Acerbic Commentary

VANITY, THY URL IS http://www.look.at.me.dammit.com

Shortly after getting the Rumpus ROM up and running, da Flatline decided to be a good neighbor and stroll through the GeoCities Hollywood Hills, checking out the other homesteaders.

Not to bite the hand that hosts me, but I wasn’t too impressed with what I found. Oh, there are quite a few worthwhile sites here: the Michael Ironside fan homepage was a treat, Wicket's Insane Asylum lived up to its name, and Toedancer's site was...er...kinky. Unfortunately, a good chunk of what I found looked something like this:

• A graphic (typically Cindy Crawford, Cookie Monster, a smiley face, or a flag) in the upper left-hand corner.
• Some desultory text explaining that the user was new/still learning HTML, and would be improving things shortly.
• Maybe a few links to friends’ homepages.
• Sporadic use of background and/or line images.
• A mailto: link.
• Perhaps a counter.

That’s it. Now, I realize not everyone is an MS FrontPage 97 guru, and for that reason alone GeoCities (and other free-page sites) offer quickie canned-page design tools, but these sites seem to have been thrown up for no other reason than having a billboard on the Information SuperDriveway. Many of these "webmasters" are obviously kids who’ve just gotten a computer and/or Web access, and are starting up the cyber-equivalent of a clubhouse. Cynics have accused the Matrix of being the next CB-radio craze, but what it’s really turned into is a global vanity press.

In my defense, let me add that I had no plans at all about being a Site-fuhrer before stumbling onto GeoCities, and in fact the whole "acerbic commentary/B-movies/cute girls" concept of the Rumpus ROM literally emerged in a satori-style *flash!* as I was filling out the entry form. I’ve also written more than a few Windows Help files [thank you, RoboHelp!], which gave me a head start on hyperlinking and the like. Plus the fact that I’m a second-generation writer who’s been putting his thoughts into immovable type since grade school, and therefore can almost guarantee that the pages you read will be anything BUT content-free.

(And yes, mea maxima culpa, this entire site is pretty much a vanity production, too. But heck, I’m proud of it.)

Meanwhile, I shall continue my virtual jogs though the neighborhoods, knocking on Web doors, introducing myself, and scoping out the furniture. You’ll know me immediately: I’ll be the one wearing the "NO FORM WITHOUT CONTENT!" sweatshirt.

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