If Fate Exists
by: Ash Kenobi
Rating: PG
Keyword(s): Jedi, Obi-Wan story
Summary:Obi-Wan contemplates life after his masters death while awaiting
Qui-Gon's funeral and questions his abilities as a Jedi.
Type: Very angsty. Lotsa mood and sadness. It's just not a happy story
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Authours notes: READ THEM! THEY'RE IMPORTANT! First off, this is my first Star Wars fanfic. Well, the first one I've actually posted. So bear with me. This ISN'T my first fanfic ever so I do know how this works. But, I'm just saying that I've never taken on the case of Star Wars yet. Anyway, I'm a huge Obi-Wan fan, always have been always will be. Loved Alec Gunniess, ADORE Ewan McGregor. So this is, obviously, An Episode One fic. Some people didn't like it, but I did so they can bite me. (: Anyway, this is a story about what was going on in Obi-Wan's head during Episode One when his master is killed and directly before Qui-Gon's funeral. (I really didn't think Obi-Wan got the attention he deserved in this movie ): And this story I wrote BEFORE I read the novel so if some of it is wrong then sorry. Also I almost always refer to Darth Maul as ‘Sith' in this story because it's told from more of Obi-Wan's POV so you might have noticed that he never actually knew what Darth Maul's name was. I'm I right? It's pretty short..kinda. But a person's got to start somewhere right? Enjoy!

Another example of how a little theme music can take you a long way. Lotsa love to John Williams who accompanied me through this ride through hell.

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. All characters, planets, aliens and galaxies far, far away belong to my hero and yours, George Lucas And Lucas Films. May he live forever.


AT NABOO

Obi-Wan Kenobi looked through the red glowing field that trapped him. On the other side of the field in a flurried mass of black and brown robes and clashing, shimmering lightsaber blades were his master, Qui- Gon Jinn and the mysterious Sith that had plagued their mission and their minds at Naboo for days.

Watching his master fight, Obi-Wan felt a lump growing in his throat. He couldn't help his master until the field was down and Obi-Wan was unaccustomed to feeling so helpless. He was just a Padawan and with the skill this Sith was showing would he and Qui-Gon even be able to defeat him?

Calm, He told himself, I MUST be calm...

Turning back to the battling Jedi and Sith, Obi-Wan watched as his master lifted his green glowing blade to intersect the Sith's double bladed red one. The Sith continued the attack, forcing Qui-Gon back to the back wall and farther and father from his young Padawan.

Obi-Wan was getting a bad feeling in the back of his mind. It was both his gift and curse. Although he had a innate ability to see strongly into the future, he tended to not take notice of the living Force. It was something that had gotten him in deep trouble on many occasions. Times that Qui-Gon had to come get him out of. Obi-Wan whirled back to his master with a wisp of premonition.

The Sith brought the lightsaber down quicker then both Jedi thought possible. Qui-Gon blocked it, anticipated the next blow, blocked it too...but then the Sith swung his lightsaber low. Qui-Gon couldn't quite stop it in time.....

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Obi-Wan cried, almost feeling the pain and agony his teacher was going through as the Sith warrior jabbed one end of his lightsaber straight through the form of his master. Qui- Gon's lightsaber fell from his fingers, no longer controlled, and clattered to the floor. Seconds later, Qui- Gon's crumpled form followed it.

No, no, no, no NO! Obi-Wan's mind screamed, over and over. What followed where a hurricane of unwanted emotions. Sadness, pain, fear and anger.

The Sith turned his killer intentions next to the trapped Obi-Wan. There was amusement in the evil man's eyes as he regarded the fear in Obi-Wan. He mocked the young Padawan silently as Obi-Wan fought back angered tears, his eyes still transfixed on his fallen master.

Spinning his double bladed saber the Sith awaited the shut down of the field. Obi-Wan finally pulled himself together and turned to the man who had murdered his master. Using the Force to yank away the choking emotions, he let out a long breath. Igniting his lightsaber and battling undesired fear he got ready to battle the dark menace that had burdened him since he and Qui-Gon had first been assigned this mission.

Do not be afraid my young Padawan, The voice of Qui-Gon Jinn reassured his mind.

The field dropped and Obi-Wan leaped forward already blocking the Sith's first swing. Obi-Wan jabbed up and then flipped backwards over the low lightsaber blow. Obi-Wan was once again shocked at the skill of his opponent. With all the Sith supposedly dead he wondered where this man, or whatever he was, got the training from. And if this man was but the student, then what would the power of his teacher be?

