"Hey look at that poor security guard all by himself, lets go bring him a vodka."  -- Holly

"I love your quotes page! I always go there and its so funny!"  -- Alana

"Where's Pete and Fred? I bet they're talking about Ikea furniture"  -- Mark

"End eye waz so wazted eye could hardly waaalk. I had to gow ave a leye dawn"  -- Pete a Swedish guy ( I know that doesn't sound funny, but it is when your stoned and the person saying it has a heavy Swedish accent )

"I'm going to have so much fun I might die"  -- Matt

"Take care of yourselves girlies. Don't let any strange men talk to you little girls."  -- Terry to Fiona and her friends and Matt's female friends. ( Sorry about that Matt and Fiona hehe)

"This is Gerard, my new talking friend" -- Holly
"Well then go away and talk or something!"  -- Patrick

"Hey... Frankie....were out of coke"
"Shit...we'll have to drink it straight"  -- Frankie

"Jade pushed me"  -- Terry trying to blame Jade when he fell like 20 metres and pulled down a veranda, fell on a whole heap of people sitting on a chair, knocked one of them off and missed falling into the fire by like one centimetre.

"If everyone was like me there would be no war, no famine... the world would be a perfect place"  -- Matt being serious.

"I started feeling weird when I looked at all the hungover people and realised that they've been asleep and I haven't."  -- Daniel

"Have you got a cigarette?"  -- Michael when someone woke him up cause he was asleep in the driveway

"Then she took off the girdle and I saw the extra 10 kilo's"  -- Ben

"I'm not a hippie. I don't know why I always get called one"  -- Ben
"Cause all you ever talk about is goddamn tofu, that's why"  -- Shaun

"Lisa...guess what...I'm going to write a book about my life. Then I might even make it into a movie."  -- Matt. This is funny because he was serious.

"I cant look at the carpet cause it reminds me of mowing the lawn"  -- Patrick

"Lisa can you make the fan stationary?"  -- Jade

"Imagine instead of wearing clothes, you just wore a big ass doona everywhere"  -- Matt Wood

"Lisa, you are an anti-spasmodic"  -- Patrick

"Happy Beer"  -- Terry trying to say happy birthday while drunk.

"I just thought of something.... right now some people are asleep and some people arent asleep ....weird... I never realised that before"  -- Lisa while very stoned.

"I wish this toy was edible"  -- Patrick

"Hey... don't you think cigarettes look like those soldiers at Buckingham Palace?"  -- Patrick

"Well we no longer play the harp"  -- Jade

"WELL LOOK AT ME I'M YESTERDAYS HERO"  -- Terry waking everyone up.

"Harley, don't play in the fire without your shoes on"  -- Kerry (aah, stoners logic..)

"Excuse me you look like Ben Harper"  -- Lisa to our neighbour.

"Hey man don't take this the wrong way cos he's really cool, I don't know if you know him, but you look EXACTLY like Ben Harper. That isn't an insult."  -- Jade to our neighbour.

"Excuse me Ben Harper, we have been looking at you all day and we all think you're hot"  -- Lisa.

"HEEELLLLLOOOOO....I AM MR. BONG.......I AM GOING TO GET YOU STOOOOONNNNEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD"  -- Our neighbours.

"Mmmmbbbbbbrrrrmmmmuuubbbmmmmmmlaaaammmm"  -- The guy Jade liked

"Hey look! He just took his shirt off!!!!! Oh my GOD!!! He is SO hot....oh SHIT.."  -- Lisa when the hot guy took his shirt off and when she realised he heard every word she said

"THE EASTER BUNNY IS A FAT CUNT"  -- Some drunk guy

"Lets start a riot. Lets get acid and burn 'the rave tent is a hoax' into that field over there"  -- Matt

"Anyone got the scissors?" -- A guy (sorry you really had to be there)

"Top of the morning to you"  -- Steve

"Right, I'm from the CIA and you're all under arrest"  -- Steve
"The CIA men have the best dope"  -- Kathie

"Can you ask Holly if she's gay? I don't care if she is, its kinda cool"  -- Georgie

"Oh god are you my neighbours? I have to give you a neighbourly hug"  -- Lisa to her neighbours.

