Chapter Thirteen - It's Toronto with palm trees

We arrived in Tel Aviv fairly early in the day. The first thing you notice when you enter that city is that it looks nothing at all like Jerusalem. It looks just like Toronto, but with palm trees. I was totally down with that. I didn't want to see any more Jerusalem stone for the rest of my life.

We visited Rabin Square first. That's where Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated. Since it had nothing to do with Judaism and very little to do with war, I was actually interested. It was something I could relate to, because it looked so much like home. We stayed in the square for a few minutes and then went to see the actual spot where Rabin was shot.

It's callous of me to say this, since a man died there, but it was neat. The locations of Rabin, his bodyguards, and the assassin at the moment of the assassination were marked on the ground, as well as the direction each bodyguard was facing. It was a moment frozen in time. A very effective monument. Across from where he was shot was a section of wall with Rabin-related graffiti and some commemorative plaques.

Rabin square. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

The section of sidewalk we're all standing around is where Rabin was shot. In the foreground is a monument of some kind. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

I can't read most of the Hebrew, but the top line of graffiti says "slichah". "Sorry". And the boldface in the middle of the right-hand side says "Yitzhak Rabin". [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

We finished up at Rabin square and went to our next destination, yet another outdoor market. This one actually was outdoors, while the one in Jerusalem was just shops on a street. Anyway, here is where I ate more hummus than any person should eat in a lifetime. Yuval took a bunch of us to a Lebanese restaurant where we had the hummus spectacular. Bowls of hummus prepared in various different ways, with pita for dipping. It was good, but man was it a lot of hummus.

Kyle, Ben, J.P., and Gill enjoying the hummus spectacular. [photo courtesy of Steve Somethingorother. There were too many Steves on our trip.]

Various people with more interest in shopping than me bought various things, including some gifts for Steve and Leah [lay-ah] to be given to them later, and then we moved on. The plan was to head to the beach and have our final boring discussion, but there was another option. I'm sure you heard on the news that there was a bombing in Tel Aviv while I was in Israel. I hope you weren't too worried. We were in Jerusalem at the time. But now we had the option to pass by the bombing site. We chose to do so.

I will not attempt to describe the actual result of the bombing, but there was something interesting about the aftermath. A sign just to the right of the bombed-out shop contained some graffiti reading "Am Yisrael Chai". "The nation of Israel lives". You may recall that that was what we shouted from the top of Massada when we were doing our acoustics experiment.

Am Yisrael Chai. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

After this brief stop we continued our walk to the beach. When we got there we continued walking. In fact, I could swear that we walked one way to get to the beach and were now walking the opposite way along the beach. I could be mistaken. In any case, it was pleasant enough. We all took off our shoes and felt the sand between our toes. There's not much of that going on in Toronto in the winter.

Speaking of winter, the beach was not very crowded despite the hot weather. A similar beach in Toronto would have been packed on an equivalent day. We still weren't in Kansas.

The Tel Aviv beach. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

When we finally got to the end of the beach, we found a grassy area and sat down for our final discussion. We spent approximately forever listing the most [insert adjective here] moments of the trip. I had nothing to contribute. I also had nothing to contribute when the discussion turned to what we could do for Israel when we got back home. I had nothing to contribute when . . .

Let's just say I had nothing to contribute.

In what was supposed to be an amusing portion of the discussion, Steve read out a last will and testament, in which he "left" various things to the birthrighters. Esther got a box of tissues because of her propensity for whining. Nika got the deed to a cigarette factory (well, not really) because . . . well, let's not get into that. I don't remember what I got, because I didn't get the joke. I'll have to ask if anyone remembers.

After that, we gave Leah and Steve our gifts. I am hard pressed to remember a single item that Leah got, but it was all very nice. I won't go into all the details of what Steve got, but let's just say that it involved Israeli porn. It was picked out by Yuval and Gill, if that gives you an indication of their thought processes.