As if reading his mind the Sith's eyes gleamed. In fact, the Sith, Darth Maul, wanted to laugh at him. Here Obi-Wan was... Merely a very young apprentice, alone, his master near death, fighting a powerful Sith warrior. It was only a matter of time before the small Jedi padawan lost his footing.

Obi-Wan blocked another shot, his mind whirling. Obi-Wan slashed harder, this time with better results as the lower red blade was chopped off. Reaffirming his grip on his now one sided blade the Sith rebounded the hit. Obi-Wan anticipated the next slash but he felt himself stumble slightly. This was enough of an opening for the Sith. He lashed out with a kick hitting Obi-Wan squarely in the chest, smacking the blue bladed lightsaber from his fingers and knocking him backwards into the large intake pit.

Crying out softly, Obi-Wan lashed out trying to grab something, ANYTHING to stop his deadly fall. His hands found a small outcropping and he grabbed it tightly, pushing out a shaky breath. Looking down, Obi- Wan came face to face with a dark endless pit. The fall would surely kill him, even he was almost a Jedi.

Shoving down a burst of terror and eyes wide, Obi-Wan gazed up at the Sith warrior who now had him at his will. He could feel the Sith's anger and triumph, as he gazed down at the helpless Jedi. Cruelly, the dark man kicked Obi-Wan's fallen lightsaber into the pit. It rattled along the sides until it disappeared.

A brief flare of hopelessness flickered through the young Jedi. He was trapped. His fingers were giving away painfully and not even the Force could help him. Even if he COULD get out of this pit he'd have no way to defend himself from the Dark Lord bent on destroying him. It didn't matter anyway. As he scrambled his feet along the smooth sides of the pit trying to keep himself from falling he'd realized he was too weak to do anything that could save himself now.

But he had to survive. Qui-Gon was still alive! Barely breathing at all but still there. If he could get out of here and get to his fallen master he could still save him....but how?

Suddenly remembering his master's dropped lightsaber a plan began to formulate inside his head. Before the Sith could react Obi-Wan weakly called the lightsaber to him and flipped up out of the pit. The Darth's eyes went wide as the Jedi Apprentice used all of the strength he had left and sliced him through. Falling backwards the man who was Darth Maul tumbled into the pit, cut straight in half and disappeared soundlessly into the depths below.

Obi-Wan breathed loudly, he'd won. Luckily, but he'd won. For a few seconds he gazed into the pit. A place that a few seconds ago had almost been his grave. Then his blue eyes fell on the fallen Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan ran to his master, falling on his knees beside him.

Lifting the elder man's head, Qui-Gon looked at his Padawan and the emotions that lay in the young man's eyes, "It's too late Obi-Wan." He said softly.

Obi-Wan shook his head in quiet denial, "No." He cried.

"Obi-Wan take care of the boy, train him." Qui-Gon muttered, trying to ignore his apprentice's agonizing pain. "He is the chosen one. Promise me Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly not trusting his voice. Qui-Gon reached out putting his hand over Obi-Wan's. "He IS the chosen one." Qui-Gon's vision was fading away and things were slipping. Slowly, his head fell back and a ripple went through the Force as Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn died.

"No Master!" Obi-Wan cried, this time not denying the tears he buried his face in his dead master's clothes and cried silently.


Obi-Wan wasn't sure how long he stayed at his master's side before he pulled himself together. He had to make sure the Queen was alright. He had to honor his promise to his late teacher and find young Anakin Skywalker. He needed to get back to the Jedi council with news of this Sith that had almost destroyed him. He had to make sure Naboo was safe.

So why was it so hard to leave his master's side?

Probably because that's where he had been for his entire life. Where Qui-Gon Jinn went so did young Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was Qui-Gon who had discovered him, rescued him from a life with his abusive parents and had been a teacher, a friend and a father to him for close to 20 years. No, he wouldn't let go for a long time. The image of the Sith cutting down the only family...the only friend...he had ever had would remain in his mind for a very long time.

Realizing his master's hand still lay on top of his, he slowly stood up and walked towards the door. But he didn't take his gaze off the man that was his family until his body had disappeared completely from sight.

He walked down the stone hallways and marble corridors walking faster and faster from where the atrocity had occurred. Realizing his eyes were still red and teary he picked up his Jedi cloak from the hangar bay and slipped it back on drawing up the hood to shield his grief stricken face.

