Melvin: How can you diagnose me as obsessive compulsive and then tell me I have a choice about barging in
here?
Melvin: People who talk in analogies should have to shampoo my crotch.
Melvin: Sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.
Simon: I love you, Melvin.
Melvin: I tell you, buddy, I'd be the luckiest man alive if that's what did it for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol Connelly: That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin Udall: Well maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.
Melvin Udall: I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!
Carol: Do you want to dance?
Melvin: I've been thinking about that for a while.
Carol: [standing up] Well?
Melvin: No.
Melvin: Judging from you're eyes, I'd say you were fifty.
Carol: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were kind.
Simon Bishop: If you stare at someone long enough, you start to see their humanity.
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of men, and I take away reason and accountability.
Carol Connelly: Do you have any control over how creepy you can get?