The final discussion. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

Our next stop in Tel Aviv was independence hall, where Israeli independence from the British mandate was declared. The lecture we got there was somewhat propagandistic, but I enjoyed it anyway. Perhaps the exhaustion really was making me more suggestible. Anyway, after this we were given small cards to fill out where we were supposed to give the names and contact info of people we thought would benefit from the birthright trip. I just sat there like an idiot because I seriously could not recommend this trip, even though I know someone who is eligible. I was disgusted at the thought of inflicting the Canada Israel Experience's pressure on him by giving his contact info.

So I handed back my blank card, and then we left, but not before receiving a nicely framed copy of the group photo I already mentioned. The one they took at Yad Vashem.

Independence Hall. [photo courtesy of Steve Somethingorother]

Our final task in Tel Aviv before leaving Israel forever was to eat dinner. I never wanted to see or eat hummus again in my life, so naturally we had hummus. We went to a pretty nice restaurant in an obscure corner of Tel Aviv where the streets were far too narrow to allow cars to pass. This did not stop the crazy Israeli drivers. Anyway, we at dinner with the Montreal group (remember them?) in this restaurant. The appetizers included hummus and pita. I was hungry, so I ate some. The main course was meat on skewers. It was cute that that was exactly the same stuff as we had for our first meal when we arrived in Israel ten days earlier.

The banquet dinner. [photo courtesy of Steve Glowinsky]

The bathrooms in the place were interesting. The toilets had built-in microwave seat sanitizers. I was a bit wary of the dangerous radiation, but I was impressed by the high-tech nature of it all. You don't see much of that in Toronto, perhaps surprisingly.

After a competition (which almost came to blows) to see which group had the better bus driver, we finished up the meal and left for the bus. We had a brief argument about which was the correct way to get there, and then we were off.

At the bus we said the first of our goodbyes, to the people who had foolishly decided to stay beyond the required ten days in Israel. I arranged to sell my seventy remaining shekels to Nika for twenty Canadian dollars, and then hugged her, one of the ridiculous number of Aarons on our trip, and Jesse goodbye. We then boarded the bus and stranded those three in much the same way as we had done with the soldiers. I've heard from all three since then, so they must have made their way somewhere.

Well, we were back where we started, but we had a surprise guest! Shai had come to see Shira one last time. That was both sweet and heartbreaking, because it meant they had to say goodbye all over again. I did not envy either of them, and I later wrote this rant about it.

I should probably note that there is a chance I totally misread the situation. Nevertheless, these were my thoughts at the time.

We went through the usual customs stuff, but it was much less intense than on our way there. I guess they aren't too worried about people leaving Israel, just people entering. When I checked in, the lady asked me if I wanted a window or aisle seat, and I foolishly replied, "window," without thinking. If I had thought about it I would have realized that that was incredibly stupid. You see, on the way to Israel I had had an aisle seat and I regretted not having a window seat, because I wanted to see the land and water we were flying over. So I figured, "Yes, this time I'll get a window seat so I can see the miracle of flying." But I had forgotten to take into account the fact that it was nighttime and that we were going to be flying westward, so it was going to be totally dark out for the entire flight! I wouldn't get to see anything, and I would just have the inconvenience of not being on the aisle. By the time I realized this, it was too late to change it.

The group was supposed to stay together, so while everyone else was checking in, those of us who had finished plunked ourselves down right in the middle of the floor. An airport official soon came to shoo us away, so we moved to a corner where we wouldn't block traffic.

Finally everyone finished checking in. We did a role call and then moved into the terminal. We went through more security and then agreed to meet at the gate about half an hour before boarding time. So about fifteen minutes into boarding time, after all the slow-ass birthrighters had finally showed up, we boarded the plane. I was sitting in the window seat next to an Israeli woman without any Canadians to talk to, but it was just as well. I slept for about half the flight, which is pretty good for me. I also wrote this, my final rant.

So there you have it. When we arrived in Toronto we waited forever for our bags, said our final goodbyes, and were off to resume our real lives.

Conclusion