He arrived in the throne room minutes later. Young Queen Amidala was seated at her throne talking on an intercom. There was a warm and triumphant smile on her face.

"You have resolved camp eight?" She said, "Good. Now move onto the next camp and if you see Boss Nass...yes, of the Gunga...tell him, thank you. And congratulations."

Obi-Wan took a tentative step forward finding tired joy in the fact that the other missions had been successful and Naboo was officially freed. In actuality the last few hours had been such an emotional drain he thought he was very near collapse.

Amidala noticed Obi-Wan's entrance and smiled, closing off her communication and walking up giving him a tight hug. Never since he and Qui-Gon had arrived here had he seen the girl so happy.

"Obi-Wan! You're alright! So it's fair to assume that that man who has been haunting us has been ‘taken care of'?" She said the warm smile still dancing on her face.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, "Yes...yes he has."

Suddenly, she frowned, "So where's Qui-Gon? I hope he's not looking for Ani, because we just got word that he was doing a little space hopping and took down that droid control center. It seems that little boy is quite the hero. He should be back in a few minutes."

"Oh really?" Obi-Wan muttered, looking out from under the hood. He was proud of Ani. He had defied Qui-Gon's orders to stay out of trouble and Obi-Wan still had his doubts about the boy but those doubts were slowly diminishing and this story certainly helped.

Noticing the strange tone of Obi-Wan's reply her frown deepened, "Where's Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan shook his head sadly, trying to find the words but failing. Amidala walked up, pushing his hood back and looking at his pain filled eyes.

Gasping, she stepped back and covered her mouth with her hands, "Oh, no."

"He's gone." Obi-Wan said finally, "He died in the battle. The Sith warrior.....killed him."

She gazed at Obi-Wan with disbelief in her eyes, which quickly changed to pity. "Oh, Obi-Wan I'm so sorry."

He nodded, not wanting to speak, he was too tired to answer. He walked over taking a seat at one of the throne room's forum repulsor chairs and ran his hands through his short reddish, brown hair. "I couldn't help him....I failed him."

"No!" Amidala cried, "Listen Obi-Wan..." She came and sat down beside him, looking across to the guards in the room and dismissing them with a wave of her hand then turned back to him. "Obi-Wan...Your master loved you a lot. I saw the way he looked you, he was very proud of you. You were like a son to him and you know that."

Obi-Wan nodded, obviously not wanting to talk about it. Sniffling and fighting back the tears again he gazed at the floor. "He's...he's still in the generator room....."

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "We'll send someone to get him don't worry. But you should get some sleep Jedi, you look horrible."

Obi-Wan fought a grin, "Thank you very much your majesty."

Just then he heard a small voice bellowing down the hallway, "And then I blasted the--" Anakin Skywalker entered the throne room with an exhilarated look on his face.

"Padme! Obi-Wan! Guess what!? I was in that ship and I went up with R2 and I didn't mean to but I blew that entire round ship apart!" He said running to give the Queen a hug. Obi-Wan smiled at the small blond haired boy.

"Obi-Wan, where's Qui-Gon? I wanna tell him everything!" He said. Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, not exactly relishing the idea of telling two different people about Qui-Gon's death in the same hour. Amidala placed her hands on Ani's shoulders and sighed loudly.

"Listen Ani," She said, "Obi-Wan's been through a lot okay? Why don't we just leave him alone for a while?"

"But--"

"C'mon Ani, it sounds like you have much to tell me. Why don't we go to my room?" She said leading him to the door. On her way out she leaned over to the guard near the door, "Make sure Obi-Wan gets to a room, I'm worried about him." Then casting one last worried glance at the young Jedi, she and Anakin disappeared.

For a few minutes Obi-Wan just sat there contemplating what this all meant. It now meant he was alone in the world, his master no longer there to help him or save him. No one to talk to, no one to trust, he hadn't realized how isolated he was without the company of his teacher. Now who would he tell his problems to? Who would guide him through life? He was a very lonely man in a very high society.

"Jedi Kenobi?" The guard asked finally. "Shall I show you to a room?"

Obi-Wan nodded, he needed to talk to Master Yoda or the Jedi Council anyway. And despite everything, sleep sounded wonderful. Following the guard out the door he wondered briefly about Jar Jar Binks, the accident prone Gungan who'd accompanied them. He wondered if he'd survived the droid battle..but thinking about how many times the Gungan had inadvertently got himself in trouble and the fact he wasn't dead already told him that his strange friend was probably just fine.

