which looked elegant (yes, not elephant!) and sophisticated. This was going to take a while as Spam is too fussy and posh!!
While peering round the nicely furnished but very busy shop, I came (well not quite!!) and my eyes rested on a nice row of glasses cases. At this point I must mention the one which was alive and jumped off the shelf straight in the path of a rather frizzy haired, old age pensioner. She quickly put it back onto the shelf and said to her husband "Oh, isn't that nice dear, it reminds me of our curtains!"
The old woman was the later heard shouting "ROB!" loudly over the shop. As she turned round, I realised that it was Mrs Forest. She was looking at the row of milk bottles on the wall!
I had the started to get down to business, smelling the glasses cases. I spotted a lovely orange one that appeared to have spots of a rather sticky white substance on it (eerrgh!!). This one had a rather sweet smell, but not at all tasty! I then heard the word "John" and saw a couple walk into the shop. The males was a member of the ginger variety and was a bit on the flabby/saggy side. His wife, who had said "John", appeared to be a walking pair of glasses, they were ten times the size of her head!! They headed for the goggles section (swimming goggles I mean) and John started trying them on. He liked the green ones best and when the prescription was done, he wanted to wear them out of the shop. He then stopped on his way out to buy a special goggles case, it was also green and long (rather like the box they "misplaced" in the science department!). As they were leaving I noticed the shopping bags they were carrying. His wife had a Morrisons bag through which I could see some ginger biscuits. She then went up to Mrs Forest and started talking to her about how the cafe at Morrisons had been very busy as someone had eaten all the chocolate cake. She knew that Mrs Forest had been to morrisons as she coincidentally had Morrisons bags too. As she tried on some of the fashionable glasses out of the milk bottle range, a leg razor and deodorant fell out of her bag, Rob quickly picked them up for her.
Mrs Forest then told Mrs GT that she and Rob had been up in the Lake District the previous weekend and that the Morrisons in Cockermouth had been extremely busy so they had to travel to Cummersdale to find another supermarket. Mrs GT asked where Rob and Forest were staying, Forest answered, "with my relatives Paul and Paula in Burns". Mrs GT replied told Forest that they had visited their relatives up in Greatwood a few years ago. "Do you know it?" asked Mrs GT. Forest said "yes, it was a lovely forest, so thick".
During this conversation GT was still deciding between a green or orange case. Personally, I thought the green one smelt more of woods, a more natural smell that he would enjoy more. But he was struck with the orange one as it had a key ring to attach it to his belt and he thought the sticky substance on it was rather tasty.
Just then I noticed Patronising T walking in. Yes, he was wearing his thick rimmed black Hitler glasses. GT the opened the Greenwoods bag that he was carrying and pulled out his new swimming trunks, they were bright orange. He asked Patronising T his opinion and he just laughed. I could then see GT's temper rising, he was turning redder and redder, his face starting to clash with his hair. "Don't laugh at me!" GT screamed, grabbing Mrs GT by her huge glasses and dragging her out of the shop. He then came back in again, shouted some abuse at everyone and screamed, "we'll stcik to our own opticians in York next time!"
And the whole time he was still wearing the goggles and he appeared to have a wedgy as he waddled down the street. I then got back to my sniffing as everyone laughed in the shop. And finally Spam appeared to have found some glasses fo fit her requirements!