Are you bored and tired of failing to take over the world? Well fear not as Dr. Evil has unleashed his 10 points to world domination. Take it away.
Point 1: Invent a plan that will ensure your control of Earth, even though it will result in huge areas of the world being destroyed or poisoned.
Point 2: Buy a grey safari suit, and adapt it to look a bit commie and nerdy. For now on, no one sees you nude.
Point 3: Acquire exotic pets. Siamese cats, sharks, octopi or one of those dogs with 'granny's neck' skin.
Point 4: Recruit bodyguards, strong silent types. To keep them on their toes regularly punish them by death.
Point 5: Establish a top secret base in one of the world's most photogenic locations not too far from a scuba-equipment hire company, and a international airport.
Point 6: Don't forget to build a secret escape pod. If you need to use it, pretend to bo going to the toilet.
Point 7: Tell everyone crucial details of your evil scheme. You'll enjoy it more if you share it.
Point 8: Ensure your base is stockpiled with huge quantities of high explosives and volatile propellants.
Point 9: When issuing your final ultimatum, get to the point and never negotiate.
Point 10: Say to a secret agent "I've been expecting you"- even if you haven't. |
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