"My friends always ask me, 'Why don't you watch TV?' I say, 'because it gives me a headache.'"

-Booker
(21 Jump Street)

Which brings us here, to Jump Street, a place where there are more high schools in a twenty mile radius than there are diners in all of New Jersey. It's a place where it's okay for men to wear eyeliner. There's nothing like meeting someone who knows what you're talking about when you say, "Remember that one where Johnny Depp got handcuffed to a rollercoaster by that girl who set fire to the float on 90210?" Unfortunately, it's only playing on FX right now, a channel I don't get. If you hear of it rerunning on any other national, New York or Philly station, please email me.

Ah, Welcome Back Kotter! This is a show that was created around the same time I was, but I didn't discover its genius until I was in high school. If I had to pick my favourite sweathog, it would have to be Arnold Horshack, but if I were a sweathog, I'd be Juan Epstein. Personally, I think they should do a reunion show called "Welcome Back Horshack" where Horshack teaches a new class of sweathogs.

So I had a slight obsession with MTV (and especially Adam Curry) when I was twelve. Who didn't? Hey, a friend of mine was obsessed with family feud. Now she was a freak!

A finer channel does not exist. Where else can you find a movie with naked bowling? If you don't have Sundance, do whatever you can to get it. I need a TV with only four channels-- Cartoon Network, TNT & TBS (for wrestling,) and Sundance for everything else.

I remember Square Pegs from when I was little, but when it was on USA when I was twelve, that's when I watched it religiously. Why? Tracey Nelson. It was during my Nelson obsession, and Tracey was an extension of my adoration...even if she was a Valley Bitch on the show. Besides, it was a good show that didn't trigger any gag reflexes.

Parker Lewis. Where did you think I learned to be so cool? I, however, cannot begin to cover the coolness. I leave that up to other, more Corkily-inclined people.

You take the good, you take the bad. You take 'em both, and there you have the facts of life. Yes, I learned everything about the facts from Mrs. G. and the girls. Quite possibly the best show ever on television, I cannot say enough good things about the facts of life. When Blair and Jo graduated, I was just as upset as Natalie and Tootie. I thought it was the end, But it turns out it was just the beginning. Seems to me, it's time for a reunion for the Eastland girls as well as the sweathogs, but its only a dream.