GREAT WISDOM
             1)Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
                walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
                beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
             2)The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
                broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
             3)It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going
                to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time
                to do it.
            4)Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you be promoted.
            5)No one is listening until you fart.
            6)Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
            7)Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
            8)It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
               be serve as a bad example.
           9)It is far more impressive when others discover your good   

              qualities without your help.
           10)If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple   

              of car payments.
           11)Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their    

               shoes. That way, when you criticize them,you're a mile way and  

               you have their shoes.
           12)If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
           13)Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to  

               fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
           14)If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was  

               probably worth it.
          15)Don't squat with your spurs on. 
          16)If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
          17)Some days you are the bug some days you are the windshield.
          18)Don't worry it only seems kinky the first time.
          19)Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes 

             from bad judgment.
          20)The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and 

             put it in your pocket.
          21)Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
          22)A closed mouth gathers no foot.
          23)Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, 

             and it holds the universe together.
          24)There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
          25) Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when

              your mouth is moving.
          26) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need  

              it.
          27) Never miss a good chance to shut up.
          28) We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.