A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house." Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language.
Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".
"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen
A Shasma!
A five year old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.
That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis.
The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and called him behind a hedge.
The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if
it were two inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!
Boy Vs. Girl
There was a fourth grade boy and a fourth grade girl. The fourth grade boy came by the fourth grade girl's house with a football and teased the girl saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a football cause your a girl."
The girl goes to her mom crying so her mom buys her a football. The boy got angry. So the next day he comes by with a boys bike and teases her saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a boys bike cause your a girl!"
So the girl goes crying to her mom and she gets a boys bike. The boy gets very mad. So the next day the boy comes by, pulls down his pants and says, "I have one of these and you can't go crying to your mom to get one!!!"
She goes crying to her mom and then the girl comes out pulls up her dress and says, "My mom said as long as I have one of these I can get as many of those that I want!
A Politic !
Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
Father: Sure son, what's the question?
Son: What is politics?
Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I'm the wage earner, so let's call me the management. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We take care of your needs, so let's call you the people. We'll call the maid the working class and your baby brother we will call the future. Do you understand?
Son: I'm not really sure, dad. I'll have to think about it.
That night, awakened by his baby brother crying, the boy went to see what's wrong. Discovering the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found hid mother sound asleep. He then went to the maid's room, peeking trough the key hole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheard by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to bed.
The next morning:
Son: Dad, now I think I understand politics.
Father: That's great son, explain it to me in your own words.
Son: Well, dad, while the management is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep. The people are being completely ignored and the future is full of shit.
Do You like a Women ?
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."
The bartender says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I''ve just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I''ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn''t anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."