He entered a tall, round guest room of the Naboo palace and the guard bowed and left. Leaving Obi- Wan truly alone once again. Sighing he looked at himself in one of the tall mirrors. The queen had been dead right. He DID look like a wreck. Slowly cleaning himself up he walked over to the computer and hit in the com code for Coruscant.

He was NOT looking forward to this conversation with the Council. But as he keyed through to the main chamber he gazed at the wary eyes of Master Yoda and Mace Windu and knew that they were already very well aware of his master's demise.

"Say it is not so, young Padawan." Mace Windu asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "No, Master Qui-Gon is....has passed away."

"Weary are you, young Obi-Wan," Yoda said, "And afraid."

Well, there was no sense in lying here, "Yes Master Yoda."

"Come we will to Naboo," Yoda muttered, "Pay our final respects to your master we will....for deserve them does he."

"Thank you Masters."

"Rest now, padawan," Mace Windu said.

Obi-Wan nodded absently.

" Bothers you something else does Obi-Wan." Yoda said, seeing right through him.

"Yes masters, the young boy...Anakin." Obi-Wan said, "If it's alright with the council I'd like to submit candidacy for me to train him."

"You?" Windu asked, "But you are merely a Padawan yourself!"

"My master told you himself that I am ready to take the tests," Obi-Wan protested. "And it would honor his dying wishes."

"Consider this we will Obi-Wan," Yoda nodded, "And a decision I will give you when we arrive on Naboo."

"Thank you Masters. I await your arrival." Bowing low he turned off the transmission.

Turning to the bed he slipped out of his cloak, collapsed on the bed and was asleep in seconds.


FIVE HOURS LATER

Queen Amidala of the Naboo strode up to Obi-Wan's guestroom feeling much more regal back in one of her more formal dresses. Smoothing out the purple fabric she tapped lightly on the door. When she got no answer she frowned and tapped again.

Already getting annoyed she pushed the entrance pad and the door whizzed open. Taking a step inside she realized why she hadn't gotten an answer . The young Jedi lay sprawled out on the round, smooth bed, his head buried in the piles of pillows. He was breathing lightly and she had to do everything she could to keep herself from smiling at how much younger he looked than he already did when he was asleep. She couldn't blame the man for resting. A couple of her guards had went to retrieve Qui-Gon's body and not only did they find his body but they said there were huge lightsaber gashes on the floors, walls and walkways all over the generator room and the security cameras that had caught the battle made it seem like it was one hellavu fight.

Amidala walked over to the bed and idly scooping up a blanket from one of the chairs draped it over the sleeping Apprentice. Then she sat back and watched him sleep. Thinking back to when she had first met the Jedi, those few days ago when they'd dropped from the bridge and rescued them from the droids and then pledged life and limb to her protection. Back then she'd thought them crazy. They were brash and unreasonable putting full faith on what they felt instead of what they knew to be true and right in front of them. Though she'd heard many rumors of the Jedi the tall, gentle, almost fatherly Qui-Gon Jinn and his young, short, stubborn and soft spoken apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi was NOT what she was expecting at all.

She had found it hard to trust the judgements of someone who told you to believe them on the pretenses that he knew something to be true but he couldn't explain how. But over the few days the two Jedi visitors had been invaluable. Pulling off stunts she didn't believe was even in the parameters of human ability and showed an innate talent to know exactly what to do. They worked beautifully as a team, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, always knowing what the other was thinking and feeling and trusting each other so completely it scared her. She could only imagine what Obi-Wan was going through with the death of Qui- Gon.

She had only known Qui-Gon for a few days and she'd learned to truly love the man for his caring and trusting manner. The way he watched over Ani and made it clear to her that he cared deeply about the fate of her people. It was sometime on Tatioone that Amidala had decided that these Jedi wouldn't let her down. They'd help her or die trying and that had touched her beyond words. The night before the pod race Amidala had talked to Qui-Gon about the Force and the Jedi and from what she'd gathered Obi-Wan had been at the side of the venerable Jedi Master for almost 20 years. A master/apprentice relationship was almost deeper than a family connection. This loss was much worse than Obi-Wan was showing.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan stirred in the bed, rolling to one side and then back. Amidala frowned as deep knowing filled her. A nightmare. He was having a nightmare. Afraid of startling him, Amidala watched silently as he shot up in the bed and pushed the blanket off himself.

