Howdy there, this here's Sudsy.  I thank ya'll for comin' by and checkin' out this here site.  I got some concerns though.

First, let me remind ya'll that this here page contains the opinion of Sudsy Watson.  It ain't in no way meant to harm ya'll.

As long as I'm at it, I wanna let ya'll know that there might be some rough language (nothin' ya'll wouldn't hear on television though).

Finally, I got me an E-mail from a nice lady who took offense to comments I made 'bout a couple of dead country music stars.  I apologize for suggesting that they would rise from the grave and fight one another for sport.  But I seem to recall a disclaimer that said not to take this personal like, and that it was all in fun.  In any case, the squeeky wheel gets the grease, and thanks to the nice lady with no sense of humor, ya'll is gonna miss out on the joke cuz I removed it at her bitter request.

And one last thing, If ya'll wanna sign my guestbook, be nice about it.

Well, I have...  And here are my picks (winners in blue)

Shania Twain    vs    Martina McBride
        She's little but she's loud - and she would walk all over Shania.  Having kids toughens a broad up a bit.  And since Shania is childless, count on her to get whipped like a stockbroker in a crack den.

Bryan White      vs    Lila McCann
      Bryan isn't exactly what you might call "masculine", leaving me to go with Lila on this one.  Now if it was Barry White...

Sawyer Brown  vs    Ricochet
      First of all, I think Mark Miller could probably take them on his own, but there's no point to add insult to injury.  Ricochet would stand about as much of a chance against a lone Mark Miller as they would the entire band.

Steve Wariner and Anita Cochran    vs    Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
      Tim and Faith can shove "It's Your Love" in their collective butts on this one.  There hasn't been a beating like this since Tracy Lawrence's wife mouthed off to him.   And speaking of Tracy...

Tracy Lawrence vs   Wynonna
        This one just isn't fair.  You can imagine how Wynonna would treat the little wife-smacker if she had to confront him in a fight.  Being outweighed by a couple hundred pounds certainly doesn't help Tracy's cause either.

Leann Rimes      vs   Trisha Yearwood
        We could call it the "Grammy Grudge Match", and from the way Leann has been acting lately about her Grammy loss, She could use a good ass kickin'.  There hasn't been a slaughter like this since Leann re-recorded "Unchained Melody".

Aaron Tippin       vs   Cledus T Judd
        Aaron is actually giving up quite a bit of size to Cledus, but common decency prohibits me from even suggesting that Cledus would stand a snowball's chance in hell.  Look on the bright side, It would be one of Aaron's greatest hits.

Deanna Carter    vs   Pam Tillis
       Pam was recently seen on "the RuPaul Show", leading me to believe that Pam suffers from some sort of brain trauma.  On those grounds, I have to give the match to Deanna.
 

Garth Brooks      vs    Dwight Yoakam
          I know what you must be thinking, but hear me out.  Has Garth Brooks ever had sex with Sharon Stone?  Have you seen "Basic Instinct"?  Would you mess with a guy who had sex with that woman?  I know she said that kissing him was like eating a dirt sandwich, but that's beside the point.  Make sure you see the new television special "Garth, Getting His Ass Whipped By Dwight, Live in An Alley ".

Sammy Kershaw  vs  Collin Raye
        Anybody who hangs out with Joe Pesci must be a bad-ass.  I gotta go with Sammy in this one.  In fact, I haven't seen a southerner give anyone this much of a lickin', since Monica Lewinski was just an intern.

Reba McEntire      vs     Lorrie Morgan
        After reviewing photos of these two from the start of their carreers to the present, I'm under the impression that there has been some "enhancement".  May the breast woman win - in this case Lorrie.  She's got the upper hand, and upper body.

Trace Adkins         vs     Travis Tritt
         T-R-O-U-B-L-E.  W-H-O-O-P A-S-S.  However it's spelled, It's damn embarrassing for a guy as big as Trace.  The bottom line, Travis is a southern rocker, a long hair, a Harley-Davidson owner, and he plays guitar better than most.  Until I see Trace take that goddamn hat off and play some 'Skinnard, I go with T.T.

Randy Travis         vs     Hank Williams Jr.
          Take it from me, never mess with a guy who can drink your weight in scotch.

Brooks & Dunn      vs     Lonestar
          How many guys are there in Lonestar, nine?  Having more members in your band doesn't guarantee more hits, gotta go with B&D.  Look on the bright side guys, there are worse people to get your asses kicked by.  Just ask Ricky Van Shelton.

Dolly Parton       vs         Tanya Tucker
             Don't expect these mangy old cats to pull any punches in this one.  It wouldn't help much if I said the one with the real breasts would win either. "Medical enhancements" aside,  Tanya doesn't have her own amusement park.  Unless you count her bedroom...

Ronnie Milsap         vs         Vince Gill
           He's blind.  And he still kicks Vince's ass.  Pathetic.  On a different note, I find it disturbing that claims he drives a semi-truck in the song "Prisoner of the Highway".  We should get ahold of Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles, you know, road trip.  Or they could race against Sandy Duncan and Peter Falk.

Tracy Byrd              vs        Neal McCoy
            I only give this match to Neal because of the quality of his live show.  On the other hand, if he were fighting anyone else, Neal would be in deep trouble.  To spice things up a bit, I'd let them use their guitars as weapons.

Chris LeDoux          vs        John Michael Montgomery
             JMM might have bitten off a little more than he could chew here.  I think he'd have to change some of his song titles too.  Like "Angel in My Eyes" could become "Stars in My Head", and "I Swear" could become "I Swear, I Done Got My Bell Rung", or maybe he could change "I Can Love You Like That" to "Will Someone Bring My Teeth To The Hospital With Them So The Doctors Can Put Them Back In My Head".

The Dixie Chicks     vs        The Forester Sisters
            The way I see it, the Forester Sisters should be happy to get their asses whupped.  They haven't had a hit in about 10 years, but during this fight, they'll get so many hits that their heads will swell with pride.  As for the DC, on their way home, the "Chicks" could stop off and beat up Lonestar and Ricochet.  After that, they can stop by my house and give me a spanking.

Billy Ray Cyrus     vs        Ricky Van Shelton
            The fight has to go to Billy Ray, just cuz he's a big son-of-a-bitch.  I am a little apprehensive about Billy's career though.  I know he's big in Chile and Brazil and other third world countries (just like David Hasselhoff), but I think he needs to evaluate his current situation...  Right after he knocks Ricky Van Shelton's head off.

Mary Chapin Carpenter        vs        Terri Clark
            Not an easy win, but I gotta go with Terri in this one.  What a fight it would be, in fact, if you looked up "cat-fight" in the dictionary, you might see a picture of this one...  Or maybe our next fight.

Sherrie Austin       vs        Mindy McCready
                If piercing your navel makes you cool, then consider Mindy the "Miles Davis" of country music.  But since it doesn't make you cool, she gets no such title.  She does however earn the title of "Had My Ass Kicked By Sherrie Austin".  And one last thing, the next time you see Mindy, call her Pamela.

David Lee Murphy     vs     Hal Ketchum
            I'll take a pint of Guinness, some corned beef and cabbage and I'll put two bits on the Murphy boy.  Don't mess with an Irishman.
 
 

I know I'm leaving some out, but I am human.

LET ME AGAIN REMIND YOU!!!

If you found this to be offensive, just remember that it's all in the name of humor.  I just want to state that I, Sudsy Watson, wish no harm to come to any of these great country artists.
 

Except Cledus T. Judd, who honestly lacks talent.
 

He should fall over and hurt himself grievously.