Don't ask me to explain why the Romans are hell-bent on occupying Ireland after they have already pulled out of Britain.

Don't ask me how the Irish manage to cast grenades perfectly on their first try but can't fix somebody's torn chainmail sleeve.

Don't ask me to explain why the Druids are worshipping in a medieval stone fortress instead of an ancient oak grove.

Don't ask me to explain why the Druids are bowing and scraping before some whiny little six-year-old "Father" when it took at least twelve years just to become a poet, let alone a priest!

Don't ask me to explain why it premiered at Number 19 in the ratings, won its time slot in its second half-hour and has now fallen to (and continues falling past) Number 105. (Hint: it may have something to do with co-executive producer Ron Koslow's comment, "Very little is known about {Fifth Century Ireland}, and I knew practically nothing coming into it." We refer Mr. Koslow to Francis Bacon's comment about "a little knowledge...!")

Puh-leeze don't ask me to explain that tank top! (And no we can't explain why the Druids are all dressed like Dominicans; but the answer probably has a lot to do with Koslow's comment!) We dare say that the only reason that Fox hasn't put this dog to sleep yet is that they have pre-paid for thirteen episodes; don't expect to see Episode Fourteen!

NOTE TO FOX-TV executives: one does not create a cult hit by alienating one's probable core audience before a show premieres; one does not create a cult hit at all by insulting that core audience's intelligence during each and every episode.

The only thing that could conceivably save this show from becoming landfill is for star Heath Ledger to suddenly become very popular in the States, which he hasn't yet.

Okay, you guys win. We can explain some of this rubbish. We have been to the official Roar Web site. Oy gevalt! We refer you to the page "explaining" Fifth Century weaponry. For those of you who would like to own some of the items illustrated there, look up a company called Museum Replicas, whose catalog will clearly explain that the axe illustrated on the Roar Web site dates to about 800+ years after the show's period, the two spears (which are Viking, for crying out loud, not even the two Celtic spears which Museum Replicas sells) date from about 400+ years after the show's time period, etc. The illustrated sword, by the way, is Scottish, not Irish (and, no, we ain't talking Dal Riada, here!). While you gape, aghast, at the official site, remember that we were quite prepared to offer our (usually very, very) expensive research services to Cassidy and Koslow . . . for free.