"GET THE DRUMS!!!"  -- A man behind us. We did. 

"I was like oh my god did that come out of my mouth? It had cat hair in it and it was foaming" -- Lisa its not as gross as it sounds.

"Bacon get the fuck away from me where the fuck do you get off talking about that?? you're an arsehole leave me alone what are you doing here anyway?"  -- Jade to the other Patrick

"Patrick what do you do?"  -- Lisa
"I'm a boilermaker"  -- Patrick
"What's that?"  -- Lisa
"He makes boils"  -- Kathie
"What?"  -- Lisa
"Metal"  -- Patrick
"Patrick what do you do again?"  -- Lisa
"I'm a boilermaker"  -- Patrick
"What does that mean?"  -- Lisa
"I'm a boilermaker"  -- Patrick
"What?"  -- Lisa
"He makes boils"  -- Jonno
"Why?"  -- Lisa
"Because I'm a boilermaker"  -- Patrick
"What's that?"  -- Lisa
Sorry its only funny when your stoned.

"PATRICK!! You came back!!!!!"  -- Lisa said this about 40 times and every time he came back they acted like it had been 5 years.

"Are you with them so they don't get shagged tonight?"  -- A guy To Lisey's mum

"John you came back man you have awesome karma"  -- Jade to Patrick

"Hey stop everyone Lisa's mum has to go to the toilet"  --Holly screamed this really loudly.

"WOODSTOCK!!!!!"  -- about a million strangers to Kathie

"Matt I want you to meet this guy"  -- Lisa
"Yeah I know him, he's Patrick!!  -- Matt
"You know each other!!! Weird!!! That is the biggest coincidence!!! Oh my god!!!!! Shit!!! How weird!!! How do you know each other?"  -- Lisa
"You've introduced us six times"  -- Patrick

"All my friends have gone soft. I have only got 3 presents. And I don't have a cake. And my mum couldn't come down to see me"  -- Mark aawwww how sad poor guy!!! =(

"Terry Shinagl, that sounds like name you'd pull out of your ass when your drunk"  -- Dave

"Yeah there's some really good photos of me. I want to blow one up really huge and put it on my wall hehe  -- Dave

"This is were everyone goes to have sex and do drugs. So don't go there with Terry"  -- Mark

"Skydiving is the best feeling in the world. You have to come with me one day." "but Matt you've never even been before" "That doesn't matter though... umm.. I just KNOW what is like okay?"  -- Matt

"See I know its wrong for people to play with your emotions. But what can I say? I'm a peaceful guy. Your brother is building up bad energy by trying to control your emotions. I don't want to interfere though cos I'm a pacifist.  -- Matt Wood

"Its not important who I am I'm calling for a friend. My friend who I'm calling for is the important one here." "Who's your friend?" "It doesn't matter who she is come over and you'll find out"  --Lisa and Paul

"I'm going to St Kilda to score." "No come over here we have all the drugs in the world and my friend to score with"  --Lisa and Paul

"Hi you're Paul and you like the Wu Tang"  --Lisa

"Don't fucking touch the guitar Danielle. If you wreck it I'll fucking kill you."  --Jade

"Matt are you going to start telling us about orgies?"  --Georgina to Matt Amos

"George its okay if you chuck on the floor you're my best friend you can chuck on my face if you want"  -- Lisa

"If you asked 30 people they would all agree that Matt Wood is a wanker"  -- Matt Amos

"Does Matt Wood think that Hawaiian shirts compliment his body shape?"  -- Lisa

"FUCK OFF DANIELLE! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!"  -- Jade

"Is this Matt Wood? If its Matt Wood I want to fuck you"  -- Holly to Paul's brother on the phone.

