JOEY: I can't believe you, Pacey. Just when I think I have you all figured out, you do something like this... something outrageous, something that challenges me in a way no one else would even think of. And in case I don't say it enough. Thank you.
JOEY: I'm not meant to. Isn't that obvious by now?
PACEY: Because you're sixteen and alone.
JOEY: Because I'm sixteen and in my entire life there's only been two people that have ever really known me. Dawson and...
PACEY: -- This A.J. didn't know you. I don't care how you felt about him. He didn't know you, Joey. Because if he did, he never would have walked away from you.
JOEY: I was gonna say you, Pacey.
ANDIE: You know, I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying earlier, about boys being twits. And I think you’re right... but there’s more to it than that. ‘Cause, you know... sometimes all they have to do is just look at you, with that certain look, that look that says that you are exactly where they want to be... and you feel it too, for them... and you just melt. Like a big blob of ice cream. Even when you don’t want to. Pacey used to give me that look. Right before he’d kiss me. Made my knees weak.
DAWSON: ...Faith that things will work out for the best. That whatever sent us off in different directions is the very same thing that will...
JOEY: ...bring us back together? I take it back. You haven’t changed one bit. You’re still an eternal optimist.
DAWSON: Maybe. It’s just... I’m starting to forget why. JOEY: Why what?
DAWSON: Why we’re not together.
JOEY: Awful. That’s how I feel. Awful.
PACEY: You don’t think this whole situation makes me feel awful. Tonight, when I kissed you. I never felt happier and worse all at the same time. When I think of Dawson finding out... or Andie... It kills me, Joey. It destroys me to have these feelings. But I do.
DAWSON: It’s a simple question, Joey. Do you need him like you need me?
JOEY: Those things don’t have anything to do with each other. The way I feel about him is totally separate from the way I feel about you and about our friendship.
DAWSON: What friendship? As of this moment, we don’t have a friendship. You don’t get to have us both. You can’t have him as your boyfriend and me as your consolation prize. You have to choose. And if you choose him, I won’t be there to pick up the pieces when it falls apart. And it will fall apart. So it better be worth it. If you do this, there’s no going back. This ruins everything, Joey.
DAWSON: Joey, c’mon. Even I can see it. Pacey is this year’s Paris. And you need to go this time. You need to see for yourself. I can sit here and tell you that it’s a colossal mistake, that all roads lead back to me, but it doesn’t matter. Words, speeches... they sound great, but they don’t add up to anything. All that matters right now is what you want.
JOEY: I don’t even know what that is.
DAWSON: Sure you do. You want him. You want him like I want you. You love him like I love you. Only the difference is he loves you back the same way.
JOEY: I think I'm in love with you.
PACEY: You think you are, or you know?
JOEY: I know it. I've know it since the moment we kissed, and maybe even before that. And as scary as it is, I don't want to deny it anymore. I don't want to run from it or let it run from me.
PACEY: So what are we going to do here?
JOEY: I'm still not gonna ask you to stay.
PACEY: I see...
JOEY: Because I want to go with you.
PACEY: Wait a second... are you crazy?
JOEY: I want to stop standing still. I want to go forward. I want to go with you, Pacey.
PACEY: What about Bessie and the B&B -- they need you.
JOEY: Not as much as I need you.
JACK: Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?
JOEY: Thanks Jack. That's helpful.
JACK: That's the point. You don't need help. There's nothing to figure out here. There's only what you feel.
JOEY: What I feel is fear.
JACK: I'm not telling you to sleep with Pacey...
JOEY: But...
JACK: All the really exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have. A deep breath and a leap. See Joey, the kind of fear you’re talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile
PACEY: What do you think is going to change? What scary, unfathomable thing do you think is gonna happen?
JOEY: I don't know, Pacey. You tell me. You’ve been there.
PACEY: No, I haven't. Not with you. You said you wanted us to be scared together. But you won't tell me what you’re scared of... And I think you know, but you just won't say it. You won’t say his name.
JOEY: Dawson?! No, no, no -- that is not fair, Pacey! You can’t bring his name up every time this relationship hits a wall.
DAWSON: At a certain point, the whole thing just becomes too much to process, and your brain gets taken out of the loop, and all you have to rely on is your heart, your natural human instincts. It's liberating... not at first of course, at first it's terrifying, like falling... but that's the point, isn't it?
JOEY: What's that?
DAWSON: If we weren't so afraid to let go, we wouldn't feel so free when we finally did
PACEY: You're gonna throw it away?
JOEY: The wrapper, yes.
PACEY: If this is about --
JOEY: -- It's about you carrying my bag off the bus yesterday. It's about how at the movies, when you get the popcorn you bring me a napkin so I don't have to wipe the butter on my jeans. Or how last week, at miniature golf, you made sure you always shot first so I could see which path worked best.
PACEY: That was just --
JOEY: -- You taught me to drive. You knew the bracelet I wore to the prom last year was my mother's. You kissed me first and you counted to ten before you kissed me again in case I wanted to stop you. You...you bought a wall for me.
PACEY: I didn't so much buy it as --
JOEY: -- Three months alone on a boat and you understood without a word why I wasn't ready.
Do you really have to ask now why I am? So... in about ten seconds, I'm going to start kissing you. And if you don’t want me to... well, then I guess you’re just gonna have to stop me.
Ten.
Lines from the Script of Episode
#420 "Promicide":
JOEY: So, you really like my dress?
PACEY: I believe I already used the word "radiant".
PACEY: I'm not sure... I don't know what the future holds. But it doesn't hold what they think it does.
DRUE: Now, come on, Jennypenny --
JEN: -- why are you doing this, Drue? Honestly, you can't be enjoying this.