"QUI-GON!" He cried. Then breathed heavily and gazed around frantically obviously forgetting where he was. Then things seem to fall back in place and he sighed again, this time in sadness.

"Are you alright?" She asked, speaking up.

Noticing her with mild surprise, he nodded, "Yeah....that uh, happens sometimes. I'm sorry your highness. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Amidala laughed quietly, "Like it or not Jedi, you are my friend now and I insist you call me Amidala."

Obi-Wan smiled slightly and moved to sit at the end of the bed , "Sorry, Jedi are supposed to be polite. It comes with years of training. So where's Ani?"

"Asleep." Amidala said, "I told him about Qui-Gon. I figured you'd been through enough already."

Obi-Wan nodded thankfully, "How did he take it?"

"Not well," She muttered quietly, "But that's to be expected, he's afraid."

"He's not the only one." Obi-Wan said burying his head in his hands.

"You are a strong Jedi Obi-Wan, you'll get through this." Amidala replied.

Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow, "And I suppose Qui-Gon told you that?"

"Yes," She nodded, "He said you are very strong. He had great faith in you."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, "I'm glad someone did."

"Is that the way a Jedi should talk?" She scolded.

"Probably not." He said.

"And what is to happen to Anakin now?"

"I've talked to the Council and asked them if I can train Ani." Obi-Wan replied. "The leaders of the Council will be arriving by tonight . They will have a decision by then."

A smile found it's way to Amidala's lips, "See! There you go....Senator Palpatine is the newly appointed Supreme Chancellor and he will be arriving tonight also. Maybe it will be the best time to say goodbye to Qui-Gon. I would like to thank your master for all of what he's done for my world."

"He did it willingly," Obi-Wan said softly, "There are no regrets....Tonight it will be then."

"Then I will see you then Obi-Wan. And will I be expecting you for the celebration and the treaty signing with the Gungans tomorrow?" She asked, getting to her feet.

Obi-Wan smiled, "Wouldn't miss it."

Amidala walked to the door way and was about to step out when she turned back to the Jedi. "Obi- Wan?"

Obi-Wan raised his blue eyes, "Yeah?"

"Thank you...for everything."

He nodded, "No one ever said the Jedi life was easy."

She turned and left. There was regret in her. She felt bad that she had dragged the two Jedi into this. Even if they DID willingly do it. Especially since only one of those Jedi would go on living.


QUI-GON'S FUNERAL

Obi-Wan stood watching as the last remains of Qui-Gon Jinn smoldered in front of him. There was no more emotion. He was pretty sure he'd used it all up. It was more now just a gnawing pain that wouldn't seem to go away. He was wondering if the day would EVER end. He kept his hood up, his face hidden from Yoda and Mace Windu who were regarding him and Qui-Gon and talking quietly amongst themselves. It was no secret what Obi-Wan was thinking and trying to deter his unwanted emotions wouldn't help much so the two Jedi Masters hadn't said much since they had arrived.

Obi-Wan had had a conversation with Yoda about Anakin earlier that day and although the Council was wary of the boy he had been allowed to train him...... After he'd said quite bluntly that he'd do it with or without the Council's permission. Shaking his head Yoda had pointed out that he had Qui-Gon's defiance.

Had it been under any other circumstance Obi-Wan probably would have laughed. He'd become his master! But it just made him remember the past and right now the past was something he wasn't too fond of.

Slowly Obi-Wan turned to Anakin Skywalker who was officially now his padawan. He was really young to be a master but Yoda seem to have faith in him...and so had Qui-Gon so he was going to do what he could. He'd fight his fear and be the best teacher he could be. For Qui-Gon.

Anakin turned pale, teary blue eyes to him and frowned, "What happens to me now?"

"The Jedi council has given me permission to train you," Obi-Wan replied, "You will be a Jedi, I promise."

Anakin nodded, trusting Obi-Wan's words then they both turned back to the bright funeral pyre. The flames licked the sky and Obi-Wan silently reaffirmed his promise to his dead master and to himself.

I will keep my promise. I swear. But for now...Goodbye Master...I'll never forget...

THE END

Remember to send me feedback love to hear it! Thanks again to everyone who helped me with this and supported me through this phase and took me to see the movie all those many times. I appreciate it. REALLY!?

 

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