"LEAVE ME ALONE I'm here safe with my brother"  -- Lisa

"All men are bastards"  -- Kathie

"HELLO IS MATT WOOD THERE? TELL HIM I WOULD DO ANYTHING WITH HIM!!!!"  -- Holly screaming in the phone to Matt Woods mother.

"Hello is Matt there? Is this Matts mum? I'm very very fucking sorry, did I wake you? Well me and your son are very close. We are very close vertically."  -- Holly when she called Matts house for the 2nd time, at 4am

"See I know what boys are like. You think you can trick me but I know what you're thinking. You are all bastards with one thing on your mind. You are all fucking liars. See I speak from experience, I know. You're not going to call her, they never do. You're not going to call her are you?? Why are you even pretending you're going to?? You're not, are you?? You fucking user. You fuck my friend and think you can make up for it by buying us cigarettes? You're all the same. All of you! ALL OF YOU!!!"  -- Lisa part of the 20 minute speech she gave to Matt Wood while totally stoned off her face.

"Lisa that was harsh."--Matt After Lisa's speech, and just before he kicked us out of the car.

"I am so sad, he has a girlfriend. I just want to fucking kill myself. I love him. Shit shit SHIT I fucking love him. This is so unfair. I love him more than anyone. Ill never find anyone like him ever.........hmm...so, Matt, do you have any more cute friends?  -- Jade

"Where's Mash Foot?"  -- Holly trying to say Matt Wood while drunk

"I did not fucking flirt with him I was talking to him and trying to distract him but that's a lot different to fucking flirting with him"  -- Jade

"Are you going to try to put all of those in the car? Well....if theres a blackout tonight, we know who's fault it it don't we?"  -- Taxi driver

"No I'm clean, I'm a very clean person. I vacuum the carpet every single day."  --Holly when this lady took her coat of her.

"And then he's going to go home and watch a replay of the footy"  -- Terry I think u had to be there

"See, I look at you, and I can tell you are a beautiful person, on the inside and on the outside. I mean I know Lisa hates you, but I think she hates you because you are so alike. Its a personality clash. I can look at people and I see what they're like on the INSIDE. You are a fucking amazing person Sarah, I love you."  -- Holly to Sarah, who she had never talked to before in her whole life.

"No what ever he lacks in looks, he gains in personality"  -- Jade

"heeheheh Mark looks constipated"  -- Jade

"Yeah I wanna see toys kick arse"  -- Terry on small soldiers

"I fucking hate fruitcake. Cake shouldn't have fruit in it, because that defeats the whole purpose of eating cake. You eat cake cos its not fruit" and when everyone laughed when he said that.... "That's the best thing I've ever said...."  -- Jamie

"I use vitamin e cream every night when I get home from work. I don't want sandpaper hands"  -- Terry

"No I need these I'm going down to Frankston and I wanna smoke these"  -- Anthony after I ask him for his packet of cigarettes

"So you're accepting this, it's not easy being in a band"  -- Terry after he'd just smoked a bong and did like 1 km on the walking machine, we still haven't worked out what the fuck he was going on about

"UUaahhhhggghhhhhh I didn't get into Tranniiieeeees"  -- Jamie totally wasted and wondering why they wouldn't let him into a nightclub.

"That was good cause I don't have to clean it up"  -- Terry on smashing a glass

"Come on Terry be romantically destructive with me"  -- Lisa thinking she was with Grover

"And then I got to high school and discovered the canteen and then I got like 15 chins"  -- Jamie

"I think Terry want's to make a speech" "yeah uh happy birthday Matt"  -- Terry

"Put it on track twelve" "Oh you mean Olympia"  -- Lisa and Terry talking about 'Rockstar' by Hole

"FRANGA"  -- Jamie

People we know

"Get back on your mattress Walks"  -- Georgina about Jamie

"You don't love me anymore cos I'm a crippled ballerina with a tin leg"  -- Holly to her dad while stoned

"Hey man you play a mean bongo"  -- Georgina to a Jeff Buckley look a like at James' 21st

"17 , 17 you're so much fun
you're 2 times 9
minus 1"
-- Michael Andrew Smith