DRUE: No, but Jack offered me fifty bucks to follow you around all night, and I plan on to get paid in full. I'll go get us some punch, honeybun.
JEN: Oh pu-leaze. Like you wouldn't want me to get caught. Like you don't live for other people's misery.
DRUE: Not yours.
DAWSON: Don't worry. That wasn't a question. You know, for the longest time, I was waiting to love someone like I loved you. But somewhere along the way I realized: that's not gonna happen. And it's okay. You were my first love, when I was a romantic kid. But you gotta grow up sometime.
JOEY: I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way I loved you, either. And that's a good and a bad thing.
JEN: Drue, what if I told you that I don't wanna go back to New York. That I hate New York. That I've changed, and I'm afraid to admit it. I've been trying to push myself so hard lately, to go back to New York for school next year, to toughen up, you know -- like I have something to prove. But I'm afraid, Drue. It's like that place is filled with all the demons there, I don't think I can take it. Going back this last time was better but I'm not... I can't do it... You think I'm weak, don't you?
DRUE: You know what I think? I think that you should never go backwards when you can go forwards. You are gonna go to some new school next year, in some new city, someplace you've never lived before, and everyone is gonna wanna be your friend. Who's that hot girl in the corduroy pants, they'll say. She sure looks smart and sophisticated even though she can't really hold her liquor. You are gonna kick some serious ass. And that ain't weak, Jen. That's pretty damn strong.
PACEY: You know, last year -- I could give you something no one else could. I could give you a wall to paint a mural on, I could sail you around on a boat for a whole summer, I could give you that night on the ski trip -- but I'm spent now, Jo. I've got nothing left to give. And it makes me angry that you'd stay with me even after I've become what I've become.
JOEY: What have you become? You're just you, you're a good person and I love you--
PACEY: -- Joey, I've become someone who hates himself so much he can't even look in a mirror. And I wish being with you didn't make it worse but it does. Because the more you love me in spite of all this, the angrier at you I get... and the more I stop loving you back.
JOEY: How long have you felt this way?
PACEY: I don't know. And I know it isn't right. I know my failures have nothing to do with you, but if we stay together, I'm just gonna keep taking it all out on you -- like I did in there tonight. That was horrible, Joey, and I know all this is totally my fault. I can't keep treating you like that - but I know I won't stop treating you like that.
JOEY: I've got news for you -- how you treat me, is actually totally in your power.
PACEY: Joey, look at me... Senior year is over. We're two different people, heading in two different directions. There's no boat in the sunset this time. There's Boston and there's Capeside.
JOEY: You break my heart into a thousand pieces and you say it's because I deserve better? How dare you?
JOEY: This isn’t about Dawson and you know it. So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?
PACEY: Watching you dance with him just now, I realized it’s the happiest I’ve seen you all night. The happiest I’ve seen you in weeks, in fact. ...But you wanna know what’s worse? I never thought I’d say this -- I can’t believe I’m saying this, but: I don’t care. I don’t care that you were dancing with Dawson. I’m not hurt, I’m not jealous, I’m not anything. That’s what’s going on, Joey.
JOEY: Great. Then how ‘bout we take this “nothing” outside.
PACEY: So you can clean up my mess again. No. You wanted me to take off the happy mask? Here it goes: why are you with me?
JOEY: Pacey --
PACEY: -- Because I don’t know why I’m with you. I used to, but not anymore.
JOEY: I’ll make a note of that.
PACEY: What I do know is that I’m tired of how I feel when I’m with you. Like your good deed -- the designated loser, the big fat failure -- that’s not who I am.
JOEY: I never said it was. Ya know -- this isn’t about me, Pacey, it’s about you --
PACEY: No... It is about you. And how being with you makes me feel like I’m worthless, and stupid, and never right. But you know what? I realized something. It isn’t my fault. When I’m with you, I’m poor-Pacey he didn’t get into college, I’m stupid Pacey got the airport limo or ruined the corsage or ripped the dress --
JOEY: -- I said I don’t care about that stuff!
PACEY: I want you to care, Joey. I don’t want you to just accept it. Because right now, we’re not just trapped on a boat, we’re trapped in this relationship, and I can’t take it anymore. Being with you makes me feel like I’m nothing. I don’t do it to myself. You do it to me every day and you don’t even see it. That’s why I flinch when you get near me. That’s why I can’t bring myself to touch you, why the last thing I want is to touch you...
JOEY: Are you done?
PACEY: I can keep going if you want.
JOEY: No Pacey, you can stop. And then, you can just go to hell.
PACEY: It’s not your fault, Jo. None of this is your fault. You are not the reason we broke up. I am.
JOEY: But you said --
PACEY: -- I know what I said and how I said it, and I get sick every time I think about it. Blaming you for my insecurities. Making you feel guilty for all of your accomplishments when you should be nothing but proud. Because I am so proud of you.
JOEY: I know you are.
PACEY: But I haven’t shown you that. Instead I turned into the s tereotypical guy who can’t handle the fact that his girlfriend has a better job than him. I hate that guy.
JOEY: You’re not that guy, Pacey.
PACEY: But I feel like him. Because as much as I want to not care, as much as I wish I could let it roll off my back... I can’t. I was so jealous last night. Not of you, but of all those kids who are going to get to experience you next year. They’re gonna get to be with you, and I’m not.
JOEY: I was so certain that Kubelik’s offer was going to be the answer to all of our problems. A sign, you know?
PACEY: I know. And I think it was. It just wasn’t the sign we were hoping for. But at least we got a better ending this time around. I’m grateful for that.
JOEY: Me too.
