Best Picture: Fight Club

Directing: Spike Jonze for Being John Malkovich

Actor in a leading role: Kevin Spacey for American Beauty

Actor in a supporting role: John Malkovich for Being John Malkovich

Actress in a leading role: tie - Reese Witherspoon for Election and Annette Benning for American Beauty

Foreign Language Film: Run Lola Run

Original Score: Nothing really impressed me this year therefore, NO AWARD

Original Song: Fuck You Uncle-Fucker from Southpark: Bigger, Longer and Uncut by Trey Parker and Marc Shaiman

Original Screenplay: Charlie Kaufman for Being John Malkovich

Adapted Screenplay: Alex Payne and Jim Taylor for Election

Art Direction: Rick Heinricks and Peter Young for Sleepy Hollow

Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubeski for Sleepy Hollow

Costume Design: Colleen Atwood for Sleepy Hollow
Note: Topsy Turvy did not open in Houston until March, and Titus still hasn’t shown up so these are year 2000 movies

Documentary Feature:Denise Crosby for Trekkies

Animated Feature: Princess Mononoke

Film Editing: Zach Staenberg for The Matrix

Makeup: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Sound: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Sound Effects Editing: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Visual Effects: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Worst Direction: Dennis Dugan for Big Daddy - This movie was inanely stupid, not funny. Adam Shandler is worth $20 million a pop for a film? The mind boggles.

Worst Actor in a leading role: Kevin Costner for Message in a Bottle - I just plain hate Kevin Costner.

Worst Actor in a supporting role: Jake Llyod as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace - Did Lucas tell this kid to act like an American brat?

Worst Actress in a leading role: Sharon Stone for Gloria - just bad.

Worst Actress in a supporting role: Courtney Love for 200 Cigarettes - Why do so many directors put this stupid skank into their movies? SHE CAN’T ACT!!

Worst Foreign Language Film: Romance- boring and dull sex movie.

Worst Original Song: Satan’s Soliloquy from Southpark: Bigger, Longer and Uncut by Trey Parker and Marc Shaiman - It and the scenes with Saddam Hussain brought the movie to a screeching halt.

Worst Original Screenplay: George Lucas for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - what happen to that so-called talent for writing.

Worst Adopted Screenplay: Terrance Malick for The Thin Red Line - One of the worst movies of the year.

Worst excuse for Science Fiction: The Thirteenth Floor - this is what happens when regular people try to sci-fi. Leave it to the experts OK!

Worst use of dick jokes: Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me - one dick joke may be funny in a film, 30 is a row is stupid.

Worst portrayal of Satan: Gabriel Byrne for End of Days - I thought everyone knew the devil pissed fire.

Worst space alien: Jar Jar Binks- Need I say more.

Worst Overrated Independent Film: The Blair Witch Project - hype, hype, hype.

Actor most deserving to be lynched: you guessed it! Kevin Costner.

Stupidest film couple: Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones for Entrapment - Isn’t Connery about 95 years old? Why are all these geezers getting young babes.

Stupidest future film couple: Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman for Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace - The princess is supposed to marry the street-urchin brat and drop a litter for him? The suspension of disbelief in order to watch a movie only goes so far.

Stupidest adaptation of an old television series: The Mod Squad - They are truly running on empty now. What’s next? Three’s Company the Movie?

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