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WORK IS HELL:
INCONVENIENCE IN STORE

 

 

Pity poor Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran), who is not having a good Saturday. He's been rousted out of bed early and talked into filling in for a co-worker at the local convenience store, even though it's his day off and he has a hockey game scheduled for that afternoon. His current girlfriend Veronica (Marilyn Ghigliotti) has just admitted to being a bit more, um, "orally promiscuous" than Dante finds acceptable, and his previous girlfriend Caitlin (Lisa Spoonhauer), whom he's been surreptitiously renewing contact with while she's away at college, has announced her engagement to an Asian design major. Meanwhile, the customers are being extra-jerky ("Whattaya mean, 'there's no ice?' You expect me to drink this coffee hot?"), the local dope dealers have set up shop outside the front door, and Randall (Jeff Anderson), Dante's friend who works next door in the video store, is going out of his way to piss off the clientele of both stores. About all Dante can do is hold his head in his hands and moan "I'm not even supposed to be in today!"

CLERKS: Dante and Randall take inventory

CLERKS (1994), Kevin Smith's feature-film debut, was inspired by (and filmed in) the actual South Jersey convenience store where Smith worked during the day. Family loans and a maxed-out credit card allowed Smith enough of a budget (under $25,000) to film in 16mm black & white, but what he lacked in production values, he more than made up for with spot-on performances (including his own as drug-dealer Silent Bob) and a hilarious, far-beyond-profane script. (Indeed, the MPAA came damn close to tarring CLERKS with a deadly NC-17, but Smith and producer/partner Scott Mosier were able to argue the ratings board down to a more acceptable R.) Like MAN BITES DOG, it occupies that gray zone between amok student film and faux documentary.

Although he named his lead character -- and structured the sections of the film -- after Dante's Inferno, that's about as highbrow as Smith's script gets. CLERKS is, if nothing else, a 90's cousin of FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, eschewing plot for a series of episodes showing the young characters stumbling through life. Most of these people don't even qualify as "slackers," who devote all their time and effort to avoiding real work; the gang here are, to a man, working-class drones who've risen as high as they're gonna get on the socio-economic food chain.

CLERKS: Veronica & fire extinguisher to the rescue!

As Dante, O'Halloran (a dead ringer for makeup-effects ace Tom Savini) comes across as a well-meaning schlub with no great ambition (he's a college dropout, and Veronica even transferred to a local campus in an attempt to convince him to resume schooling) and a tendency to let people walk all over him. While he shows occasional ingenuity (the film's now-famous "rooftop hockey game" scene), it's still not enough to pull him out of his rut. Ghigliotti gives Veronica both compassion (she brings Dante a tray of lasagne for lunch) and backbone; when an anti-smoking activist provokes cigarette-buying customers to attack Dante, it's Veronica -- and a handy fire extinguisher -- who breaks up the melee.

CLERKS: Dante and Randall philosophize.

But it is Anderson's hilarious turn as Randall ("This job would be great if it wasn't for the ****ing customers.") that supplies CLERKS with its heart (of darkness) and soul. Irresponsible, extravagently rude, contemptuous of everything, obsessed with porno, and possessing a smartass retort for any occasion, Randall is the sort of best friend who's a pisser to be around -- when he's not making your life an absolute hell. His bull sessions with Dante are CLERKS' highpoints; whether arguing the merits of hermaphroditic porn, debating whether EMPIRE STRIKES BACK or RETURN OF THE JEDI was the better film, or bitching about their respective stores' clientele, the dialog has the crisp, back-and-forth snap of a championship ping-pong game. (Their best-known exchange: when a disbelieving Dante sputters "You hate people!", and Randall, with implacable logic, blissfully replies "But I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic?")

CLERKS: What WAS Caitlin doing in the bathroom?!?

Not all of CLERKS works -- what happens to Caitlin in the store's bathroom is a sick joke that degenerates into a mean-spirited punchline -- but the film is, overall, a low-key winner. It actually impressed me enough to consider seeking out Smith's followups (the almost universally slammed MALLRATS and the better-received current release CHASING AMY). And if he hasn't done so already, here's my vote for more film appearances from Randall. My local 7-Eleven could use a wise guy like him...

Need to satisfy your jones for Smith?

 

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